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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think 29 is too old to be in a band...

116 replies

Pecanpickles · 28/02/2018 23:39

... for a living?

My brother’s friend’s job is to be in a local band. They’re quite good, but not hugely successful either, they’re still waiting for their ‘big break’. He does some minimum wage supermarket shifts to supplement his income.

This man has a wife and two small children under 5. He also has a degree. AIBU to think he should grow up and get a proper job, or am I a stuffy killjoy?

OP posts:
Skarossinkplunger · 28/02/2018 23:41

Why is this any of your business?

MarthaArthur · 28/02/2018 23:42

Killjoy. If he makes enough to pay the bills he should follow his passion. And no 29 is not too old to be in a band or tell that to dave grohl.

clumsyduck · 28/02/2018 23:42

Brian May says no ! 😂

PhilODox · 28/02/2018 23:42

Have you heard of the Rolling Stones at all?

Frogthefrog · 28/02/2018 23:43

Not really any of your business is it?

Bluelady · 28/02/2018 23:43

In all honesty it's probably best left up to him to decide.

Original poster
Pecanpickles · 28/02/2018 23:44

It’s not my business! But still I think it and I want to know if I am unreasonable!

OP posts:
GottadoitGottadoit · 28/02/2018 23:44

Your sole reason for saying this guy should give up his job is that it sounds like too much fun for a man of his age.

Is that right. Confused

Skarossinkplunger · 28/02/2018 23:44

Ok YADBU.

DramaAlpaca · 28/02/2018 23:45

I don't think it's anything to concern yourself about really. It's not as if it affects you in any way whatsoever.

clumsyduck · 28/02/2018 23:46

He's earning money presumably used to support his family same as we all are .

We don't have to conform to some pre Middle Aged snooze fest if we don't want you know . Life's to short

PickAChew · 28/02/2018 23:46

Fuck. YANBU. 29 is ancient.

Ragusa · 28/02/2018 23:48

Are they shit? If so, then YANBU. If they are any good, then .... less so. Elbow were together, plugging away for 10 years, before the big time hit. Their lead singer was early thirties by that point. There are many other examples ...

DalekDalekDalek · 28/02/2018 23:48

Isn't it better that he does something that makes him happy than a job he hates? If it's enough to support his family then who cares?

FaFoutis · 28/02/2018 23:48

YABU and boring. People should follow their passions much more than they do.

Birdsgottafly · 28/02/2018 23:50

YABU, he is doing something that he has a passion for and still working to make ends meet.

Think what you like but it would do you the world of good to be more positive.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 28/02/2018 23:59

pickachew i hope that was a sarcastic reply or your about 5, because thats the only time 29 can be described as ancient.

Yes you are Unreasonable op.

It has nothing to do with you.
he is making enough from being in a band to suport his family.
It makes him happy and enjoy going to work. Rather than stressed and grumpy which presumably means his partner has a less stressful less argumentive life.
have you any idea how much work being a musician actally entails
Its nothing to do with you
being a musian can be a proper job Being 29 is still reasonably young
Most people with degrees are in jobs that are nothing to do with their degrees

Its still nothing to do with you

WobblyBanana · 01/03/2018 00:00

So - he's 29 and holding down two jobs, as sole supporter of his wife and children if I've got that right?

Doesn't sound too terrible to me, and if his wife doesn't mind (which I'm assuming she doesn't as she married him) why should you?

YABU

BastardGoDarkly · 01/03/2018 00:03

Yes YABU. What do you do? So we can all have a judge for no reason.

Ginkypig · 01/03/2018 00:07

Of course your unreasonable.

He is working. Obviously you think a minimum wage job isn't really a job worth having and he should be doing better or that's how you make it sound

What he does outside of that is none your business.

Original poster
Pecanpickles · 01/03/2018 00:09

I don’t think they’re shit, but they’ve been at it for 10 years now and don’t seem to be going anywhere.

I’m prepared to be told I am unreasonable, part of me thinks I am being.

I just see his wife newly returned from maternity, working full time and always looking tired, and feel for her a bit. I’m not saying women can’t be main breadwinners or any crap like that, I just think that he could improve their quality of life and ease the pressure on his wife a bit if he got a better paying job (which he does have the quals for!). Seems a bit selfish to me. (I don’t know her views about it, this is just what I think.)

I don’t begrudge him the fun if it, but just think by now it would be better as a hobby!

But, maybe I am boring, I accept that.

OP posts:
BumDisease · 01/03/2018 00:09

YABU for thinking this has anything to do with you

Steakandchips3 · 01/03/2018 00:10

Yabu

Original poster
Pecanpickles · 01/03/2018 00:12

And I KNOW it has nothing to do with me!
I’m not asking if it’s my business, just interested in knowing whether others agree with my opinion!

It seems mostly not!

OP posts:
RidingWindhorses · 01/03/2018 00:15

Way too old to be doing it seriously.

If he had a FT job and it was just a hobby then ok.