To bf a 3 year old?

[fannyanddick]

My dh mentioned that I shouldn't tell anyone that I still breast feed as they will judge now that our child is three and that I should think about stopping. I only feed her once a day but she loves it and doesn't want to stop. Last time I said 'you're getting a bit big for milkies now', she said that she loved it and didn't want to get any bigger or grow up and more.

What is the general view? Is she too old?

@blue nothing to add to the advice above but just to encourage you to do what's best for you and your children. BF is good for babies (and beyond in my view though granted not everyone would or should agree) but if it makes you unhappy then don't persist because you feel you ought to like it or do it.

@cream but that is simply your opinion.

I could with, equal confidence, point to my DD who is four and has been comforted by preschool and nursery workers quite happily despite finding BF a source of comfort. But I know she's not representative of all natural term BF children and indeed have limited evidence as to whether the attachment we have formed through BF is what makes her confident and happy.

What I am trying to say is, it's never as binary as 'do this: get that'. There are loads of complex interactions which will make children more or less resilient and confident and it's just wrong to assert that BF for longer makes kids weird, or emotionally fragile, or that those mothers who choose to do so are doing it for their own gratification at the cost of their child's wellbeing.

More for the mum's benefit usually
Again, can you explain what the benefits of this are to women? And if not, I will choose to ignore these pointless goady comments.

I think of a few benefits for me, as the mum.

Reduced risk of breast cancer
Reduced risk of uterine cancer
Reduced risk of ovarian cancer
Reduced risk of osteoporosis
Increased levels of oxytocin

The first one is really fascinating. The longer you breastfeed, the more the risk reduces.

Thanks too old . I fed until older than 3 .

Not

Reduced risk of breast cancer

Reduced postmenopausal risk. Risk of breast cancer actually rises in the 5-10 year period postpartum and those cancers are often more aggressive. The picture is more nuanced than simple risk reduction

(Ex cancer researcher..) :)

Well, I can't be too far away from menopause so I'll take it! Hoping DD2 breastfeeds for a while longer yet too.

You should be proud of your bf journey! Go mamma!!!

Oh do fuck off Totally how hilarious a bitty sketch.

Yes I think it's weird

Just do it for as long as you are comfortable. It is no one elses business and there are huge benefits to both you and her from extended breastfeeding. I breastfed my third once a day until he was 3.5 and his older sisters to 2 and 18 months respectively. We stopped when he stopped showing that much interest and my back needed the rest.

there are huge benefits to both you and her from extended breastfeeding

Do you have some actual science to back that claim up?

ExNDN some years ago BF her DS until 6-7 yrs old. She would go to the school during the day and take him to her car then he would return to school when finished.

Not for me, but to each her own.

No, no, no - that is wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start...

I think you will find there are more people do it than you think. I fed DS until he was around 3.5 when he stopped on his own (with a little encouragement). I used to feed him just at bedtime in the end or more if he was poorly. My mum wasn’t a fan but she let it go. She used to say aren’t you a bit big for that when he was two and would come and lift my top up 😀 Didn’t get any other negative comments but with only feeding at bedtime, it didn’t crop up. When it did come up with other mins turned out quite a few of us fed past 3.

Oh and just ignore any negativity. Do what you want OP. There are benefits to you and your child and anyone who says otherwise is misinformed.

Tbh, how often does it come up in conversation? DD self weaned at about 18 months, but ds1 didn't stop until quite a way past 3. But by then he was only feeding at night/bedtime normally unless he was ill, so it isn't like we were feeding out and about. It never came up in general conversation, a few friends knew he still fed, as did family, but while I would never lie or avoid the topic I never needed to discuss it really.

Ds 2 is only 4 months, and have already been asked when he will be starting the bottles! 😂

Natural self-weaning is between 3 and 7 I believe on average.

As someone mentioned there may be more of 'us' than we think. A good friend bf past 2yrs old and my colleague bf her 5 and 2yrs old...

But by that theory surely you will need to breastfeed him forever? At some point during childhood he's surely going to move onto cows milk?

Why? Cow’s milk is hardly necessary, and natural term breastfeeding isn’t instead of it. Neither of mine ever drink cow’s milk ( I offer it ) but that get plenty of calcium and all the other nutrients you get from milk elsewhere in their diet, and in better quantities than milk can provide too.

Do whatever is right for you. Stand up and be counted! I do hope that one day, things like this won't even be an issue.

YANBU and I don't see any reason why you would stop before you're both ready.
It seems a shame that it's not the cultural norm. WHO advises to BF until at least 2.
DS is 4 months and I mentioned to someone about him having expressed milk when he goes to nursery - he will be 12 months old by then. The response I got was "but he can have cow's milk then"
Why would I give him milk made for a baby cow when my body makes milk for a baby human??

I think ignorance on the subject is rife though. I knew nothing on the subject when pregnant and assumed I would bf until 6 months and then give him follow on milk because that's what I thought you did!

Once the milk teeth fall out and adult teeth come in most kids lose the ability to latch, so weaning will occur naturally anyway.

Cows' milk is not essential. One of mine will have a small glass on occasion and one will maybe have a splash on cereal or in a hot drink and that is it. I only have it in porridge, all drinks are black.

I know of a GP that breastfed her 4 year old child in the evening before his bedtime.

I would have given anything to have been able to gone beyond the 12 weeks I experienced in feeding my DD.

I aimed to BF DC1 to 6 months, had never considered feeding beyond that. Then when I went back to work when he was 12 months I thought that would be it but he had food when he wasn’t with me and BF when he was. My siblings and I were all formula fed so it wasn’t the norm for our family and my DF kept telling me after 6 months that I could stop now. However both him and DM were great with me breastfeeding in public and boosted my confidence.

We didn’t want a big gap between DC but my periods hadn’t returned when DS was 18 months so thought we would need to stop BF to ttc but it turned out I was already pregnant. He fed till around 21 months. DD1 BF for around 21 months and stopped just after I got pregnant with DD2. She fed till 2 years 3 months, was only bedtime towards the end and I stopped when I needed to start a medication and she was happy to finish. DC2&3 had chicken pox at 18 months and 2 years respectively and for about 5 days all they had was breast milk, neither would eat so it was very useful and a massive comfort.