How do people feel if the man you are with is looking at other women ?

[hopethingsgetbetter]

I know this is probably obvious as I've seen it posted on here before but I'm just wondering how women cope with their partner looking at other women in a checking them out kind of way? I really do not like it at all. My partner does it in rather sneaky ways (eg walking back in the shopping isle to pick up some more bread or whatever, when he clearly wants to have a closer look, or if a woman jogger runs past us he will pretend to want to see what the building behind us is so that he can watch her running). I hadn't challenged him on this until yesterday because I thought it was rather a belittling an paranoid sounding accusation. However he admitted that he knows that he does it and he says all men do it, but I know that they don't. Perhaps it doesn't matter. I know he wouldn't act on anything. Incidentally, I have (when I was younger) been the 'looked-at woman' as well. I haven't done it (because it would be demeaning, rude and unkind) but when I was looked-at woman I have felt like calling the man out and telling their wife.

Another one for the "everybody looks, only creeps ogle and backtrack for a further ogle".

Sorry OP, your husband is bog standard creep material.

Nope, not all men do it. Some people are easy on the eye, and as a married/loved up peoples it doesn't mean you suddenly stop the aesthetics running in your brians.
We're married, not dead.

But going to the lengths of your man OP to ogle another women is pretty poor behaviour and disrespectful.

Argeles if your daughter got her face smashed in by a woman whose boyfriend had looked at her despite no invitation whatsoever, would you still feel the same ? That she deserved it ?

you can also run the aesthetics in your brains , as well as your brians...

What is he doing isnt normal. If someone attractive walks by its hard not to look. It's natural instinct and I don't see anything wrong with it. My.husband doesnt tend to stare but if someone catches his eye he will glance then look away. As do I. I don't see the harm in it at all. You can't walk around with your eyes closed. However, going out his way to pretend to do something to get a better ogle, is going too far.

IMO men who do this are viewing women as objects which is totally unacceptable. It's natural to look at someone and find them attractive but ogling is a big no.

Argeles if your daughter got her face smashed in by a woman whose boyfriend had looked at her despite no invitation whatsoever, would you still feel the same ?

Good question, or even if argeles herself got beaten up.

I remember her because she posted like this before and everyone was horrified. So she's stuck in my mind. It seems she suffers from irrational levels of jealousy. And that's an understatement. She said if she's out and she sees a woman who has a certain look that she thinks her husband likes, even when out on her own, she gets irrationally angry about the woman, hates her and wants to hurt her.

My ex did this.

My current partner doesn't. I've mentioned it to him. He says it's a choice to ogle other women. All men certainly don't.

I notice attractive men, a small glance or whatever. I expect DP notices attractive women too, but I haven't noticed it.

What your DP does is really creepy, it's not normal at all. I know all types of men, including ones who are always looking for the next fling, and even they don't double back in the supermarket.

And Argeles you really need to seek some anger management, what you are saying is completely unhinged. That woman that you want to beat up really doesn't want your creepy husband looking at her anyway...

It's vile behaviour and totally unacceptable in a committed relationship.

You really deserve better, OP. Please don't let him get away with this.

It's just rude.

There is a world of difference between a discreet glance and openly ogling.
My DH while out with me one day when we first got together many moons ago, actually turned round to check out a woman who had walked past us in the street. I had the last laugh as, while he was actually walking backwards he slipped off the kerb causing him to fall and break his collarbone 😂 He's never done it again.

It's not normal or respectful to actually double back to carry on ogling at someone.

My husband might do it, but if he does he’s so subtle about it i’ve Never noticed. What your husband does it so blatant and insulting. I bet he wouldn’t like it if you openly drooled over random men in the street!

How is it the fault of the woman Argeles?!

I’d be mightily annoyed if someone was ogling me and then their DP attacked me. Id be using all of my self defence skills in those circumstances.

Absolute madness.

My husband genuinely does not do this. I'm sure he notices attractive women but he doesn't openly check them out.

I've got a male friend on the other hand who does do this and it is so unbelievably cringy, I don't know whether he realises he does it but he surely can't know how it looks.

@Argeles you've got issues and should see your GP about them. What you said is disgusting. It's not random women's fault if your DH ogles them, and you're directing your anger at the wrong person.
As pps have said, your DD will be on the receiving end of a man oggling in a few years. If that man's partner feels like you, but doesn't have your "restraint", would it be ok for that woman to batter her? Of course not. Sort yourself out.

OP. your partner is creepy, and his actions show what kind of man he is, misogynistic. I wouldn't want to be with a man like that.

I have never ever noticed DH doing this but guess he must at least glance as would I. I know he must at least glance as he tells me that there is not another woman in the world that even gets close to me :o

I would add that I am in fact a very ordinary middle age woman.

Not all men do this. Sure, a quick glance if someone’s really striking - I’m pretty sure if someone was interesting enough I’d glance over too - but hanging back for a proper look or deliberately going up a supermarket aisle just to check someone out? Creepy, massively disrespectful to you, and probably weirding out any women who notice him doing it.

Urgh I think there is a difference between incidentally noticing an attractive person and doing a double take- I've done it before, as has my DH, but to deliberately walk back to have a good ogle is creepy and stalkerlike. I bet the women notice there is some strange man looking at her bum too and find it creepy and pervy.

I would start doing the same thing
I would obviously check out attractive men and make comments like corrr I'd give him one
See how he likes them apples

Dp would never do this ! Not because he never finds other women attractive but because he would never disrespect me like that Infact even if he was shopping alone I can't imagine him actually walking back in a certain direction to have a good look at a woman!!

Argeles is at least consistent in her woman-hating, man-pleasing attitudes.

I have no doubt that my dh notices attractive women but in over 21 years I have never noticed him noticing, if you know what I mean.
I don't think I would make me feel jealous as such or bad about myself, but it would make me think he was massive dickhead and a bit pathetic. It's also incredibly rude.

It is visual rape.

it's human nature

This thread is making my feel abnormal, unhuman perhaps.

I've no idea what make's someone attractive? Is it the people we see on TV and magazines or those who are well groomed. I don't even watch TV, so what's the latest trend?