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Original poster

To think this engagement is a farce?

136 replies

SweeetHomeAlabama · 27/02/2018 11:55

I’ve name changed for this to prevent outing myself.

My BIL met a girl with a daughter and fell in love. By all accounts they’re very happy. The girl has a son (we’ll call him James) from a previous relationship and they waited a good 6 months before introducing james to BIL. James’ real dad has been a major let down and within weeks of James meeting BIL, he gave him a Father’s Day card. He was calling him Dad in no time. BIL is fairly well off and his girlfriend didn’t have much before so now plasters every single thing they have/buy all over Facebook. BIL was visiting us yesterday and told us he plans to propose to his girlfriend. We asked if he thought they’d get married soon, he told us “No, she just wants her ring, she’s not too fussed about the marriage bit”.

I have to say, I really don’t understand the point in getting engaged just to have a ring. No doubt it’s so she can show it off on social media. I quite liked her when I first met her but I’m just unsure of her intentions now I suppose. She seems happy but I think that happiness might purely be because she has more money and a Dad for her child, rather than for actually being in love.

Not really my business I suppose but just wanted to vent a bit really. Her bragging does wear me down at times.

OP posts:
MrPan · 27/02/2018 13:30

not sure who is nuttier - OP or user/star......am due back on planet Earth. Thanks for the weird trip.

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:30

You don't get to call people NUTTERS just because they have different views to you @VladimirsPoutin.

Makes you look a bit silly.

Elocutioner · 27/02/2018 13:30

legal standing

definition, please.

Elocutioner · 27/02/2018 13:31

You can call them nutters if their views are nuts

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/02/2018 13:31

I agree with Vlad's post. Anybody who posts like Gemini69 did deserves to be pulled up on it. "calculating little fish...". That's pathetic.

starlightafar · 27/02/2018 13:31

By whom Mr Pan?
Weber? Marx? Parsons?
Why are you on a woman's -sorry mum's- site again? Grin
I'm sure you got an A* for yours

HotCrossBunFight · 27/02/2018 13:31

She sounds very materialistic. It's not a trait I like in people but if it doesn't bother your BIL it's not necessarily a problem. Doesn't mean she's a gold digger.
Getting engaged for a ring is a bit naff though.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/02/2018 13:32

... and yes, the NUTTERS are out in force on this and many other threads.

Thistlebelle · 27/02/2018 13:33

So, to simplify- you don’t like your BIL’s fiancé.

That’s ok, you don’t have to like her. BIL likes her.

You also don’t have to spend time with her. You are an adult, make your own choices about who you spend time with.

Speak to your DH, explain the problem and together work out a way that he can still see his brother without you having to put up with her too often.

I really don’t see a problem with the ring particularly. Surely she flashes it, you politely say “isn’t that lovely, congratulations” and then chat about something else.

Just scroll past her Facebook.

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:33

not sure who is nuttier - OP or user/star......am due back on planet Earth. Thanks for the weird trip.

@MrPan Are you trying to imply I am posting under my name here AND the name @starlightafar?

That is called TROLL HUNTING and is against the rules.

As is calling someone a nutter.

Oh dear dear me. Wink

And it shows you have lost the argument when you issue personal attacks and call people nutters and trolls.

Shame.

starlightafar · 27/02/2018 13:35

Happy for MNHQ to confirm I am not user 1490607838
Perhaps it's hard to believe that two women are able to hold consistent views despite being criticised by a man Grin

SleepFreeZone · 27/02/2018 13:37

I’m out. Too many people having conversations with themselves on this thread Confused

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Elocutioner · 27/02/2018 13:39

Yeah you do. It's called free speech.

Just because you use capitals doesn't make you RIGHT

Bluelady · 27/02/2018 13:39

User, your post exceeds everything else in the wanky stakes.

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:39

People calling other posters NUTTERS purely for having views they don't like really are making themselves look incredibly ignorant, narrow-minded, and silly!

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:40

Oh so YOU lot who disagree with me are allowed FREE SPEECH, but when I give MY views, I am a fucking nutter?!

Grow the fuck up - all of you.

VladmirsPoutine · 27/02/2018 13:40

@user1490607838 Why are you continuing to derail the thread? Start your own thread about those lowly working classes getting pregnant before even knowing their partner's first name or whatever.

Elocutioner · 27/02/2018 13:41

The nutters are going nuts.

MN may disappear up its own poonani in a small cloud of smoke

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 13:42

@sleepfreezone

Bore off with the accusations of me posting under different names.

Troll hunting is AGAINST THE RULES.

Tara336 · 27/02/2018 13:42

It’s pretty tacky bragging about possessions (especially when you didn’t pay for them) but some people with low self esteem use material things too boost their confidence. Ie if I have this fancy car, ring etc then people will see me differently. I’ve witnessed people bragging about their Rolex on FB (fake) because in their heads people will be impressed. They are too daft to see people rolling their eyes. Maybe she feels in awe of you as you said you have money and sh3 just wants to fit in?

blackteasplease · 27/02/2018 13:42

Just ignoring the bun fight.

It doesn't sound like anything you can't completely ignore OP. Nothing to do with you.

It is pointless to say you're engaged with no plans to.marry but people do pointless things all the time. If I were her I'd want to get married for security though.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/02/2018 13:44

I find your views sneery Star and what exactly is your point in reference to this thread? That the girlfriend here is obviously not just working class but lower working class (shudder) so of course she wants to get engaged, she clearly has no other aspirations?

Stop attributing her behaviour to dated notions of a rigid British class system. It's a weird tangent.

And no I'm not "huffing" because I got engaged and pregnant at a young age. I'm from the era where poorer school leavers could go to university and get a degree without having to pay thousands for fees.
I just hate snobbery.

TheJoyOfSox · 27/02/2018 13:49

You sound petty and bitter op. I tend to find the engagements where a ring was purchased a decade or so ago and no wedding plans are in place yet to be more of a farce myself. How does your BIL’s relationship affect you? and don’t say “it doesn’t” as it blatantly does.

mimibunz · 27/02/2018 13:50

Sounds like she is massively insecure but thrilled she has found a lovely man to treat her well and give her and her son a nice life. I hate all that 'princess' stuff too - my sister does it and eats up all the compliments she gets. Ugh. Really though, all that matters is that she is a good mum to her boy.