To think you don’t beep your horn at pedestrians with sleeping children in prams?

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Just had a total arsehole do this to me, when we were crossing the road. Apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough and I got a mouthful of abuse too.

You don’t do that, do you? I have joint pain, severe pain and depression and DS is ASD and I’d just got him to sleep.

Why do some people enjoy being such knobs to others?

That's not being goady Lizzie, I'm deadly serious. Having an attitude that you have more rights as a driver to be on the road is a dangerous one.

I'm not saying that I have more rights as a driver, I don't. But when I'm a pedestrian with my DDs, or on my own, I done focus on my rights, I just want to stay safe. When I'm a driver, I do the best I can to drive safely, but I'm not a perfect driver and know that mistakes happen. My FIL was probably to blame for his accident, at least partly and he's dead. I want myself and my DDs to be safe, not right.

Don't not done, predictive text again!

The horn exists to warn other road users of your presence. Pressing the horn lightly at a pedestrian who is in the middle of the road and might not have seen you is the right thing to do.

The horn exists to warn other road users of your presence. Pressing the horn lightly at a pedestrian who is in the middle of the road and might not have seen you is the right thing to do.

This I agree with. The horn, I think, isn't an issue in this instance. The verbal abuse is another matter, that's never ok.

I am both a driver and a pedestrian as I imagine most of us are.

When I'm driving I keep an eye out for pedestrians, especially in areas where they might cross, eg on high streets. I don't beep at them or behave aggressively in any way, I often stop to let them cross etc because I think that is the right thing to do. It's easier for a car to stop and start than a person, it's climate controlled in a car, and "lost time" is made up quickly.

I see others driving and of course as a pedestrian I think a LOT of drivers only have half an eye on the road a lot of the time or are not very good drivers, aren't driving with the anticipation that something might happen at any point. I think they go along assuming that others will get out of their way, you see it quite a lot with people who don't stay on the correct side of the road fully if they have a big car etc.

Anyway, I also think a lot of drivers are very scared of hurting someone, and know that their driving is not always great, and that they get distracted, and this comes out as a sort of aggression against those they would potentially injure. So pedestrians, and especially cyclists. I think so many drivers HATE cyclists is actually becasue they're scared of hitting them and so they have this sort of pre-emptive anger towards them.

So bottom line is that in a fight between a pedestrian and a car, the car is going to win. People can and do cross the road at all sorts of places - lots of places don't even have crossings, lots of places they seem to have planned the crossing to cause maximum bother to the pedestrian... It is a resonsibility as a car driver to anticipate this FACT - that people are people and do this - and to drive accordingly adn not go around thinking - what even is it - I own the road you're in the wrong if you get killed it's your fault, from the perspective of 1/4 to 1/2 ton of metal vs some flesh and bone and maybe a pushchair.

OP, you sound stupid, unhinged, and your DS deserves a better guardian. Certainly not someone who would push him into th middle of the road because she feels entitled. Is that enough disrespect? You and your DH can kiss my ass.

" Pressing the horn lightly at a pedestrian who is in the middle of the road and might not have seen you is the right thing to do."

Why?

Are you intending to carry on without slowing down or swerving and are warning them that if they don't get out of the fucking way right now you will kill them?

Or are you just being a bit of a twat, they don't need any "warning" at all, you're just saying, you're in my fucking way, and I'm not happy about it, and I'm going to startle you by tooting my horn at you, maybe upsetting you, maybe waking up your baby, maybe and I'm going to do that because it's important to me, in my car, to make my displeasure at your position on the road, as a pedestrian, known to you.

I've got to say that I live in a part of the world which is quite busy and thank god, due to the numbers and the area, people tend to treat each other a bit better. And where I work, pedestrians are all over the road all the time, and no-one beeps, and the drivers look out for them, the the cyclists (and scooters!) are in the mix too, and that is the way it is, and everyone gets on with it.

There were some studies years ago which showed that when everything was mixed in together, that it was safer, as everyone was much more alert to their surroundings and tended to drive / cycle / etc more carefully.

Food for thought.

Actually there have been a couple of times when I've been grateful for a driver honking, as I've needed the warning that they've been there. I didn't feel the driver was being aggressive in the slightest. It depends entirely on the context.

I've personally only felt the need to use the horn a couple of times in over 20 years of driving.

Brilliant post Snibble. Agree with everything you've said.

so your saying op everytime someone steps out and nearly causes an accident that its just toujgh shit even though theres traffic lights that say we can go?

someone did do this last week casually crossing at the lights whilst they were greeen for cars-guess who the twat was them not me

I personally don’t think this is a right of way argument.

If I’m driving and a person is crossing the road (or stumbling into on a sat night in town) I adjust my driving accordingly and slow down, wave on, smile whatever. If I see kids or someone with a buggy close to my side of the road walking along, I drive at a speed that if they fell off the kerb or jumped into the road, I could stop with minimal effort. Okay they may still get hit but it would be at a very slow speed.

It doesn’t matter if I have right if way or if someone falls off the pavement into my car, I have to live with that guilt regardless.

I would always stop for a pedestrian in the road. Of course I would. Driving through a busy town centre on a Saturday night is pretty scary because of all the drunks stumbling about, so I adjust my speed accordingly. I am also wary of dogs not on leads.

The point that some posters were making wasn't whether the driver was wrong, but whether the OP was wrong to cross where she did, on a light that was against her.

exactly lonicera

there was no problem in waiting for the lights to change she just couldnt be bothered to wait coz its cold apparently and then was disresepcted because she has the right

Exactly, I'm always looking out for pedestrians stepping out into the road, as is any other careful driver. But that doesn't make it a good idea for a pedestrian to step out into the road on a green light at a junction because it's cold, especially when that pedestrian has a child in a buggy. I was extra careful when my DDs were in buggies or preschoolers holding my hand.

Because being safe, and keeping our children safe, is what matters ultimately.

I'm always looking out for pedestrians stepping out into the road, as is any other careful driver. But that doesn't make it a good idea for a pedestrian to step out into the road on a green light at a junction because it's cold, especially when that pedestrian has a child in a buggy
This ^^

I keep my eyes peeled for pedestrians and don't drive dangerously. If i can see someone's crossing, I slow down and it's all good.
If I'm on green then I'm not expecting a pedestrian there because my light is on green and who actuallycrosses when the cars are on green?!

If as a pedestrian I was recovering drom a sports injury so slower than usual and I choose to cross somewhere stupid then I'm the one being a dumbass.

No excuse for abuse though.

don't be so goady. Drivers always have to watch what they're doing, that's a given. But I still teach my DDs to take care to cross the road at a safe place, preferably at a pedestrian crossing. Because sadly, accidents do happen. Just watch the news.
And this ^^
I love how pointing out the fact that pedestrians should not be total.idiots and consider crossing at a safe place must make someome pompous who would run someone over and go to prison.

But now I'm enlightened that as a pedestrian I have zero personal responsibility to find safe places to cross, maybe tomorrow when I walk to town after work i should just walk out into some roads. I mean why not? It's meant to be snowing tomorrow so I'll be freezing and have places to be.

Pedestrians that cross the road when there isn't a crossing aren't always idiots Maisy, my elderly neighbour with Alzheimer's recently went on off his own into town and would have crossed two busy, main roads to do so. Hopefully drivers were kind to him and didn't beep their horn as he is very vulnerable and slow on his feet.

I didn' say at a crossing.
I said they need a safe place to cross. There are many safe places to cross that aren't crossings.

People are probably less likely to pip at an elderly person for those reasons. Someone crossing in a stupid place at a junction when the traffic is on green is differrnt.