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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to be so upset by DPs actions yesterday?

132 replies

MsHippo · 26/02/2018 13:58

Just wanting some perspective here. Sorry, it's turned out a bit long!

Yesterday morning DP and I had a pathetic argument whilst I was getting ready to for a run. He had left my makeup wipes open overnight (after bringing me one) so they had dried up, I had pointed it out in a slightly irritated way (I know IABU about this part!) and it escalated into a tiff. After a while of cross back-and-forths, he told me just to go for my run, so I did.

I was out for about an hour, and when I got back he wasn't there. I looked in every room several times, and noticed he hadn't taken keys, wallet, shoes, coat etc, and didn't appear to have got dressed. At this point I was really worried about him, he would never go out without those things, and I genuinely couldn't find him, so I rang/texted several times and waited for a few minutes to hear back. When I heard nothing, I grabbed his coat and headed out to look for him and give it to him if he was cold. I checked the garden, walked round the block etc but no sign of him. I was really concerned about him as this seemed very out of character and I had no idea where he might have gone with new shoes, coat, money.

I headed back home to regroup and which point he appeared. It turned out he had been sat behind the spare room door, his phone was silenced and he had sat (and not come out when it was clear I was looking for him) there because he didn't want to talk to me when I got home. I was slightly beside myself and got quite upset with him. I was upset both that he had been hiding from me, and also because I had been so worried about him when he was "missing". We've since kissed and made up, but he doesn't seem to understand why I was so upset.

So (got there in the end!), was hiding from me like that a normal this to do, and WIBU to be so upset?

OP posts:
Marcine · 26/02/2018 14:01

What a bizarre thing to do. Sounds like he was punishing you by giving you a fright. Spiteful.

RoboticSealpup · 26/02/2018 14:02

Is he actually 16? Or is he just a teenager in the body of a grown man?

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 26/02/2018 14:03

Ywbu to have gone looking for him and for taking him a coat. Let the miserable fucker freeze.
Sounds like a teen you have on your hands there op.

Stormwhale · 26/02/2018 14:04

Not normal at all. It was childish and emotionally manipulative. He behaved that way to upset you and punish you. Massive red flag for me.

Wetwashing00 · 26/02/2018 14:05

How old is he? 🤨

Lethaldrizzle · 26/02/2018 14:05

You both sound a bit ott. You got upset because your wipes were a bit dry! Then you got crazy cos you thought he disappeared? I think you both need to chill out

amusedbush · 26/02/2018 14:06

He HID behind a door because he didn't want to speak to you? Is he 11 years old?

frenchfancynancy · 26/02/2018 14:06

It's not an odd thing to do....if you're 3.

Presumably you're not married to a three year old so I'd be thinking that he's a bit of an arsehole

amusedbush · 26/02/2018 14:06

You both sound a bit ott. You got upset because your wipes were a bit dry!

To be fair, I would be annoyed at that and would tell my DH so.

flumpybear · 26/02/2018 14:06

Is all that worth it over wipes?

MrsMozart · 26/02/2018 14:07

Is this a usual thing for him?

LagunaBubbles · 26/02/2018 14:09

It sounds really bizarre and as if he was wanting to make you worry. But I don't understand why you went out with his coat really. He's a grown man who can decide if he needs a coat or not.

JonnyUtah · 26/02/2018 14:10

Yanbu bloody weirdo he is

Comeymemo · 26/02/2018 14:10

Nope not normal at all. Does he usually display signs of a histrionic personality?

Northernparent68 · 26/02/2018 14:11

This is nt a healthy relationship, you tell him to get your make up wipes,then tell him off, he hides from you. Seriously it’s weird all round.

Backscratchesforever · 26/02/2018 14:12

Sorry but, hahahaha!

He is sick for doing this, and I am sick for laughing, but I bet he is laughing at it every time you turn your back.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/02/2018 14:12

"He had left my makeup wipes open overnight (after bringing me one) so they had dried up, I had pointed it out in a slightly irritated way (I know IABU about this part!)"
I don't know a person alive who would not be irritated by something being damaged thoughtlessly. I'd have rolled my eyes about having to buy something I shouldn't need to buy again because they'd been made unusable. So stop thinking you were being unreasonable to be irritated. All he needed to do at that point was say 'Sorry, thoughtless of me, I got distracted' and moved on. Not escalated it into a tiff.

And absolutely not HIDDEN behind a door! FFS. I'm with Marcine on this, he was trying to punish you here by making you worried for him. Spiteful indeed.

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 26/02/2018 14:13

You both had a daft fight, you went for a run to regroup and get over it, he sat in the spare room to get some space and didn't want to talk.

You both over reacted imo. Just forget about it.

Amanduh · 26/02/2018 14:14

You are both ridiculous and over dramatic

Bluntness100 · 26/02/2018 14:14

He was hiding from you?

Jesus, I couldn't be with someone that immature. Prefer a man myself. Is he this immature in other ways?

Backscratchesforever · 26/02/2018 14:14

Makeup wipes are crap, they just smush the dirt around.

Lethaldrizzle · 26/02/2018 14:14

It only dries out the top wipe. Massive over reaction

ReanimatedSGB · 26/02/2018 14:15

This is really weird, childish behaviour. Does he have a habit of 'punishing' you? Do your belongings get damaged when you have had a row, for example? Does he get underfoot and delay you so you miss something you wanted to do? is this type of pretending to disappear something that has happened before?

SnowiestMountain · 26/02/2018 14:15

Well this is weird and not at all healthy. Yes he was trying to make you worry but you were also BU for complaining about the make up wipes.

That is particularly odd/unpleasant behaviour from him though.

Wetwashing00 · 26/02/2018 14:15

When you say husband, do you mean son?

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