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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you employ household staff if money were no object?

266 replies

UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 14:51

I'm a Nanny and I work in a household of 20+ staff. Mum doesn't work.
I was wondering today whether, if money were no object, I'd have a similar set up or not.

For context, there are several children, each with their own nanny and I manage those nannies, in a "Head Nanny" role.
There are also several housekeepers, butlers, maids, chauffeurs etc.
The family consists of the children and both parents.

I think I'd HAVE to go out to work, even though I wouldn't need to, as I get bored incredibly easily. But I suspect that I'd get bored of my job and then end up starting new things again and again. (In short, I'd suck at being wealthy)

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, this is in AIBU because it was going to be "AIBU to be uncomfortable with the idea of household staff?" but then I thought I'd get ripped apart for not being neutral

OP posts:
Goldfishshoals · 03/03/2018 12:48

I can't drive for medical reasons so a chauffeur would give me (and my kids) so much freedom. I'd have one in a heartbeat.

If I were rich enough to have a bigger house I'd want a cleaner and a gardener (not everyday).

Then if we're really pushing the boat out, a PA to do all the admin, a cook to do healthier meals than I can be bothered with, and visits from my personal trainer...

CuppaSarah · 03/03/2018 12:51

I'd get an au pair if I was rich and travel lots and lots... maybe a private tutor/teacher for the children so they can continue their education while travelling. Although the social benefits of school are very important...

But 100% we'd hire an au pair.

CointreauVersial · 03/03/2018 12:54

20+ staff is probably a bit extreme, but I guess if you have that much money your house is probably massive enough to swallow them all.

But I often joke to DH that when we win the lottery we'll hire a full-time cook/housekeeper. I hate cooking, and would happily let someone do that for me.

windchimesabotage · 03/03/2018 12:59

I dont know... I guess it would depend on how many children I had and how big my house was!

I have a feeling that if I came into a lot of money then owning a beautiful house would be important to me. It would probably be very old and need regular maintainance in that case. So I would probably need some staff wouldnt I?
I guess someone to garden, a cleaner, some handy men and a nanny.

Im not sure I could ever have the amount of staff your employer has if I didnt work myself. I think id find that quite invasive and awkward. Especially if I were there a lot so could have done many things myself.

I would certainly have one nanny if i could afford it because neither me or my husband has family in this country so it would be great to just get to relax sometimes knowing that the children were being cared for by someone they knew and was consistently there. Rather than a babysitter. I have never actually dared use a baby sitter yet!!

Aria2015 · 03/03/2018 13:11

If money were no object then I'd like a housekeeper to keep the place clean and tidy (or cleaners every day / every other day), a chef because I don't like cooking and a driver because then i wouldn't have to worry about parking and I could have a drink lol! I wouldn't want any of them living in the house with me though, so I guess they'd just be employed to cover certain hours? I wouldn't have a nanny though, I'd just manage myself or with family help. Gah! Now I'm day dreaming about being super rich lol!

flirtygirl · 03/03/2018 13:33

No nobody in the house with me as never can relax. Id just have a window cleaner and help in the garden as needed. Tutors as and when needed, thats it.

GallicosCats · 03/03/2018 13:43

I would 100% outsource the ironing and laundry, since I can't seem to do more than about 5 shirts an hour without burning myself/ironing in wrinkles, and kingsize cotton bedclothes are lovely to sleep in but a mare to launder in a domestic machine.

Also the cooker hood and oven (not self cleaning despite advertising itself as such.) Vile vile job.

YimminiYoudar · 03/03/2018 14:02

Oh yes laundry didn't occur to me as DH does it all but that would also be a thing.

But I wouldn't choose to use a nanny if I didn't work full time. Needs-must for work purposes obviously but I dislike having to negotiate on matters of discipline and rules with someone else who has professional experience that whilst worthy of respect may not fit with my choices.

Louiselouie0890 · 03/03/2018 14:12

No I find it intrusive.

GrumpyOldMare · 03/03/2018 14:14

No,no way,not a chance. I like to clean/cook MY way.I'd only be going after them to make sure it was done properly!

CheeseGirl4 · 03/03/2018 14:16

Absolutely not. I would have a cleaner, and assuming I had moved to a fancy-house a gardner would be nice. I like my privacy and my own space, I'd hate having people there all the time.

Fionne · 03/03/2018 14:40

No,no way,not a chance. I like to clean/cook MY way.I'd only be going after them to make sure it was done properly!

It takes a good 6 months to train someone to your standards. And a good 9 months to let them start cooking a meal so it comes to the table the way you want it to. The rule of thumb is that you train people up to your standards, you don’t drop down to theirs if they’re less than what your used to. And even if their standards are on par with your own it’s very easy to make sure that anything you want cooked for eg is cooked the way you want it to be cooked. But of course a good housekeeper will always bring her own skills into your home, and to your table, so you’d be biting off your own nose to spite your face if you didn’t recognise this and insisted on things only being done your own way.

Fionne · 03/03/2018 14:46

Sorry, posted too soon

I’m sure some employers give up their home to their staff and let them get up with it but that’s never worked for me. I’m still very hands on in the house and once a month we have 2 days where we do a deep clean of doors, windows, skirting, walls, the floors are machine cleaned, and cupboards etc are done. I could never give up my home for others to care for but without a doubt if I died or ended up bedridden my house would run as smoothly as it does now with very little intervention from whoever would come and live with me and my son.

Sgtmajormummy · 03/03/2018 14:48

On a purely selfish level, I’d love a personal assistant who would remind me about (or do) all the bills, due payments, meetings, equipment sorting and general organization that causes me low level stress and means I’m constantly checking my diary before committing to anything.

The rest of my life is (mostly) under control but if that person doesn’t mind lending a hand with housework and DCs’ activities or sharing the driving I’d be happy to pay a salary and offer accommodation.

A sort of “alternative me” to fill in the gaps is what I need!

TattyTShirt · 03/03/2018 15:10

I'd have a cleaner 3 times a week, a gardener as and when needed plus someone to do my ironing twice a week.

I prefer to make dinner and look after the kids myself.

LemonysSnicket · 03/03/2018 20:45

Yes.
Cleaner, ironing/laundress, gardener, concierge.

I’d do my own cooking etc and shopping but someone doing my laundry and washing up would be a dream.

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