To think this engagement is a farce?

[SweeetHomeAlabama]

I’ve name changed for this to prevent outing myself.

My BIL met a girl with a daughter and fell in love. By all accounts they’re very happy. The girl has a son (we’ll call him James) from a previous relationship and they waited a good 6 months before introducing james to BIL. James’ real dad has been a major let down and within weeks of James meeting BIL, he gave him a Father’s Day card. He was calling him Dad in no time. BIL is fairly well off and his girlfriend didn’t have much before so now plasters every single thing they have/buy all over Facebook. BIL was visiting us yesterday and told us he plans to propose to his girlfriend. We asked if he thought they’d get married soon, he told us “No, she just wants her ring, she’s not too fussed about the marriage bit”.

I have to say, I really don’t understand the point in getting engaged just to have a ring. No doubt it’s so she can show it off on social media. I quite liked her when I first met her but I’m just unsure of her intentions now I suppose. She seems happy but I think that happiness might purely be because she has more money and a Dad for her child, rather than for actually being in love.

Not really my business I suppose but just wanted to vent a bit really. Her bragging does wear me down at times.

Oh dear, this has gone a bit off track since I posted earlier today.

Fucked if I care.

But you do.

Did your denigrating, insulting, rude posts get deleted? Oh diddums.

Mumsnet Mafia. How funny. Ivy in her wingbacked chair is the Godfather. Don't mess with the Boss.

So op, you said in your first post. The child was a son and daughter then confirmed it was a son and you are sleep deprived. Now just said "the child lose out a second time round with her male role model" make your mind up!

user1490607838.

So much for free fucking speech eh?

Fucking mumsnet mafia.

Careful there User, you're sounding a bit lower class.

Oh and btw, my degree is English Literature, which I finished whilst pregnant with my 1st child after meeting his milkman dad (yup, I married the milkman) about 8 months earlier.

We got married between our 3rd and 4th children some years later.

He was from a busy inner city area, I originate from a rather 'naice' part of the New Forest.

My late Nan once told me it was 'common' to have 4 children though, so I get that people have sad and preconceived ideas.

Also pregnant, engaged, married with a 3mo within the year 😁 ...with a 5yr old from a previous relationship!

Just maybe she has had a shit start to adulthood as a single mother with last partner not much cop that she is so happy to be with someone who cares for her and treats her and her daughter/son so well. Maybe she takes delight in every single thing she is given.

You could make friends with her and nicely say tone it down or some people will be jealous.

I think she will want to be married and bless your BIL he doesn't have much of a clue.

My late Nan once told me it was 'common' to have 4 children though, so I get that people have sad and preconceived ideas

Like the Queen?

It used to be thought so, apparently. A boy and girl were considered a Gentleman's family.

It's so shocking, these lower class people having children without marriage. Like India Hicks, daughter of Lady Pamela Hicks and granddaughter of Earl Mountbatten, with four children and an unmarried partner. Also, Marina Ogilvy, daughter of Princess Alexandra, and several months pregnant on her wedding day. Both in line to the UK throne. Or how about Princess Stephanie of Monaco who had two children before marrying their father and another where she never married that father?

So lower working class. Really proves the point.

Actually I'm no snob.
Just observations that this woman is encouraging her child to call someone daddy who has only just met him and who she has only known for 6 months
Not against fast marriage and pregnancy so much, and Diana and Charles are hardly acting impulsively. It was an arranged marriage, as per aristocratic norms
I strongly disagree with encouraging children to call any man you just met 'dad' and I would feel the same way as OP if it were my brother. Less bothered for a BIL though.