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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To shop my friend into the council?

161 replies

Nesssie · 27/02/2018 16:45

First time poster...
Not sure whether I would be doing it out of spite or not.

A 'friend' has bought a field, built a huge barn and hidden a mobile home inside it. She lives there with her partner, occasionally his child, and 5 dogs, 3 cats.

They think that if they live there for a certain period of time (10years I think) then the council have to let them build and live there. Its illegal and they don't pay council tax etc.

She has quit her job, sold her house and moved into the middle of nowhere. I think she is depressed and isolated and her only way of getting attention is to buy more and more puppies.

Despite having all the land, the dogs are kept in a tiny room and I feel really bad for them. I have tried talking to her about it but it has just led to arguments and I have chosen to end the friendship.

I also worry what would happen if they have an emergency, the mobile home is completely hidden so no one would know if there was a fire etc.

AIBU to tell the council they are living there illegally? They will eventually be found out anyway so I think is it better it happens now, rather than a couple of years down the line when they have used all their money and have no options? I really don't know how else to help her.

I know that she will assume it was me that told, but the friendship is over anyway.

OP posts:
SpiceRack · 27/02/2018 16:48

I don't think you should personally. Although the pet thing is concerning. Her doing that isn't really any of your business, if you did tell on her then surely she'd be homeless? she's quit her job already and then she'd lose her home and I wouldn't be able to live with that on my conscience. Just cut her off and leave her to it.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2018 16:48

No... they have taken pains to hide the residence. That doesn't count... read up on the man who hid his castle behind some hay bales.

They have a weird idea of the law... is the partner one of the Freeman of the Land types?

sirlee66 · 27/02/2018 16:50

I would tell the council.

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 27/02/2018 16:51

Report her to the RSPCA about the dogs if their conditions are that poor.

I wouldn't report her to the council though. Where would she live? What would she live on?

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/02/2018 16:53

Normally I would say MYOB, but I think you're right....although will probably get flayed alive for that. The thing is. .what if there IS a fire?? She wouldnt thank you for interfering, if she realised it was you, but I'm not sure I could gave that on my conscience if anything happened. Maybe ring the rspca and when they discover it, the ball will be in their court

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/02/2018 16:53

I’d report her because of the dogs welfare, but I think she needs help and this would hopefully result in it.

DeathStare · 27/02/2018 16:53

They are living in their mobile home, in their barn which is on their field. Who are they hurting? It wouldn't be my choice of abode, but each to their own. It's not causing any harm.

I'm not sure their plan will work, I'm not even sure it's illegal for them to live there. But that's not really your problem. I'd just leave them to it

Rachie1973 · 27/02/2018 16:54

I have tried talking to her about it but it has just led to arguments and I have chosen to end the friendship.

Then I'd say it's out of spite.

Wilmaflintstone2 · 27/02/2018 16:55

I agree with spice she would end up homeless.if she gets found out then so be it. But don't be the one to grass her. She has a place to live at the moment and if she's happy there then leave her be. Maybe encourage her to get some help for her mental health.

Original poster
Nesssie · 27/02/2018 16:55

I did think about RSPCA but then they would probably tell the council anyway as its obvious she is illegally living there.

I read that by fully hiding the accommodation, the land law wouldn't apply anyway. I'm sure they would get change of use planning permission anyway or even turn it into a small holding by adding some farm animals (they did have some, but sold them on)

She has just sold her house so currently has the money from that, which is why I thought now would be the ?best? time, before the money is gone and she has nowhere.

Her partner has a good job and seems to have a never ending stream of money.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2018 16:57

It's not causing any harm. It's the hoped for end result that is the main issue... just think how many SSSIs AONBs we could live in if we just chose to sneak a caravan into a shed for a decade!

Original poster
Nesssie · 27/02/2018 16:58

Its more a safety and health concern as well at the moment, especially for a young child, to be in there with not heating in this weather.

Unfortunately she doesn't think there is a problem so I can't get her to get help.

OP posts:
SpiceRack · 27/02/2018 16:58

Having money from a house sale doesn't necessarily mean she can instantly find somewhere to live once you make her homeless. I really don't think it's anything to do with you and you are doing it out of spite. If you're not friends and your friendships over then why do you care?

specialsubject · 27/02/2018 16:59

Not causing any harm, eh? Wonder where their sewage goes...

Still, sod the dogs. Unless you live downwind and in earshot which will not be fun.

People who think laws are for other people are pretty low.

Wilmaflintstone2 · 27/02/2018 17:00

I have tried talking to her about it but it has just led to arguments and I have chosen to end the friendship

Then I'd say it's out of spite

Sorry I had not seen the above. I agree it would be out of spite. I really hope you don't do it.

Littlecaf · 27/02/2018 17:01

Yes, shop them. It needs planning permission and they need to pay council tax. Why should they not have to live by the same rules as the rest of us?

Taylor22 · 27/02/2018 17:02

I'd start with the RSPCA and see if anything happens.

OnionKnight · 27/02/2018 17:04

I'd dob them in, everyone should be paying taxes etc plus they are hiding the mobile home.

Original poster
Nesssie · 27/02/2018 17:04

Its something I've been thinking about for a while, before I distanced myself and I really don't know ether I'm doing out of concern or spite (or both).
I don't want to 'ruin her life' or make her homeless, but it is inevitable and I just think sooner rather than later?

And the fact that it is illegal, not paying council tax, no waste or sewage disposal etc.

My head is in such a spin and I keep thinking about the dogs locked in the room all day.

OP posts:
SpiceRack · 27/02/2018 17:07

It may be inevitable but you're not doing out of the goodness of your heart and because you care about her so much. She's not your friend and it really is nothing to do with you.

specialsubject · 27/02/2018 17:08

Yes, because we should all let above the law types release sewage.

Dirty freeloading skanks. Report.

Kikashi · 27/02/2018 17:10

I'm not sure that it is illegal to stay in a mobile home on your land - she's not secretly building a residential home inside the barn is she? My concern would be the welfare of the animals - you could consider reporting that.

Blinkyblink · 27/02/2018 17:11

More importantly, no child should be in that environment.

Thequeenisdeadboys · 27/02/2018 17:11

All I'm interested in is the dogs! 5 dogs and poss more to come kept in a restricted space ! ...That is wrong and someone should be alerted about this alone. If it's their land then fair enough re living choices for themselves.But, the DOGS !!! Angry

Justanotherzombie · 27/02/2018 17:12

I think you really want to be all righteous about this. So go ahead and make someone else's life miserable and possibly frightening. You know that awful feeling when something bad has happened and the rug has been pulled from under you? That's what you'd be doing to someone else. I personally couldn't.

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