I don't know how I feel about abortion anymore

[sirlee66]

I've always been very pro-choice. A woman's body. A woman's right to choose.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and now I think my thoughts are changing.

I believe the cut off is 24 weeks? There was a lovely lady on here the other day whose waters broke and she gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks! If a baby can survive that early... It just seems...wrong!

Maybe the cut off could be lowered. I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

I don't know what the answer is. I still feel really strongly that ultimately, the mother should decide but I just can't get past babies surviving outside the womb at the same age as a baby that could be aborted.

Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. I also can't stop think about the poor women who have to make that decision. It must be so awful and I just want to give them a big hug.

I guess my question is, AIBU to not really know how I feel about it?

I think that the woman who can't grasp the fundermentals of birth control might not be best placed to raise 7-10 children. I don't think that the tiny number of women this applies to, shouldn't be used as a stick to beat the 99.9%.

other posters addict have sworn. I was referring to many posters not just you, sorry for giving that impression.
so read back and see I didn't 'make it up'.
re the multiple abortions, id wonder why the woman couldn't work out how it kept happening, that she couldn't use contraception or was coerced into pregnancy. to support her really

Whatever Addict.
Also not going to try and prove my point as you will only find other criticisms and that is just fuelling your fire. You can clearly read.
No idea about your friend. I'm not a doctor. It must have been difficult and I hope she can one day find some kind of way of living where she is in less pain.

I wonder what pro choice people think of women who have multiple abortions, 3 or 4 - or even 7 or 8?

There's clearly been a fundamental breakdown somewhere along the way; whether that's in their knowledge of contraception, their relationship with their partner(s), their emotional state etc. No-one would have 7 abortions for fun. (No-one would have 1 abortion for fun, for that matter).

Somehow I don't think forcing people in that situation to continue their pregnancy and give birth is in the best interests of anyone, least of all the woman and the potential baby.

I wonder what pro choice people think of women who have multiple abortions, 3 or 4 - or even 7 or 8

on a basic level - nothing - I don't think anything about it - it's not my business it's their choice

If you are asking for some kind of judgement - no - I imagine there are a myriad of reasons why women have multiple termination - all of them valid

do you think it would be better to force them to have babies 2-8?

That would imply that pro choice people place judgement on all abortions but we “turn a blind eye” to the first one or two for some reason. Why would we be okay about abortion no.1 but decide abortion no.7 is wrong?

This is similar to my over the rape exemption. What the fuck difference does it make to the fetus what circumstances it was conceived in? Why is the difference in morality predicated on the consent at conception rather than the life the mother and child could expect? The rape exception is only ever mooted so that people who actually secretly don't trust women with their own bodies can avoid looking like absolute arseholes. The fucking irony of only allowing a woman bodily autonomy if she's already had it stolen.

I’m not sure that babies are being able to be kept alive earlier and earlier. It’s pretty much 24 weeks and we aren’t making much of an advance on that, with the odd exception

I have more respect for those who are anti abortion in ALL circumstances, I still fundamentally disagree with them but at least they are consistent. It is those who allow certain exemptions who are making a judgement on women, whether their reason is 'worthy' enough who are the worst from my perspective because then it isn't about the sanctity of life but punishing women.

I heard from a midwife that repeat abortions are more often when women have surgical abortions than medical ones. I think abortions should always be available no matter how many are needed. I would worry about the physical and mental health of the mother at each stage, I would imagine it does start to affect women at some point. I still think they should have the option though. I think the link between breast cancer and abortion has been found to be tenuous but there are other things as well. Post abortion syndrome is said to be one but isn't a medicalised condition, just a set of symptoms some women feel afterward. That isn't to say that some women move on and never look back, and that is also ok.
I don't think anyone has a abortion lightheartedly. For every woman, there has been a consideration of things and the conclusion that for whatever reason terminating the pregnancy is the best outcome.
I do prefer the word termination to abortion though. Not sure why;
I also feel the same about 'only if you're raped' Mrs. I also don't think the fact that at 24 weeks some babies can survive with lengthy and often not entirely successful support in NICU, means that a week/month before that, a woman shouldn't be allowed to end her pregnancy.

This is similar to my confused over the rape exemption. What the fuck difference does it make to the fetus what circumstances it was conceived in?

Exactly!

I have more respect for those who are anti abortion in ALL circumstances, I still fundamentally disagree with them but at least they are consistent. It is those who allow certain exemptions who are making a judgement on women, whether their reason is 'worthy' enough who are the worst from my perspective because then it isn't about the sanctity of life but punishing women.

Very well put.

I wonder what pro choice people think of women who have multiple abortions, 3 or 4 - or even 7 or 8

I think its none of my business and I'm very glad they had access to the services they needed.
What did you expect us to say? Pro choice means just that, its not "pro-choice as long as your choices are the same as mine" or "pro choice but only if I deem you worthy enough". It means its every individuals right to choose for themselves, a hundred times if necessary.

I wonder what pro choice people think of women who have multiple abortions, 3 or 4 - or even 7 or 8
If women are that feckless about contraception then I would think it is fortunate that they have access to abortion too rather than ending up with 7 or 8 children they do not want and are quite possibly not equipped to care for.

I wonder if the same posters who clearly have a problem with 7/8/9/10 abortions are the same people who sneer at women who have 7/8/9/10 children.

What the fuck difference does it make to the fetus what circumstances it was conceived in?

Yes. A foetus is a foetus. It makes no difference if it was conceived from rape or from consensual sex. The fact that some people can only countenance abortion in the case of rape basically proves that it's the type of sex that women are having that they're policing. Unwanted pregnancy as a result of some fun sex? You whore!

If women are that feckless about contraception then I would think it is fortunate that they have access to abortion too rather than ending up with 7 or 8 children they do not want and are quite possibly not equipped to care for.

Completely agree.

“The fact that some people can only countenance abortion in the case of rape basically proves that it's the type of sex that women are having that they're policing. Unwanted pregnancy as a result of some fun sex? You whore!”

Absolutely. Very well put.

I am pro-choice, and always have been. But like the OP, I find the 24 week cut off uncomfortable., although I fully understand the situations that would lead to terminations post 20 weeks.

I think it's regarded as a 'blanket cut off', which is the issue. They have to have a late cut off for abnormalities discovered at 20 weeks but I'm not sure the option of termination should be available to unwanted pregnancies that late. So ideally should be dependent on each woman's personal circumstances.

Yes. A foetus is a foetus. It makes no difference if it was conceived from rape or from consensual sex. The fact that some people can only countenance abortion in the case of rape basically proves that it's the type of sex that women are having that they're policing. Unwanted pregnancy as a result of some fun sex? You whore!

Wtf? Thexircunshances makes a bloody HUGE difference.

A pregnancy forced upon you, actually thrust upon you violently.
Or fact that you couldn’t be arsed to sort out contraception properly.

The latter, unless serious educational needs, should not have the same abortive rights rights as the former.

Up to 24 weeks is rape
12 weeks is not

Wtf? Thexircunshances makes a bloody HUGE difference.

No difference whatsoever.

There is only a difference if your views on abortion are about punishing women and not the right to life of the fetus.

The latter, unless serious educational needs, should not have the same abortive rights rights as the former.

You mean the same bodily autonomy. So you think that a woman who has consensual sex and becomes pregnant should lose her right to bodily autonomy? Wow.