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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To shop my friend into the council?

161 replies

Nesssie · 27/02/2018 16:45

First time poster...
Not sure whether I would be doing it out of spite or not.

A 'friend' has bought a field, built a huge barn and hidden a mobile home inside it. She lives there with her partner, occasionally his child, and 5 dogs, 3 cats.

They think that if they live there for a certain period of time (10years I think) then the council have to let them build and live there. Its illegal and they don't pay council tax etc.

She has quit her job, sold her house and moved into the middle of nowhere. I think she is depressed and isolated and her only way of getting attention is to buy more and more puppies.

Despite having all the land, the dogs are kept in a tiny room and I feel really bad for them. I have tried talking to her about it but it has just led to arguments and I have chosen to end the friendship.

I also worry what would happen if they have an emergency, the mobile home is completely hidden so no one would know if there was a fire etc.

AIBU to tell the council they are living there illegally? They will eventually be found out anyway so I think is it better it happens now, rather than a couple of years down the line when they have used all their money and have no options? I really don't know how else to help her.

I know that she will assume it was me that told, but the friendship is over anyway.

OP posts:
Emmageddon · 27/02/2018 17:12

What are they doing about sewage disposal? And the poor dogs - let the RSPCA do their stuff.

TheQueef · 27/02/2018 17:12

If the dog's are being mistreated rather than just living unorthodox then RSPCA.
As this is AIBU and your first post is about grassing on your friend I'm sure you are ready to be told
YABU, it is fuck all to do with you and you are afraid they will get an edge on you. Don't try to hide it behind concern for safety, you are showing what kind of friend you are and its ugly.

Missingstreetlife · 27/02/2018 17:14

Report about animals and children. Not the housing stuff

Taylor22 · 27/02/2018 17:17

I think you really want to be all righteous about this. So go ahead and make someone else's life miserable and possibly frightening. You know that awful feeling when something bad has happened and the rug has been pulled from under you? That's what you'd be doing to someone else. I personally couldn't.

When exactly are people going to start being held accountable for their own shitty decisions?
Anything bad that comes from this is down to that woman and her partner. Nobody else.
So if she feels bad. It's because she made shit decisions and now needs to sort her own life out.

GrannyGrissle · 27/02/2018 17:20

I know of 3 people doing this all within a 10 mile radius of each other. I therefore imagine it must be pretty common. One of them (Ex-Dp Grin ) was hassled by the council heaps but they eventually gave up Under resourced/couldn't give a fuck?

chocolateworshipper · 27/02/2018 17:22

I would report them to the RSPCA as the welfare of the dogs is a genuine concern. If the RSPCA report them to the council, so be it.

Rachie1973 · 27/02/2018 17:22

Many people live in mobile homes and caravans with children. There are more ways to remove human waste than simply a house sewerage system.

The dogs.... well that's different. Perhaps they were in a room whilst you visited? Maybe they were let out afterwards? You said yourself OP that you withdrew, so you really don't have any idea how they're being treated now. If worried, call the RSPCA, let them decide.

Don't pretend you're all concerned though, it's spite, plain and simple. That's fine if you want to hurt and irritate her. Don't dress it up though.

JaneEyre70 · 27/02/2018 17:23

They just need to declare themselves as travellers OP and the law won't apply to them/council will back off in terror.

But do report to the RSPCA. There is no excuse for keeping animals in poor conditions.

AlpacaLypse · 27/02/2018 17:24

OP I think I would be very torn too about this, trying to work out whether I am acting out of spite or out of public concern.

It does sound like a very unsatisfactory situation for the dogs and for the child.

Also I'm not a massive fan of people attempting to wriggle past the planning laws, especially those designed to protect the countryside.

I'd send a note to the planning department and leave them to it.

Sadly the RSPCA's notions of what is unsuitable for dogs and what most responsible dog owners would consider unsuitable conditions for dogs is not always the same, but report anyway.

specialsubject · 27/02/2018 17:24

Btw I note the supporters on this thread are doing what shelter does - advice but no practical help. No offering of gardens, or even to pay for them to move to a hook up in a caravan site.

The woman has made her bed.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2018 17:25

Many people live in mobile homes and caravans with children Having lived in one for a few years as a kid, I know this.

But our caravan wasn't hidden and there was no intention to try using long term residency to flout building regulations (though I think they have misunderstood the regs).

Why are so many people supporting a couple who have chosen to live outside with the stated intention to do something that is illegal?
Weird!

Rumpledfaceskin · 27/02/2018 17:25

Sorry if this is stupid but which law does it break if she owns the field? If it’s a mobile home surely it’s not a planning law? I know a fair few traveller types who live in busses and caravans that are static in fields and it’s never occurred to me that it’s breaking a law.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/02/2018 17:27

It isn't uncommon for people to live in a caravan/mobile home, within a barn. Some do end up with planning permission.
The dogs are another matter, and need reporting, so crack on and do it.
How you're 'friend' chooses to live, is not your business.

fia101 · 27/02/2018 17:29

Two big Planning cases in last few years where houses were hidden behind bales of hay or a pretend barn. 10 year immunity didn't work as 1 it is deception 2 completion only took place when ie bales of hay removed to reveal house so 10 year period only started from then.

Original poster
Nesssie · 27/02/2018 17:29

If I wanted to be righteous I would just tell on them.
Half of me thinks I need to just step away and leave them to it, but I keep thinking about the dogs. The only time they got out was when I was there and let them.

It’s not the living in a caravan part that bothers me, it’s the fire risk. When we went out for lunch together a couple of months ago she left candles burning in the caravan with all her dogs etc. The caravan is completely hidden and so no one would ring 999 etc.

I still really care for her but can’t support her decision.

I need to think long and hard and hope that someone else reports her first.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/02/2018 17:30

I could be wildly wrong, but I. don't think you running clactailing to the council will help her depression.

specialsubject · 27/02/2018 17:30

In England you can't do this, homes need planning permission.

Of course travellers will travel and won't stay long...

Free spirits. Or ' annoying arse to the rest of us.

Littlecaf · 27/02/2018 17:31

It’s change of use of the land from agricultural to resident plus the erection of a static caravan (unless they are moving it every week). It needs planning permission. The point of planning regulations is to release land for its best use. If it’s in an unsustainable location, no water, drainage, electricity, plus was previously used for agricultural and is in the middle of the countryside it’s in everyone’s best interest they are moved.

SilverySurfer · 27/02/2018 17:32

I would report to the Council and the RSPCA. YANBU OP.

Notasunnybunny · 27/02/2018 17:34

Did she get planning permission for the barn?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/02/2018 17:34

You don't have to support her decision. You don't have to play any part in it. I know people who are up to all kinds thst I don't particularly agree with. However it's none of my business. I just turn a deaf ear and blind eye.
I mean you're her friend and you're planning on reporting her. Its certainly true that you should never tell anyone anything because you can't trust them, not even your best friend.

crimsonlake · 27/02/2018 17:37

You are doing it out of sheer spite. You say 'sooner or later...', well let it be later and let it not be you.

Mrsmadevans · 27/02/2018 17:37

PM me the details. l will dob her in....for the sake of those poor animals .

gamerchick · 27/02/2018 17:38

Poor kid.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2018 17:38

Report her to the Council, the police and the RSPCA. And social services.