I don't know how I feel about abortion anymore

[sirlee66]

I've always been very pro-choice. A woman's body. A woman's right to choose.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and now I think my thoughts are changing.

I believe the cut off is 24 weeks? There was a lovely lady on here the other day whose waters broke and she gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks! If a baby can survive that early... It just seems...wrong!

Maybe the cut off could be lowered. I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

I don't know what the answer is. I still feel really strongly that ultimately, the mother should decide but I just can't get past babies surviving outside the womb at the same age as a baby that could be aborted.

Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. I also can't stop think about the poor women who have to make that decision. It must be so awful and I just want to give them a big hug.

I guess my question is, AIBU to not really know how I feel about it?

Ah so forced birth for feckless whores then, good to know your stance is clear

“The circumstances makes a bloody HUGE difference.”

Well, not if your primary concern is the foetus they don’t.

Well put stitch agree completely.

To me it doesn’t matter regarding abortion if a woman has 7 through not using contraception or a woman who has been raped

I don’t distinguish women between worthy or unworthy I just care that she has free safe access to an abortion at any age and any stage for any reason

It’s called responsibility for your actions.

We know the possible consequence of unprotected sex. So a woman needs to own that consequence.

There is also an irony in talking about rape being a violation of a woman's body when you would appear to endorse the violation of the body of a woman who hasn't been raped.

Yes and she can own that consequence by deciding for herself whether she goes through with the pregnancy or terminates the pregnancy. It's very simple.

So it’s OK to kill a baby if it’s the result of rape but not if it isn’t? Is that what you’re saying?

We know the possible consequence of unprotected sex. So a woman needs to own that consequence.

So if a woman contracted chlamydia she would just have to leave it untreated because she knew what she was risking when she had sex. Right?

Women do have consequences- they either go through a termination or endure pregnancy and childbirth. Neither is a reset button. And what of the children born to these women, used as a punishment for the crime of their mother having sex?

Of course it makes a difference to the pregnant woman whether the conception was part of consensual sex or otherwise.

But it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to the fetus.

Someone who objects to abortions because of the fetus' right to life except in the case of rape has missed the point spectacularly. As soon as you invoke a rape exception you are taking the pregnant woman's wellbeing into account over the life of the fetus, which is the entire foundation of the pro-choice position.

And when you say "consequences" you mean "punishment". I don't believe it's useful to punish women for having sex; nor do I think a child should be punished for the circumstances of its conception. Because it's the 21st century after all and I have both a brain and a heart.

Can't be arsed giving time of day to someone who truly believes women should be punished for having sex by having her bodily autonomy removed. Fuckin' hell. That's the Magdalene laundries. Entirely. And nothing but.

I don't call rape 'sexual relations'.

Hating women is exactly what it is. Why else show sympathy for women who have been violated by rape whilst at the same time advocating for a 40+ week (or potentially lifelong in the case of birth injury and pregnancy complications) violation of other women.

but if the pregnancy and childbirth was so horrific a possibility for a woman to ensure, why did she not take ownership for that and ensure protected sex?

It’s called responsibility for your actions.We know the possible consequence of unprotected sex. So a woman needs to own that consequence

What about contraception failure then? Which is much more common than just not bothering to use any. Do they need to be punished with an unwanted child as well?

but if the pregnancy and childbirth was so horrific a possibility for a woman to ensure, why did she not take ownership for that and ensure protected sex?

Same could be said for STIs. Are you saying they should all be left untreated if the sex was consensual? HIV? AIDS? Just let them be?

Because people are flawed human beings and sometimes make errors of judgement. It is also possible for contraception to fail. I've been raped and it left me with a great deal of trauma. If I accidently became pregnant through consensual sex and was denied an abortion it would make me suicidal. It would violate my body, my mind and utterly destroy me. Both are horrific violations of women but you condemn one whilst advocating another. You are an absolute hypocrite.

The BPAS has published two documents on reasons for late term abortions. They make for an interesting and heart breaking read.

this one in 2008

this one in 2017

I 100% support the right to choose and terminate at any stage for medical reasons
However when a foetus is healthy I think the limit should be lowered to somewhere between 12-20 weeks. There’s a fine line between choice and selfishness in those cases. I know all the technicalities that a foetus isn’t classed as w person etc etc before birth but I think that’s ridiculous as clearly it exists and whatever the on paper terminology is that foetus or person whatever it’s termed can survive after a certain stage and would feel pain
I’m not against abortion but I do think there needs to be a rethink. Also the provision needs to be better quicker access more counselling and if a woman is sure then a quicker appt

I can’t be bothered to argue with such ridiculous notions Blinky

As a woman, I’d have an abortion upto 24 weeks with out question, if I’d been raped, or if the baby had Down’s syndrome or any other life limiting disability - l would be relieved to no longer be pregnant in those circumstances.
However, I would not abort a healthy child conceived consensually past 12 weeks, I just wouldn’t be able to do it.
I know that makes me a hypocrite. But it’s not just about the baby with me, it would be about my ability to cope with the child.

I don't like the idea of abortions beyond 12 weeks especially when there are so many people desperate to have children - it would seem better to have more babies to put up for adoption.

I haven't made it very far in before coming across this so the discussion has likely moved on but for fucks sake!!
I've been TTC for over 5 years currently undergoing fertility tests it will likely cost us thousands to conceive we've never conceived.

We may look at adoption one day but for fucks sake how dare ANYBODY suggest that someone should be forced to carry a baby and then have it removed from them (causing all manner of issues and possibility lifelong issues for both concerned)just so someone like me can come in and play mummy?

What the fuck like?
Don't you dare use me and others like me to excuse trying to force women into having babies they do not want!

Several people have jumped on that quote and got all worked up, but I'm pretty sure the poster who said it followed up by saying that it wasjust a personal feeling and they fully supported everyone to make their won choices. so maybe you could not be quite so rude about her?