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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to be so upset by DPs actions yesterday?

132 replies

MsHippo · 26/02/2018 13:58

Just wanting some perspective here. Sorry, it's turned out a bit long!

Yesterday morning DP and I had a pathetic argument whilst I was getting ready to for a run. He had left my makeup wipes open overnight (after bringing me one) so they had dried up, I had pointed it out in a slightly irritated way (I know IABU about this part!) and it escalated into a tiff. After a while of cross back-and-forths, he told me just to go for my run, so I did.

I was out for about an hour, and when I got back he wasn't there. I looked in every room several times, and noticed he hadn't taken keys, wallet, shoes, coat etc, and didn't appear to have got dressed. At this point I was really worried about him, he would never go out without those things, and I genuinely couldn't find him, so I rang/texted several times and waited for a few minutes to hear back. When I heard nothing, I grabbed his coat and headed out to look for him and give it to him if he was cold. I checked the garden, walked round the block etc but no sign of him. I was really concerned about him as this seemed very out of character and I had no idea where he might have gone with new shoes, coat, money.

I headed back home to regroup and which point he appeared. It turned out he had been sat behind the spare room door, his phone was silenced and he had sat (and not come out when it was clear I was looking for him) there because he didn't want to talk to me when I got home. I was slightly beside myself and got quite upset with him. I was upset both that he had been hiding from me, and also because I had been so worried about him when he was "missing". We've since kissed and made up, but he doesn't seem to understand why I was so upset.

So (got there in the end!), was hiding from me like that a normal this to do, and WIBU to be so upset?

OP posts:
Tiddlywinks63 · 26/02/2018 14:59

Spiteful arsey twerp.
I wouldn't have bothered looking personally but enjoyed the peace!

susurration · 26/02/2018 15:00

I had a boyfriend when I was 17 who did the same thing. He was a manipulative, nasty, childish little boy. Sounds like your "d" p.

GladAllOver · 26/02/2018 15:07

That does sound unreasonable on his part, but tbh you have only given us one side of the situation and there may be a back story. Could he has been so upset that he had to shut himself away to compose himself /calm down?

Shoxfordian · 26/02/2018 15:15

He sounds like a 5 year old
Ridiculous

Hogtini · 26/02/2018 15:17

Tbf this all sounds a bit ott and I would just put it down to a silly row and move on. You'll laugh about it one day (soon hoefully! Life is too short!).
People calling him manipulative jeez this is just a snap shot and unless this is a massive drip feed I would just put it down to a mad 5 mins.

Hogtini · 26/02/2018 15:18

*hopefully

Hullygully · 26/02/2018 15:19

That is hilarious. Is his lower lip stuck out still? Have you changed his nappy?

nonfatnofoamlatte · 26/02/2018 15:20

Stop going on about the wipes! It could have been any small argument and he would have hid like a small child. Has he form for this?

Julie8008 · 26/02/2018 15:28

I think its a pretty sensible thing to have a quiet sit down in the spare room when you dont want to talk. Suppose he could have gone to the pub but not everyone is perfect.

BrendasUmbrella · 26/02/2018 15:29

LMAO he was hiding from you like a four year old, I love it! (I wouldn't love being married to him, but thankfully I don't have to be.)

He was looking for your attention and listening out for you to be worried. It shows an immature side, passive aggressive and controlling in a weedy kind of way. Just be aware that this is what you have married. maybe he'll mature over time.

Gitfeatures · 26/02/2018 15:45

What came first, him acting like a child (hiding behind doors?!) or you acting like his mother (running off in search of him with a coat)?

saladdays66 · 26/02/2018 15:50

Not normal, no. What an overreaction. Is he usually like this? How old is he??

Tink2007 · 26/02/2018 15:53

Are you married to Peter Pan?

NotSoSprightly · 26/02/2018 15:55

Normal person's reaction to wipe packet being left open: "Oh damn, you left the packet open and now they're dry!"

End of story.

He was also weird and childish to hide from you.

YA both U.

Klobuchar · 26/02/2018 15:56

I knew when I read the first few lines of the post that someone would be along to say how crap face wipes are.

To be honest OP, your partner doesn’t sound well. Sulking after a tiff is one thing, hiding behind a door isn’t normal behaviour.

mollied · 26/02/2018 16:04

That is really odd he is behaving like a child.

BrendasUmbrella · 26/02/2018 16:05

Dry makeup wipes aren't a big deal by the way. A few drops of water, seal the pack and leave them upside down. Good as new.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 26/02/2018 16:11

I think you’re both incredibly childish and as unreasonable as each other.

It’s make up wipes...did you need to have a go? Why didn’t you get one yourself?

LolitaLempicka · 26/02/2018 16:13

Weird thing for him to do. But why on earth did you go out looking for him? He is a grown man (debatable) so if he goes out without shoes, coat, money, phone then that is up to him. Stop being so pathetic.

WorraLiberty · 26/02/2018 16:15

This is really odd.

Odd that he hid behind the door and odd that you have to ask if that's normal.

Deandre · 26/02/2018 16:18

That’s not normal.

KurriKurri · 26/02/2018 16:24

He sounds weird and hard work. he won't get less weird or easier work as he ages. Do you want to be playing hide and seek with a seventy year old twerp or would you rather have a relationship with a grown up ?

As an aside, why do people come on threads like this and say stuff like 'make up wipes are crap' ? - like that is of any relevance at all, it is so bizarre and so way off the point. You might as well post 'where did he buy his coat?' or 'what colour are the curtains in your spare room?'

Original poster
MsHippo · 26/02/2018 16:34

Ok answers to a few of the many questions posed:

We're not married or even engaged, but we do live together.

This behaviour is completely uncharacteristic of him, that is why I was so worried. He would normally never go out if he was expecting me home shortly without leaving a note or something. I don't think this is overbearing, just courteous.

I went downstairs (5th floor flat), through the communal garden and round the block to the front door with his coat. I did this because I knew he didn't have keys, and I thought he may have accidentally locked himself out and been waiting (freezing!) at the wrong door for me to get back from my run.

I wasn't super upset about the wipes, I just said "Oh DH, you left my wipes open and now they're all dry" but like any stupid argument it escalated. I also realise wipes aren't the best way to wash your face but I like to use one as a first go-over so my white flannels don't get so stained.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsHippo · 26/02/2018 16:35

And he got me a wipe the night before because he was up and we do each other favour like grab something from another room if we're already up for another reason. I thought this was normal?

OP posts:
Klobuchar · 26/02/2018 16:41

Getting things for each other and being nice to each other like that is normal, OP. I don’t know why that’s an issue on here.

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