DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

[MarysLittleLamb]

I get very moved by certain types of art and music, so much so that I occasionally cry. Last year we went to the Louvre and I ended up silently weeping at a number of art works. When we got out of the gallery DH admitted that he finds it all a bit over the top and unnecessary - as if I do it on purpose!

Anyway we've just got back from Rome. I became a little overwhelmed in the coliseum when I thought about the violence and death that had taken place there. DH said I was the only one in the entire place crying and he was fed up with it. I explained that I don't do it on purpose, it just gets to me.

We went to the Sistine Chappell the day after and I ended up screaming at the MichaelAngelo. A number of tourists tried to console me but DH just walked off muttering "for fucks sake". I felt so stupid. When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together. AIBU to think I can't change who I am or should I??

I felt like I could leverate up and be taken to it and the frustration of not being able to just crushed me.

ooookkkkaaayyy - that really is quite irrational then.

Presumably you aren't enjoying yourself a huge amount what with the frustration and arguments with you DH? A beach holiday in the future maybe?

But I would say I think you are probably ruining the experience for other people. I wouldn't want to be near someone wailing and crying, it would be embarrassing for everyone.

OP "A few years back we went to the ground zero memorial and I was crying quite heavily there"

um.....I am someone who was bereaved after that incident. If I saw you crying heavily, I'd think you were too and I'd probably offer you a hug and ask who you lost.

he's not embarrassed by your sensitivity, he's embarrassed by your inability to behave appropriately. Screaming at artworks?

I am hugely moved by music art etc etc, but I don't get noisy about it.

what do you think about others who do this, if you have encountered them?

How did you deal with Dobby dying?

To the person who didn't know if MAs David was in Rome.

" other heart-deadening places with Michael Buble on the headphones "

Personally, nothing makes me want to lie on the floor in apoplexies of grief like the noise of Micky Fucking Bubbles.

Your DH is a saint. I would have left you the first time you teared up in an art gallery.

I had a manager like this. She burst into tears at a) a balloon and b) because she had witnessed someone shout at a Shetland pony....

That's really funny OP! It made me laugh.

Yeah, I'd think you were a bit of a twat.

I do it too, at first I thought it was just me but I found others and now we can visit loads of artwork and not be ashamed of our screaming. You should join us.

Tell us more stuff

Yes please. 🤣🤣🤣

God there are some weird things on mn these days but this has elevated things to a whole new level!

(Please let it be real, I so want somebody to be actually this mad)

OP it's rare for mn to be so united but yes, you are being vvvvvvvvvvu.

Get a grip, grow up, and control yourself. Counselling if you really can't do this on your own.

But also thank you for actually making me laugh out loud Can you let us know next time you go somewhere so we can organise a minibus to come watch the show? Please? Pretty please?

As others have said, I don’t think it’s wrong to be moved to tears by places/objects/films etc I can think of feeling so at places like the Anne Frank house, the holocaust memorial in Boston and the Kennedy grave to name a few. But my outward display tends to wet eyes and then inward reflection/quiet discussion of the enormity of the event commemorated/depicted.

DH thinks I’m wet enough, I guarantee he’d kill me dead if a screamed in the Sistine Chapel.

it's attention seeking and insensitive to those around you

Imagine your memory of the Sistine chapel being the hysterical woman.

Ok, you've overdone it a bit now OP but nice try.

I don't believe anybody could genuinely react that way unless they were in the midst of some sort of breakdown.

This is the BEST thing I've read in AIBU in months. It's made my day!

if this is real then yes, you certainly should try and exert some control over it. Its one thing to be a bit sensitive but this sounds like way way beyond that. If people are coming up and trying to comfort you regularly i do think you need to sort it out. Not to mention that it is obviously effecting your marriage.

I know someone who has a habit of touching the art. In its presence she can’t help but touch something the masters have touched. They are all alarmed. And some have a nifty response time I can tell you. There’s a big gap between me and this person when we visit places. Maybe it’s best you and your husband do the same.

I've seen David's Willy

@JessicaEccles

A Shetland pony? 😳😂

You were crushed by the frustration of not touching it? I’ve been pretty frustrated at not being allowed to touch things too sometimes, cake with cream topping, my husband during certain activities, but the ceiling? Nah.

There will have been people in the Sistine Chapel for whom it was a once in a lifetime experience and you probably spoiled it for them.

If you can't control yourself, don't go.

I suspect you like the drama and think that you are so "sensitive" you can't help be transported. Seriously, grow up and get a grip.

I'm trying really hard not to laugh but my god I would think you were an utter loon and if I was your dh I would be the same as him. How mortifying!!

Have you considered a visit to the wailing wall? This may be where you will find your people

Ha Ha. Even if this thread isn't real it's really made me smile! (apart from the ground zero part that really deserves a slap)