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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To shop my friend into the council?

161 replies

Nesssie · 27/02/2018 16:45

First time poster...
Not sure whether I would be doing it out of spite or not.

A 'friend' has bought a field, built a huge barn and hidden a mobile home inside it. She lives there with her partner, occasionally his child, and 5 dogs, 3 cats.

They think that if they live there for a certain period of time (10years I think) then the council have to let them build and live there. Its illegal and they don't pay council tax etc.

She has quit her job, sold her house and moved into the middle of nowhere. I think she is depressed and isolated and her only way of getting attention is to buy more and more puppies.

Despite having all the land, the dogs are kept in a tiny room and I feel really bad for them. I have tried talking to her about it but it has just led to arguments and I have chosen to end the friendship.

I also worry what would happen if they have an emergency, the mobile home is completely hidden so no one would know if there was a fire etc.

AIBU to tell the council they are living there illegally? They will eventually be found out anyway so I think is it better it happens now, rather than a couple of years down the line when they have used all their money and have no options? I really don't know how else to help her.

I know that she will assume it was me that told, but the friendship is over anyway.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/02/2018 07:15

How old is the child?

NewYearNewMe18 · 28/02/2018 07:19

The land is private, they can live in a caravan if they so choose, in a barn etc , its not a permanent dwelling .

Although why do you want to shop her? you dont sound much of a friend TBH

EllieMe · 28/02/2018 07:37

Sooner or later someone is going to see what's going on and she will be reported. The sooner the better for the sake of the child I would say.How would you feel if there was a fire?

Branleuse · 28/02/2018 07:49

i wouldnt be ok with someone reporting something like this at all.

If someone is actually hurting or damaging others then yeah, we have a certain duty to report to the authorities.

Someone trying to live their life privately and out of sight might be a crime, but its a victimless crime.

We as a society have really turned into 1984.

Rumpledfaceskin · 28/02/2018 08:05

I also think you’d be surprised at how little the council might actually give a shit. Last year a relative of mine bought an old cottage in a residential area in a village as a doer upper to sell on. They built a kitchen extension without planning (got retrospective in the end). They also dismantled and crushed up a massive concrete asbestos garage that was in the garden in the middle of the night and buried it in the garden. Totally illegal, it means that the site should be labelled as a toxic waste site. I was in a quandary for ages as to whether to report them but I decided to as I couldn’t help thinking of the family that would be moving in, the fact that they would be unwittingly living on toxic waste, or the fact that it was likely that it could be unearthed easily by putting in a patio/building another extension. The council couldn’t have cared less. No one investigated. Other neighbours also had same concerns and reported several issues. I figured they just didn’t have the resources to investigate?!

GnotherGnu · 28/02/2018 08:05

go ahead and make someone else's life miserable and possibly frightening

It sounds like it already is.

Send her copies of the newspaper reports that demonstrate that this idea simply won't work. She's going through all this subterfuge etc for nothing.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 28/02/2018 08:14

The fire risk is very concerning, particularly as there is a child here not to mention dogs. I would be reporting on them just for that reason regardless of the legality or not of how they are living.

Sometimes you cannot turn a blind eye and especially not if there is a child's safety at risk.

specialsubject · 28/02/2018 09:56

No crime is victimless. Not paying council tax = fewer resources for the rest of us. Discharging sewage - damage to land and water, will cause problems for someone else.

They are skanks. And stupid skanks to boot.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 28/02/2018 10:22

You clearly don’t like her so you may as well report. You keep saying your concerns are the dogs but I wonder how much of that situation you are over exaggerating, I say this because you would rather report them than the dogs, which is odd. Report for the dogs and the land issues if you want, why you are here for validation I don’t get though. The candles were a mistake and I’m annoyed on behalf of this woman that you would try and lie about it and make it seem deliberate.

TheInvisiblePieceofShit · 28/02/2018 10:25

She's not your friend is she?

At least I fucking hope not.

beepthemeep · 28/02/2018 10:30

I'm no planning lawyer but I don't think the mobile home would help anyway (possibly with change of use) as it's the actual structure that needs to be there. So is she planning on living in a mobile home forever?

YANBU. People who don't follow the law or pay their way in taxes are grim. Presumably she's still using services like schools, police etc. Funny how some people are so quick to scream that higher rate tax payers should pay more - but to say you should let this sort of thing fly under the radar!

SomeKnobend · 28/02/2018 13:10

It's only 4 years they need to be there, but they might be better off checking if there's already permitted development to convert the barn. I'd ring the council, you might save her 4 years of totally unnecessary suffering in shitty accommodation - not to mention the poor dogs and child.

DGRossetti · 28/02/2018 13:44

The point of planning regulations is to release land for its best use.

Best for who ? Developers, or people needing houses ?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/02/2018 13:46

Often neither of those 2 groups, there are other options! Like the environment in general, farmers, flood management, etc etc etc!

Lucisky · 28/02/2018 13:53

What would concern me is CO poisoning. You say they have no heating (how? In this weather?) But surely they are cooking with gas. If they are in a caravan within another building, there must be a build up of fumes. It sounds a horrible way to live for adults, but to subject a child to it as well is not good, in fact it's terrible. It must be so gloomy looking out of you windows at the inside of a dark barn. It's completely barmy.
I think if it were me, I would point out all my concerns to this person, and then step well away.

Dcdfcdfc · 28/02/2018 13:55

Blimey a lot of posters are ok with people choosing not to pay council tax. Don’t you realise that it’s not an opt in type of thing. 🙄. I’d report her and not give it a moments thought. Your motivation for reporting is irrelevant. It’s not ok to defraud the council. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably all the posters that do think it’s ok to defraud the council never complain about their local services.

BlurryFace · 28/02/2018 13:57

Wait a minute, what about this kid? I take it they live with their mother most of the time?

Does the mother know that when she sends the kid to see dad they are staying in a mobile home in a barn with poor sanitation and 5 dogs crammed in that aren't allowed out and therefore have a lot of pent up energy and are therefore more likely to act out?

Because I would not be happy if I was the mum.

Myheartbelongsto · 28/02/2018 14:19

Sounds like you're jealous she has a wad of cash from her house sale!

bigupapple · 28/02/2018 17:04

What's it got to do with you, sounds like she's better off without you as a friend , maybe that's why she's run off to live a quieter life! I think your jealous and it's spiteful!

kazillionaire · 28/02/2018 19:06

I second the worry about fire, or even an ambulance if needed locating them. I think they are just being incredibly silly and they need to be reported. Its -9 here tonight and you say they have no heating? That speaks volumes about them. Get on the phone to the council and the RSPCA.

WunWun · 28/02/2018 19:15

Does she let them out to go to the toilet?

Is the barn secure? Why can't they go out there if So?

DalekDalekDalek · 28/02/2018 19:16

What would happen if everyone just stopped paying their council tax?

WunWun · 28/02/2018 19:16

I don't mean go to the toilet out there, just be out there in general. Not all night, but during the day.

Bugaboohelp · 28/02/2018 19:27

She should pay council tax like the rest of us. Report the lying cow

NapQueen · 28/02/2018 19:30

Is it an illegal puppy farm?