I don't know how I feel about abortion anymore

[sirlee66]

I've always been very pro-choice. A woman's body. A woman's right to choose.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and now I think my thoughts are changing.

I believe the cut off is 24 weeks? There was a lovely lady on here the other day whose waters broke and she gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks! If a baby can survive that early... It just seems...wrong!

Maybe the cut off could be lowered. I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

I don't know what the answer is. I still feel really strongly that ultimately, the mother should decide but I just can't get past babies surviving outside the womb at the same age as a baby that could be aborted.

Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. I also can't stop think about the poor women who have to make that decision. It must be so awful and I just want to give them a big hug.

I guess my question is, AIBU to not really know how I feel about it?

bluepears

You're way too over invested in what other women do with their uterus.

i did not say that i dont want anyone to have an abortion with the risk to the mothers life.

But the risk to my life - me, a real, actual person - is much greater from pregnancy than even what you presented as the ‘risk’ of abortion (which seems more likely to be correlation).

You don’t want anyone to have an abortion. I’m anyone. Therefore, by saying you think the rights of my foetus outweigh my rights to decide what happens to my body - and in particular if something is harming my body, to have the choice and ability remove that harm if possible - you are saying it’s ok if I die from being pregnant. That it’s worth it.

Nice.

Bluepears please read the study you linked. Some of the women identified in the study died of late stage cancer or cardio vascular disease FFS. They weren't claiming any causation between abortion and death, they were looking at how the deaths of women who had been pregnant in the last year of their lives were recorded.

I used to be 'against' abortion as a teen.

Then I educated myself.

24 weeks is rare, and likely the most horrendous decision to ever make. As most PP have said, after 20 week scan.

What an awful thing to go through.

And then worse to be judged for it

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22270271/

This is a study that specifically addresses the death rate of abortions versus full term pregnancy.

@bluepears of course you weren't forced to terminate your pregnancy. You had the choice to continue and chose to do so.

Just as women should also not be forced to continue with a pregnancy.

'Bluepears please read the study you linked. Some of the women identified in the study died of late stage cancer or cardio vascular disease FFS. They weren't claiming any causation between abortion and death, they were looking at how the deaths of women who had been pregnant in the last year of their lives were recorded.' ive read and ive read this and no thats a pro life website is not an ok response afterabortion.org/2000/abortion-four-times-deadlier-than-childbirth/ that goes in detail with the statistics but its a simple fact that abortion is a risk factor for suicide as evidenced here www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25420710 no study shows the opposite.

'This is a study that specifically addresses the death rate of abortions versus full term pregnancy.'

that study does not include suicide basic flaw in that study or in the point you are making

You keep changing your argument. First you thought a fetus had legal personhood when this legally isn't the case, then you claimed abortion is riskier than pregnancy and childbirth when this factually isn't the case and now you have gone onto suicide, using a pro life website's interpretation of a 30 year old study. You sound ridiculous (and a bit thick to be frank).

I had a late term abortion and am deeply embarrassed and have not told many people.

I left an abusive marriage with a man who raped me and ended up homeless and jobless within a few days.

I had been so stressed that I hadn't even realised I was pregnant and went to the docs for help as I was feeling really unwell and then had a call one night to say I was pregnant.

I had been hardly eating due to the stress so didn't have any inkling of a bump and assumed I was only just recently pregnant.

When I went to speak to someone about abortion the scan showed I was 18 weeks pregnant and by the time it was arranged I was 21 weeks and had surgical abortion.

Only one friend knows and they put me up for a few days either side so that I didn't have to give excuses to my parents who I was sleeping on the floor of.

I hate myself

You keep changing your argument. First you thought a fetus had legal personhood when this legally isn't the case, then you claimed abortion is riskier than pregnancy and childbirth when this factually isn't the case and now you have gone onto suicide, using a pro life website's interpretation of a 30 year old study. You sound ridiculous (and a bit thick to be frank).
im not changing my argument a fetus is a person fact i never said it was riskier than childbirth i was responding to a poster that said it was not i was criticizing their arguments i fundamentally believe a fetus is a child and has rights ive said that more than once
and your the stupid person insisting a child does not have personhood legally and then not citing any law.

wintermonster

So sorry

I'd step away from any threads on abortion, especially on AIBU as any of this will be triggering and upsetting.

wintermonster please don't hate yourself. What a terrible time for you, totally understandable decision and anyone who judges you for it is without empathy.

Blue, the thing is, you don’t seem to understand what you’re posting.

You’re suggesting that abortion causes suicides, cancer and cardiac deaths and (per the campaigning link you posted - which is a great case study of how decent, reputable research can be twisted) accidents.

The accident figures are the key here. Do you think that abortions actually lead to accident deaths? Or is it more likely that the risk factors that lead to unplanned and unwanted pregnancies - risk taking behaviours, particularly among young people, drugs, alcohol, and many others - are also risk factors for suicides and accidents? That is - the abortion rate is a consequence not a cause.

And still my risk of dying from pregnancy is greater than the even the bogus application of these figures as a direct risk of abortion.

'You’re suggesting that abortion causes suicides, cancer and cardiac deaths and (per the campaigning link you posted - which is a great case study of how decent, reputable research can be twisted) accidents.' i never said it causes cancer that is a ridiculus comment and i notice you still have not posted the law which says a fetus does not have personhood

embryo-ethics.smd.qmul.ac.uk/tutorials/embryo-and-the-law/english-law-foetus/

Have a read of this.

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1258/ce.2010.010021?journalCode=ceta

i never said it causes cancer that is a ridiculus comment

I agree. However, the link you posted to support your argument says otherwise.

and i notice you still have not posted the law which says a fetus does not have personhood

I think you are confusing me with stitched. She’s posted that for you.

Your latest posts contain some outrageous lies, which I’ll deal with once this child is in bed.

Good god, blue, please use punctuation. I read your posts and they're a nightmare to interpret. It doesn't help that you make your quotes just part of the post with little to differentiate between that and what you're saying in response, as well.

My eyes aren't working well this week, and I'm finding it really hard to follow what you're saying.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1967/87/section/1 this is the abortion law of the uk passed in 1967 it was passed for a variety of reasons but it refers to child and does not use the word fetus or person hood it was passed for a variety of reasons in 1967 if you are interested here it is hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1966/jul/22/medical-termination-of-pregnancy-bill

Referring to it as a child has no bearing on it's legal standing.

Blue, if you’re going to quote things, read them first.

s1 of the 1967 Act refers to a child only in the condition of it having been born.

S5 refers to a foetus. Foetuses, in fact.

Blue.

Put a star at the beginning and the end of the bit your quoting.

I doubt it will make anything you say sensible but it may well make it easier to work out what it actually is that you are saying.

And as stitch says, is utterly irrelevant to its legal status or rights.

surferjet
I wonder what pro choice people think of women who have multiple abortions, 3 or 4 - or even 7 or 8?
I’m sure I read somewhere that a very small percentage of women were on their 10th abortion - do you judge those women in anyway at all
Their body, their choice. No judgement from me

* sqoosh Yes. A foetus is a foetus. It makes no difference if it was conceived from rape or from consensual sex. The fact that some people can only countenance abortion in the case of rape basically proves that it's the type of sex that women are having that they're policing. Unwanted pregnancy as a result of some fun sex? You whore*
Bingo, its about punishing women who dare have sex

stitchglitched
There is only a difference if your views on abortion are about punishing women and not the right to life of the fetus
A fetus has no right to life