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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you employ household staff if money were no object?

266 replies

UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 14:51

I'm a Nanny and I work in a household of 20+ staff. Mum doesn't work.
I was wondering today whether, if money were no object, I'd have a similar set up or not.

For context, there are several children, each with their own nanny and I manage those nannies, in a "Head Nanny" role.
There are also several housekeepers, butlers, maids, chauffeurs etc.
The family consists of the children and both parents.

I think I'd HAVE to go out to work, even though I wouldn't need to, as I get bored incredibly easily. But I suspect that I'd get bored of my job and then end up starting new things again and again. (In short, I'd suck at being wealthy)

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, this is in AIBU because it was going to be "AIBU to be uncomfortable with the idea of household staff?" but then I thought I'd get ripped apart for not being neutral

OP posts:
FreudianSlurp · 02/03/2018 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

falsepriest · 02/03/2018 15:19

I'd have staff in a heartbeat, but sure as hell I'd find something to focus my time on - invest in a local youth sports team, or something.

GerdaLovesLili · 02/03/2018 15:20

No. A cleaner yes, a gardener yes, but categorically no live-in staff.

stevie69 · 02/03/2018 15:22

Hell, no! Nobody comes into my house—it's my space Blush

I'm a social butterfly—but that's what pubs/clubs/gyms, and so on, are for.

ScreamingValenta · 02/03/2018 15:23

Yes, but I wouldn't want them living in. I'd have them in this order of preference -

  1. Cleaner
  2. Regular gardener
  3. Regular odd job/handyperson
  4. Caretaker for when we were on holiday (he/she would live in and cat sit)
  5. Chauffeur (I don't drive)
  6. On call chef
  7. Launderer

Also if this counts, an accountant to take care of all household finances.

Bloomed · 02/03/2018 15:23

I've wondered how these multi staff houses work OP. Are there any spaces exclusively for the homeowners or is everyone in and out of everywhere?

Qwebec · 02/03/2018 15:24

Like others I would hate waving staff IN my house. I could easily outsource tasks as long as they don't have to spend hours inside or on my property. Its a home not a work place. And it's private.

Hogtini · 02/03/2018 15:24

Heck yes

HotelEuphoria · 02/03/2018 15:25

It depends.

I would have a cleaner and a gardener. If my children were small I would possibly have a nanny. Maybe a secretary, but I cant think what else I would want or need.

WTF does a butler do these days?

Dvg · 02/03/2018 15:27

Not to that extent, I would have a regular babysitter, a cleaner to come every other day for like 3 hours or so and a chef to come at lunch and dinner .. and a Massage therapist for like 3 times a week :D that is all. Damn that makes me jealous :(

Itsnotmesothere · 02/03/2018 15:28

Fuck yeah! Presumably I'd live in a massive "house" which I'd need help managing. If I worked, I'd definitely have a nanny, not sure about a nanny if I didn't but maybe a nanny on a retainer for impromptu baby sitting and stuff
Right now I'd settle for a cleaner, sick of having to deep clean the kitchen after what feels like every meal. I never used to sweep and wash floor 3 times a day!; DS throws food he's finished on the floor and smears my glass surfaces with his sticky mitts every single day Angry

Original poster
UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 15:29

twattymctwatterson

Not even slightly. This family are by far the best I've ever worked for.

OP posts:
Emmageddon · 02/03/2018 15:29

Do you work for Will and Kate?

I'd definitely have a cleaner, gardener, someone to do the laundry and shopping, and a night time nanny to do the night feeds. Alas, I didn't win Euromillions so it ain't gonna happen.

stopcryingearly · 02/03/2018 15:29

I have a cleaner/ironing lady already & kept her through 2 years mat leave. Plus I also kept the childminder for 1st child during 2nd mat leave although that was more to do with not losing my space.

I would still work if money was no object. I would love a cook as I'm not interested in it. Yes to chauffeur so I do not have to faff with parking (London).

coffeemugged · 02/03/2018 15:29

I'd like a chef and a personal trainer to keep me in shape!

Also housekeeping and gardening staff.

I'd not have a nanny for my one ds though.

And nobody would live in- well maybe on the grounds but not in the house Smile

pallisers · 02/03/2018 15:30

I wouldn't want live-in staff. Didn't have an au pair for that reason. My SIL had a full-time live in nanny/housekeeper when she was a SAHM - it made life a lot easier for her but I would have hated having someone there the whole time.

We have a weekly cleaner, gardening service when needed and daily dogwalker.

pallisers · 02/03/2018 15:30

Oh yes coffee a personal trainer who came to the house would be great!

tenbob · 02/03/2018 15:31

I have a nanny housekeeper but I work FT

In an ideal world, I'd have a separate housekeeper, and also have a handyman-driver and a retained but PT personal trainer

MaisyPops · 02/03/2018 15:32

I would hate the idea of lounging around whilst others pick up for me. It's bad enough taking my car to be valeted whilst i shop at Tesco.

I wouldn't mind having a cleaner whilst I'm working but the idea of being a 'lady/man of leisure' whilst other people are essentially servants makes me feel quite uncomfortable.

Wallywobbles · 02/03/2018 15:32

I grew up with staff. We had a live in Nanny til I went to school at 5. We had a cook who came 9-12 and a cleaner who did the same. Lived in staff cottages.

My mum died of cancer when I was 7 and we had a live in housekeeper. I was at boarding school Mon to Fri. Older kids full time boarding. Dad lived at the office Min to Fri so not sure what she did some of the time.

We had farm staff and grooms too. It was never intrusive. Everyone came in for lunch so from after lunch onwards no-one is in the house.

I think our live in nanny caused a lot of trouble though. She had been my mums nanny when she was a baby. I loved my nanny but never loved her like my mum.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2018 15:32

I would hate living in a house like that. You cant just wander around in an old t shirt, farting to your hearts content if there is a member of staff in virtually every room!

I would have a house keeper in to do cleaning/laundry/etc and a gardener but I wouldnt want the full Downton.

Original poster
UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 15:33

Are there any spaces exclusively for the homeowners or is everyone in and out of everywhere? I'll go pretty much anywhere, though I always knock on closed doors obviously.

The maids work from 7am-10pm but generally are in the same rooms at the same times each day and never when the family are in that room.

I'd say its a balance between being everywhere and having private space. There is nowhere off limits, if thats what you mean.

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 02/03/2018 15:33

I'd have a chef, cleaner, gardener & someone to do my hair & make-up. Not a nanny though, rather do it myself.

theSnuffster · 02/03/2018 15:35

I'd have a cleaner/ housekeeper- someone who would come and do the whole lot including laundry, ironing, etc. Even putting clean clothes away because I hate that bit. Also a handyman or woman to take care of gardening, decorating, general maintainance. But that's probably it. I wouldn't want all those people around my home all the time!

liz70 · 02/03/2018 15:37

"farting to your hearts content if there is a member of staff in virtually every room!"

Au contraire, long ago I once worked in a household where the husband used to sit in his armchair, reading his newspaper, and farting like a carthorse, while the nanny and myself were in the room, both of us having to maintain an impassive countenance. Hmm