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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't know how I feel about abortion anymore

803 replies

sirlee66 · 28/02/2018 16:05

I've always been very pro-choice. A woman's body. A woman's right to choose.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and now I think my thoughts are changing.

I believe the cut off is 24 weeks? There was a lovely lady on here the other day whose waters broke and she gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks! If a baby can survive that early... It just seems...wrong!

Maybe the cut off could be lowered. I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

I don't know what the answer is. I still feel really strongly that ultimately, the mother should decide but I just can't get past babies surviving outside the womb at the same age as a baby that could be aborted.

Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. I also can't stop think about the poor women who have to make that decision. It must be so awful and I just want to give them a big hug.

I guess my question is, AIBU to not really know how I feel about it?

OP posts:
surferjet · 03/03/2018 13:32

It’s interesting reading this thread.
Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one.
So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women.

Isjaki · 03/03/2018 13:34

Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one.
So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women.

And?

The only person who knows how an abortion affects a woman is the individual who had the abortion. Every abortion has its own story.

specialsubject · 03/03/2018 13:43

It isn't hard to see how severe disability or early death of a child after much suffering affects people. And if anyone does take abortion lightly - so what? Every child a wanted child.

BertrandRussell · 03/03/2018 13:47

“It’s interesting reading this thread.
Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one.
So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women.”

  1. Even if you had, you only know how it affected you
  2. We do, however, mostly have empathy and do not live in bubbles.
  3. Do I have to explain again what “choice” means?
BertrandRussell · 03/03/2018 13:49

And 4. I have certainly seen how having a baby they do not want/cannot care for can affect some women. Something often forgotten by the “abortion screws women up” brigade.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 03/03/2018 13:51

Being pro-choice doesn’t mean you have to have an abortion to prove it!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/03/2018 13:59

Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one. So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women.
That’s not really relevant since it is often circumstances that result in a choice to abort a pregnancy. In some circumstances I might well have made that choice, however I’ve been fortunate enough not to be in this position. Take the example of a woman with insecure housing, insecure low income and a couple of small children already that she is struggling to raise alone. She might choose to have a termination if she becomes pregnant again. She may feel terrible about it and it may affect her badly, but it doesn’t mean she still wouldn’t make the same choice again under those circumstances. What you are indicating is that the option should be removed because a woman may suffer for it afterwards. But if it’s the circumstances that make a woman feel that abortion is her best course of action at the time then what we need to fix is the circumstances, not remove the choice. Pro-lifers that are serious about it need to provide the means for women to have their child if they would prefer to. It is ironic to the point of unbelievable that pro-lifers in the US also oppose: proper sex education, provision of contraception, support for single mothers, even sufficient maternity care and maternity leave so women can keep their jobs after childbirth. If they are truly serious about preventing abortion that’s what they need to fix.

BertrandRussell · 03/03/2018 14:02

And nobody seems to have a problem with men putting their tuppence worth in on the forced birth side. How a man can have the unmitigated gall to be anything but pro choice I cannot begin to understand.

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 03/03/2018 14:08

Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one. So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women

I could say (and it would make far more sense in fact) that most anti choicers have never had an unwanted pregnancy, so really they have no idea how having a child they don't want affects some women.

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2018 14:14

Quite a few pro choicer’s wouldn’t have an abortion themselves, or have never had one.
So really, they have no idea how abortion affects some women.

And anyone who has had, or would have, an abortion has no idea how abortion affects anyone except them, as an individual.

I’m struggling to see your point.

smoove · 03/03/2018 14:14

I believe women should have the right to terminate a pregnancy on request right up to the moment of birth. It is no one else's business if they choose to do so. It's important to put that right into law because hardly any woman will ever use it for non-medical reasons but it needs to be there to prevent woman-hating scumbags and forced birthers from endangering women's lives by trying to ban terminations after some or other arbitrary date. its no one elses business apart from her child that she wants to kill and id say killing 185,824 at least a year children is pretty hateful to females as half of them would be women.

Lizzie48 · 03/03/2018 14:17

The thing that does baffle me about pro-lifers in the US in particular is that they're not consistent in their concern for the sanctity of human life. Republicans who oppose abortion tend to also be in favour of warfare, gun ownership and capital punishment. The inconsistency is extraordinary.

smoove · 03/03/2018 14:29

Republicans who oppose abortion tend to also be in favour of warfare, gun ownership and capital punishment. The inconsistency is extraordiny
how is gun ownership similar to abortion however its also a fallacious argument if warfare guns and capital punishment were consistent with the arguments for abortions specifically the fallacy is 'ad hominem tu quoque'

UtterlyRainbowed · 03/03/2018 14:34

I didn't know I was pregnant with Kid 2 until 23 weeks. I didn't know how far along I was but suspected about 15. Given personal circumstances I decided to abort. At the scan (on the day) I was 24 + 4. The law is the law and I was told I couldn't terminate. Honestly, at that time I didn't want to as I agree it's too late unless for health reasons.

Really glad I kept the baby though 😀

stitchglitched · 03/03/2018 14:35

You think the fetus has much of an opinion on the matter bluepears smoove?

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 03/03/2018 14:37

its no one elses business apart from her child that she wants to kill and id say killing 185,824 at least a year children is pretty hateful to females as half of them would be women

It's not a child, its not killing, and I think we should concentrate on the rights of actual human women and not clumps of cells that may or may not one day turn into women, don't you?

Lizzie48 · 03/03/2018 14:40

I was just pointing out that the discussion isn't as black and white as those wanting a ban on abortion like to think. What life is sacred? It appears that for some the life of a foetus is sacred, life after birth not so much.

FYI, I do want to see a reduction in the numbers of abortions, but I don't think forcing women to give birth to unwanted babies is the answer. Better access to birth control and dealing with poverty, however, very definitely is.

smoove · 03/03/2018 14:40

It's not a child, its not killing, and I think we should concentrate on the rights of actual human women and not clumps of cells that may or may not one day turn into women, don't you?
is a child and is killing there facts. a fetus is alive so ending its life is killing by any normal definition. and a child means a human which it also is
You think the fetus has much of an opinion on the matter bluepears smoove? no that is the problem

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2018 14:41

how is gun ownership similar to abortion however its also a fallacious argument

You’re concerned about dead kids? Start with the ones who are already children, having been born.

You’re also misapplying logical fallacies,but I’ll leave you to figure that one out.

Isjaki · 03/03/2018 14:41

It's a very relevant point Lizzie. But don't expect the frothing forced birther to admit you're right. Shouting and lying is their only way.

pointythings · 03/03/2018 14:42

surfer the whole point about being pro-choice is that we do not presume to know what is better for women who are not us, and that we do not impose our own views and opinions on those women. We accept that each and every one of us has the right to make our own choices and take responsibility for them.

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2018 14:43

is a child and is killing there facts.

No. They’re not facts. It is not a child until it is born.

a fetus is alive so ending its life is killing by any normal definition.

A foetus is not independently alive. That’s kind of the point.

smoove · 03/03/2018 14:45

I was just pointing out that the discussion isn't as black and white as those wanting a ban on abortion like to think. What life is sacred? It appears that for some the life of a foetus is sacred, life after birth not so much. its also another falacious argument actually probably 2 because you could guns help self defence capital punishment could act as a deterrent and some wars could lead to peace. therefore straw man and also blatantly Ad Hominem (Guilt by Association)
and also wrong because there are some that are against those 3 and against abortion

Isjaki · 03/03/2018 14:48

Your arguments are weak as piss.

Isjaki · 03/03/2018 14:49

capital punishment could act as a deterrent

I mean, honestly! What guff.

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