To try and stop DP getting a tattoo?

[LittleMe03]

DP has decided he wants a tattoo on his neck. He already has two full arms done and tattoos on both legs and one on his back. He has got all these tattoos done in the last 10 years that we have been together.

I am not a big fan of tattoos but always had the attitude that it was his body and his choice, and also they can be covered.

Last night he told me he wants one on his neck and when showing me the size and design he wants I was shocked, it covers almost one side of his neck. I told him I was really against it and begged him not to do it and he said i was BU for going back on what I've said previously about his body, his choice.

I like the fact that all his tattoos can be covered at the moment. The job he is in doesn't appear to have any sort of policy on tattoos but he is asked to wear long sleeve shirts to work.

AIBU, should I just leave him to do it or keep nagging?

And with a neck tattoo we'll all be making judgements as to what sort of adult

This is the best comment on the thread. You sound like a looney tune from the 50s!

YADNBU. The risk is he will limit his job chances and also spend money he can't afford. Plus you may not find this attractive.

These three things seem to matter less to him than trying a tattoo. None of that is appealing. What happens next? Where does the next one go?

You can't stop him, it is his body, but it is a shame he doesn't seem to care how you feel.

Getting a neck tattoo not trying a tattoo.

YADNBU. You’ve compromised with all the other tattoos (and that’s extremey generous because I and many others wouldn’t have) and you shouldn’t have to with this one.

There’s no need for him to get this tattoo; he has many others. He just wants to, and knowing you don’t like them he’s being extremely selfish (not to mention limiting his career choices).

@IllustriouslyIllogical so when you see a person with a tattooed neck what sort of person do you assume them to be?

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, not everyone needs to see it.

@ohfortuna

I know you didn't address the question to me but I've some good ideas;

• gang banger
• drug dealer
• career criminal
• moron
• thug
• drug-dependent
• tatooist
• bouncer at a dodgy bar
• UFC fighter
• unemployable

I see someone who is going to severely restrict his future employment opportunities, and doesn't care.

What industry does he work in?

YA NOT BU !! Infact I think you have very reasonable up to now considering you don't like them, you have overlooked that fact because you know your DP wanted tattoos. It's called give and take. Your DP is being unreasonable and selfish for discounting your opinion and (cheaply imo) throwing back at you what you previously said. If you don't like the idea of one showing on his neck then he should be listening to that, discussing it like an adult and trying to come to a decision that you are both happy with.

Another thing, you will have to look at it far far more than he does (unless he's Narcissus)!

He sounds selfish and irresponsible not for getting a neck tattoo but for his attitude in general. It’s all about him isn’t it, you’re expected to make up the financial shortfall his selfishness creates and I’m guessing he’s going to apply the same thinking to his boss, i.e he’ll expect his boss to let it go or to come up with a work around which he’ll no doubt bitch about.

I don’t see much to laugh about being married to such an arse.

7even you forgot Premier league footballer

@7even

I'd be really interested to know which generation you belong to.

My generation are covered in tattoos, it's really not an indication of a gang banger. Unless my little sister with her neck tattoo isn't telling me something. She's a financial business manager person and it's never been an issue for her.

I lecture part time with 11 tattoos and a facial piercing. Things aren't like they used to be

Hi all, had another chat with DP this evening and he has told me that it isn't something he would rush into doing (as he did the others) he understands why I am against the idea and after reading others posts I mentioned to him that in the future it may not be acceptable in other employments. I also spoke to him about the money side to it.

He has promised me he will think about it and will save the money for several months before considering it.

It's been interesting to read all the replies and opinions and it did help me to word my conversation with him tonight. So thank you

@ohfortuna
Just want to say a big thanks to you because your posts have been really helpful

Neck tattoos are yuck. He will forever be judged.

@ohfortuna Just want to say a big thanks to you because your posts have been really helpful
Nice of you to say:o...but are you sure you dont mean another poster rather than me...I dont think I've said all that much.

For the record I have a lot of skin in this game, I am well aware that visible tattoo's attract disapproval, even if it doesnt affect your job prospects there may be times when it's just not in your interests to be so 'visible'

Also I have begun to wonder about the consequences for your immune system of being heavily tattooed

gang banger
say what!!??

I doubt that anything you say will make any difference but obviously he doesn't get to tell you what to do with your body either

I would be concerned about a job stopping tattoo but I think that in many cases tattoos don't have the job stopping potential that they used to have

But leaving you short of money to get a tattoo..... that's not good is it

So he's spending money that he hasn't got on a large tattoo which could put his job in jeopardy?
Perhaps he really wants to be a single man with no ties and responsibilities?

@IllustriouslyIllogical so when you see a person with a tattooed neck what sort of person do you assume them to be?

Yes. Short, honest answers that appear to understand both sides of the story. Much appreciated

If it would make your attraction to him lessen then I think it’s quite selfish of him not to consider that tbh.

I stand corrected then Little
I am well versed in this area it's true

I have tattoos and have always stuck with the mantra
" Keep them where the judge won't see".
Many things have changed, but not the applicability of that phrase.

If it would make your attraction to him lessen then I think it’s quite selfish of him not to consider that tbh.

Would you say the same thing if this was reversed and a woman posted on here saying "I really want to get a hair cut but my husband is saying he'll be angry and won't be as attracted to me if I do it"? Highly doubt that.

Absolutely love the association of gang banger and drug-dependent to having tattoos 7. Please keep posting, your views are highly entertaining

Would you say the same thing if this was reversed and a woman posted on here saying "I really want to get a hair cut but my husband is saying he'll be angry and won't be as attracted to me if I do it"?

Hair grows. A tattoo is for life.

(and yes, I am of the generation that generally hates them)

You can hate them without being a bigot or ignorant. Suggesting someone is a bad person because they have a tattoo is mind blowing.