To try and stop DP getting a tattoo?

[LittleMe03]

DP has decided he wants a tattoo on his neck. He already has two full arms done and tattoos on both legs and one on his back. He has got all these tattoos done in the last 10 years that we have been together.

I am not a big fan of tattoos but always had the attitude that it was his body and his choice, and also they can be covered.

Last night he told me he wants one on his neck and when showing me the size and design he wants I was shocked, it covers almost one side of his neck. I told him I was really against it and begged him not to do it and he said i was BU for going back on what I've said previously about his body, his choice.

I like the fact that all his tattoos can be covered at the moment. The job he is in doesn't appear to have any sort of policy on tattoos but he is asked to wear long sleeve shirts to work.

AIBU, should I just leave him to do it or keep nagging?

employer frothing - love it 😁

I employ 5000000000 people and I know DONS (not smelly old lecturers) and I won't stand for it RARGH

I have hand tattoos and neck and a head tattoo and I work in an HQ of a global bank.

What role?

Not being daft, but you're more likely to be pushing a mop than carrying out face to face negotiations with the House of Saud......

I won't stand for it RARGH

As per above, I don' t have to stand for it - my employer has taste!!

But they all have loads of tats Illustrious

The Sultan of Brunei has a full back version
of Iron Maiden's 'Eddie The Head'- tch if YOU were so important on the international stage you would know that 🙄

He needs to check with his employer but he also needs to think about what would happen if he needed to find a new job in the future. A neck tattoo is likely to limit his options.

I say this as someone with tattoos.

The Sultan of Brunei has a full back version of Iron Maiden's 'Eddie The Head'- tch if YOU were so important on the international stage you would know that

I had him down as more of a Metallica type myself.....

This is the only thing I'd find acceptable - at a push! And I LOVE tattoos (I have 10 and many more planned)

This is very similar to what DP is contemplating...

But further down, so on his neck not the side of his head, but that sort of style and size

Reminds me of Cheryl Cole's bum.

You can tell him you do respect his body his choice however

As it affects your family finances, in two ways
1 the initial cost of the tattoo
2 the fact it may stop him getting jobs in the future that would definitely affect his family financially

That he needs to prioritise, essentially his ego/vanity versus his responsibilities as a father and shared duties in financially supporting you guys.

I am personally very stern with my man about finances and if either of us wants non-essentials it has to come out of designated money that it set aside from the 'house money'
(I give him absolute freedom of choice over what he spends his designated money on though )

I don't think your being unreasonable considering the money side of things and he left you short of money last time he got a tattoo. And he should totally understand that.

The 'business' is over 300 years old.

As are its views

Must be doing something right though, eh?

My role involves a lot of public speaking (including in universities), I represent my company in Parliament and I deal personally with our CEO.

But 'pushing a mop' isn't beneath me or many other hard working people.

Is it reasonable to require making eye contact as a core part of a role? Not very disability-friendly is it.

All this celebrity neck tattooing has encouraged easily influenced young sheeple to think it's a cool and trendy thing to do. But the celebrities they are trying to emulate will never have to interview for a job.They are already in the public eye and will go to all lengths to stay there. And those sheeple will buy the mags and buy into it, and get their necks tattooed likewise. Copying their idols. They must be doing that because it wasn't a thing 10 years ago in the UK. Now it is, after that bloke on big brother had a rather overwhelmingly large one. Now every easily influenced young person wants to look the same, cos they perceive it as being cool and edgy.

Whereas, most normal folk think it just looks a bit daft and attention seeking.

All these peeps who claim they have a high end public facing job as a bank manager/systems analyst/co-op till operative with a full neck tattoo are talking bollocks

I think the lower arms bit is incorrect because you can just wear long sleeves but otherwise this chart pretty much nails it.

When I see people with neck and hand tats I usually wonder how long they were in prison...because I haven't met many with tats in those locations who didn't go to prison at some point.

@LeighaJ that is really judgmental

Judgements can often be right on the button.

That graph was obviously drawn by someone who hates tattoos.

@LeighaJ - ha ha. Love it.

@pinkyredrose - or someone with a job who understands these things.

Yes ok

Neck tattoos were most certainly a thing 10 years ago, maybe not in knitting club but I've worked for a Bank for 8 years and there were people there with them then!

I can promise you I'm customer and client facing and nobody has ever commented. The last time someone said anything about my appearance was in 1998 when I worked in a slipper shop and an old lady told me my lip piercing looked nice.

Don't fool yourselves into thinking this sort of judgement is any different - it's still just social conditioning BS and based on outdated ideas.

But 'pushing a mop' isn't beneath me or many other hard working people.

Not saying it's beneath anyone, but I wouldn't want my career options limited to it and similar roles just because I made a dodge choice with regards to a bit of decoration.....

I don't think that it will though, unless they're looking for a reason not to employ you because you're not quite up to par. It's never ever been mentioned to me as a negative, in fact many recruiters are now recognising that we need more diversity and creativity in corporate workplaces, and changing the way they assess skills to widen their nets.