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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try and stop DP getting a tattoo?

150 replies

LittleMe03 · 27/02/2018 10:15

DP has decided he wants a tattoo on his neck. He already has two full arms done and tattoos on both legs and one on his back. He has got all these tattoos done in the last 10 years that we have been together.

I am not a big fan of tattoos but always had the attitude that it was his body and his choice, and also they can be covered.

Last night he told me he wants one on his neck and when showing me the size and design he wants I was shocked, it covers almost one side of his neck. I told him I was really against it and begged him not to do it and he said i was BU for going back on what I've said previously about his body, his choice.

I like the fact that all his tattoos can be covered at the moment. The job he is in doesn't appear to have any sort of policy on tattoos but he is asked to wear long sleeve shirts to work.

AIBU, should I just leave him to do it or keep nagging?Grin

OP posts:
ohfortuna · 27/02/2018 10:50

So he's spending money that he hasn't got on a large tattoo which could put his job in jeopardy?
Perhaps he really wants to be a single man with no ties and responsibilities?

JacquesHammer · 27/02/2018 10:50

I THINK Tattoos all over the neck are minging, and look good on NO-ONE

Plus, I THINK it looks fucking ugly

Fixed that for you Grin

UpstartCrow · 27/02/2018 10:51

Yanby, you aren't trying to stop him getting a tattoo, you are asking him to think twice about one on his neck.
Neck and face tattoos are not the same as other body tattoos. Not all tattoo artists will do them.

Original poster
LittleMe03 · 27/02/2018 10:51

@user1490607838

I daren't do this incase he says 'yes, let's both do it together!!' Grin

OP posts:
nemno · 27/02/2018 10:51

YANBU it's not just about this boss, what about his next job? When you're in a role, doing it competently, then it's unlikely you'd get fired (rightly) but how to get past new job interviews is a whole different issue.

flumpybear · 27/02/2018 10:53

What is his job? Personally I'd be worried that this job has no policy but other jibs May have a policy to cover up and he'll either not get the job or ha e to spend lots of mo eh to get that make up to cover it, which would probably end up getting all over any short he was wearing

Secondly, if getting a tattoo leaves you short of money then he can't afford it

NachoAddict · 27/02/2018 10:54

I have several tattoos, some quite large and I don't think you are being unreasonable. A neck tattoo is different to an arm, leg.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/02/2018 10:55

Have you seen the other staff? I think he’s lying about the uniform.

I think you have miscounted opinions here. The vast majority agree with you.

You can’t actually stop him, but you can tell him that if he goes ahead with it, against your wishes, it may well affect how you feel about him, so he needs to take that into consideration.

user1490607838 · 27/02/2018 10:55

I daren't do this in case he says 'yes, let's both do it together!!'

LOL, that WOULD be bad!!! Grin

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 27/02/2018 10:55

YANBU. I have tattoos and am genuinely of the your-body-your-choice but when it comes to something so drastic I'd be cross if DH just went and did it with no regard for my opinion.

He's more U to spend money on tattoos and leaving his family short than for anything else, is he generally a very selfish person?

MillennialFalcon · 27/02/2018 10:55

I'm normally all for saying it's his body and his choice but I can understand your concerns. It's not just about disliking tattoos, there are some practical issues. Ultimately it's his decision and you can't stop him but you can ask him to consider the family finances and his job prospects. How will his current employer feel about a neck tattoo given that they ask him to cover the arm ones? How secure is his current job and will the tattoo be a problem if he has to look for other work in future? I wish that tattoos weren't such an issue in the workplace but he has to deal with the reality of the situation. I assume you have children, in which case he needs to consider if this will affect his ability to provide for them, it's not just about him anymore.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/02/2018 10:57

Um- is this a bit of a reverse?

Almost everyone replying has said you're being totally reasonable and he is very much being an arse.

Yet you seem to be swerving this a bit. Seems like you might have wanted to hear a different opinion Grin

Let's be clear- the consensus is that he is being a twat. Loud and clear. Sorry about that, OP's DP OP Grin

MillennialFalcon · 27/02/2018 10:57

Sorry cross posted with your comment about the long sleeves but he should definitely double check their tattoo policy before getting a visible one.

fantasmasgoria1 · 27/02/2018 10:57

I have many tattoos half sleeves etc but none on my hands or neck. You can cover arms but in summer you can’t go around wearing a scarf! His current employer may not be bothered but what if he gets mad redundant for example? It might prevent him getting other jobs!

lils888 · 27/02/2018 10:58

He's an adult, you can't stop him doing anything. You can give your opinion but it's his choice.

If you don't like it then I'm afraid that's your problem, don't make it his.

Idontdowindows · 27/02/2018 10:59

I would be massively turned off by tattoos, so I'm biased.

Lovely on other people, not in my bed.

SandyY2K · 27/02/2018 10:59

YANBU

I personally find tattoos on the head, face and neck totally unappealing and garish...and scary too.

It sounds like he doesnt or would never work in an industry that has an issue with it, otherwise he would surely have considered this.

upsideup · 27/02/2018 11:00

Only if you are willing to let him make you have a tattoo?
If you have rights over his body then he has rights over yours.

lils888 · 27/02/2018 11:01

Then again I love tattoos and would happily be with a man covered head to toe in them. Tattoos would be an instant yes from me in my younger days, no conversation needed just show me that beautiful body artGrin

FizzyGreenWater · 27/02/2018 11:05

Only if you are willing to let him make you have a tattoo?
If you have rights over his body then he has rights over yours.

bring on that sixth form logic

Sarahjconnor · 27/02/2018 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotSoSprightly · 27/02/2018 11:07

It sounds awful OP and I would be very angry if he went ahead knowing that I wasn't on board with it.

Surely you're joking?

OP is it à la Jake Gyllenhaal in Prisoners? If so I'll take him off your hands Wink

SteamyBeignets · 27/02/2018 11:09

He needs to think about future work as well. He might lose his current job which might be fine with it, but tbh most people judge neck tattoos. I certainly would be very hesitant to hire someone with one because I think the person just doesn't give a damn about other people's perception, be it customers, management, etc.

Quaza · 27/02/2018 11:10

His body his choice..... but NOT if you are helping yo pay for it. 😕

Paying for tattoos when you are potentially short of money is idiotic and selfish.

APontypandyPioneer · 27/02/2018 11:12

OP he definitely should save for it and not leave you short. It's a nice to have not a necessity!

As long as it is doesn't impact his work, I still stand by his body his choice though. Of course share your views with him so he really takes everything into consideration.

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