DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

[MarysLittleLamb]

I get very moved by certain types of art and music, so much so that I occasionally cry. Last year we went to the Louvre and I ended up silently weeping at a number of art works. When we got out of the gallery DH admitted that he finds it all a bit over the top and unnecessary - as if I do it on purpose!

Anyway we've just got back from Rome. I became a little overwhelmed in the coliseum when I thought about the violence and death that had taken place there. DH said I was the only one in the entire place crying and he was fed up with it. I explained that I don't do it on purpose, it just gets to me.

We went to the Sistine Chappell the day after and I ended up screaming at the MichaelAngelo. A number of tourists tried to console me but DH just walked off muttering "for fucks sake". I felt so stupid. When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together. AIBU to think I can't change who I am or should I??

Maybe you could find a new sort of art to experience, where you are meant to be emotional. Go to a moshpit. Try an escape room. Be a protestor. Down with this sort of thing.

Oh dear, I really feel for your poor husband.
You are an embarrassment and I wouldn't go anywhere with you!

Wtf YABU

Hilarious!

I'm with your DH I'm afraid. I would also feel embarrassed if my partner did this and would probably avoid going out with them to anywhere that might trigger it.

I've had a little cry before at art/Grace Kelly's grave. No-one else has noticed (although DH did give me a little hug at Grace Kelly's grave). That's probably quite normal.

If DH went round weeping everywhere we went and screaming needlessly in museums I'd probably tell him I wouldn't travel anywhere with him again. No even to Tesco.

I’m with your DH here-screaming and wailing?! You sound very hard work! Either incredibly attention-seeking or quite unwell?

Is this a reverse maybe?

Oh and it's not sensitivity it's drama llama

It’s called Stendhal syndrome. Seek help and don’t go to Jerusalem. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stendhal_syndrome

As others have said, a few silent tears is fine. But screaming? Oh OP you've given me a good giggle 😆😆

All seems a bit of an affectation to be honest.

Look at me! I'm soooooo in touch with the artists

Oh your poor DH. Yes, you are over the top.

Or instead of art galleries have a wander around Next Home Furnishing. Harden yourself to the real art by looking at something more bland.

Definitely ott to be wailing - you really can control that. If you don’t want to that’s fine but it’s ok for your DH to find that uncomfortable, he can’t help his emotional response to you any more than you can control yours to art - you can both control how you express it however, try and keep your emotions to being teary eyed and in response he can keep his reaction to maybe going off to look at another picture rather than being critical.

I’m with your DH. I find OTT displays of emotion excruciating, and would find you wailing and or screaming in the Sistine Chapel very uncomfortable.

A few silent tears at some art or a film, fine, but bawling, proper weeping and god forbid wailing would be a hard stop for me.

I'm with your Dh. I would have been mortified if I was wit you.

I cry a lot at all sorts of things but try and rein it in in public. I think screaming (or indeed wailing) at a piece of art is very OTT behaviour and I'm not surprised your DH found it embarrassing. Sorry, YABU

It sounds like you're a performance tourist. Do you also have a massive Nikon?

If you were my partner I'd limit our outings to Arndale centres and other heart-deadening places with Michael Buble on the headphones in case you caught a strain of La Traviata

You can't change your feelings towards art/music. But you can definitely change your physical response to it. Welling up a bit is one thing, shedding a few discreet tears (there are certain movies that make me sniffle no matter how many times I watch them!) - but sobbing to the extent that perfect strangers feel the need to intervene is really quite an OTT reaction, and I'm not surprised your DP is embarrassed.

performance tourist

I've officially heard it all now.

Actually the thought of it made me giggle a bit as well. It's the mental image. Sorry op.🤣

I'm not sure this is real. I'm struggling with the fact anyone would do this and feel it's normal and acceptable.

I'm afraid I'd be a bit "Oh for fuck's sake!" At that!!! You sound like my MIL. Overly dramatic for absolutely no fucking reason at all. She acts like she's so scared of mice that upon hearing the word mouse she will squeal and flap her arms around and scold the person who said it, dramatically fanning her face with her hands. However, she will also walk through Pets at home, looking in at the hamsters, gerbils and yes, mice. Yes she'll shudder and make a comment but with her face peering right in at them. Attention seeker.

I think you need to seek professional help to be able to control yourself in public. Getting teary eyed is one think, but screaming?
That's a bit silly.
If I was your husband I would be embarrassed too.