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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don’t beep your horn at pedestrians with sleeping children in prams?

445 replies

CatsForgotPassword · 25/02/2018 14:01

Just had a total arsehole do this to me, when we were crossing the road. Apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough and I got a mouthful of abuse too.

You don’t do that, do you? I have joint pain, severe pain and depression and DS is ASD and I’d just got him to sleep.

Why do some people enjoy being such knobs to others?

OP posts:
Frouby · 25/02/2018 19:40

Oh and for everyone quoting right of way, no one has a right of way on the road. Different road users have Priority over other road users. I was always taught a pedestrian has a higher priority if they are in the road than a vehicle because anything else would be fucking madness and would mean vehicles could just plough into or harass pedestrians off the road.

It's irrelevant what the pedestrians health is or whether they have a child in a pushchair. They have Priority over the vehicle. Because they are more vulnerable.

Mn is an odd place sometimes. It's supposed to be a place to offer support to parents from other parents. It seems that lots of threads these days actually end up being horrible to other parents. And in this case a parent who perhaps is more vulnerable than other parents.

OP have some Flowers and some Cake and a Brew. You were fine. Driver was a Cunty McCunt face.

perfectstorm · 25/02/2018 19:43

Mn is an odd place sometimes. It's supposed to be a place to offer support to parents from other parents. It seems that lots of threads these days actually end up being horrible to other parents. And in this case a parent who perhaps is more vulnerable than other parents.

Yeah; sometimes it seems like posters believe the support offered is via volunteer human punchbag.

It's a shame.

beepthemeep · 25/02/2018 19:43

In anger, it's never ok. Ever. Have a bit of patience FFS. In a town centre it's only going to keep you from the next set of traffic lights by a matter of a few seconds.

If it's someone you know saying hi as they drive past - that's probably different. I guess they wouldn't be able to see if the child was sleeping!

Original poster
CatsForgotPassword · 25/02/2018 19:51

A friend (ASD one) posted a meme that said they didn't have a processing error; they had a different operating system. I really like that.

Yeah that’s how I think of it. Neither is better or worse, but ASD people are the minority so the world expects us to be NT

OP posts:
Original poster
CatsForgotPassword · 25/02/2018 19:52

OP have some flowers and some cake and a brew. You were fine. Driver was a Cunty McCunt face.

Thank you. I did think it bizarre someone said I was a crap mother because they didn’t agree with how I crossed the road lmao. Thanks for the kind response Flowers

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 25/02/2018 19:57

Quick Cats leave the thread now while it's going well. Grin

PerfectStorm ha ha I think I saw you at that rave in '92. Glad to meet a fellow 90's survivor. Smile

mehhh · 25/02/2018 20:06

Sounds like a tosser id be furious too... I cried a couple of months after dd was born as I was driving round a busy car park and got screamed at by some woman, I just went home in the end because I couldn't be bothered after that

LoniceraJaponica · 25/02/2018 20:06

"It's irrelevant what the pedestrians health is or whether they have a child in a pushchair. They have Priority over the vehicle. Because they are more vulnerable."

I don't disagree, but that is why we have rules in place otherwise the roads will be full of random people wandering all over the place obstructing the flow of traffic.

TotHappy · 25/02/2018 23:11

What the fuck is up with everyone?! The pedestrian has right of way! THE PEDESTRIAN HAS RIGHT OF WAY!!

LoniceraJaponica · 25/02/2018 23:33

It still doesn't give people the right to step out into the road willy nilly though, does it?

Pedestrians still have a responsibility to see if the road is clear before crossing it. This is in the Highway Code snd the Green Cross Code Hmm

perfectstorm · 26/02/2018 00:27

Pedestrians still have a responsibility to see if the road is clear before crossing it. This is in the Highway Code snd the Green Cross Code

OP has repeatedly said that the road was clear when she started to cross. Fine, you don't believe her. Who cares? Not like you were there to know, either way.

LoniceraJaponica · 26/02/2018 06:12

Then the driver must have been driving too fast or the OP took too long to cross the road.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 26/02/2018 07:30

Lonicera the OP stepped out on a road that had NO cars on it. On what planet are your from where you repeatedly blame her for this twat beeping at her?

MaisyPops · 26/02/2018 07:36

She was also at a junction. I don't know about you but I wouldn't be able to see 3 roads at once whilst crossing with kids.

It's why the green cross code talks about listeninh as well as seeing because cars can come into view (especially if you're slower). There's a somewhere near me that you can get across if it seems empty enough, but given there's a junction just up it's probably worth not crossing there if you are slower. Walking further up the road away from the junction and crossing there makes more sense.
If a car turns into the road from the junction then they should let pedestrians cross who are crossing. That doesn't make it sensible to cross close to a junction if you're slower or have kids.

The driver shouldn't have been absusive.
The OP asked for advice and views and then proceeded to tell everyone she is right on it all and would ruin people's 'fucking lives' if anything happened (even though many people have pointed out that she may not have been crossing at a safe place). If someone is so convinced they are right, why ask people in real life and why start a thread on it?

MaisyPops · 26/02/2018 07:37

*That doesn't make it sensible to cross close to a junction if you're slower or have kids unless you wait for the lights to go to red.

Lizzie48 · 26/02/2018 07:52

The last post from @LoniceraJaponica is correct, though. The OP has said that she's slow, she can't help that. I suspect the driver probably was going too fast and was annoyed at having to stop. There are drivers who think they own the road and tailgate other drivers who don't want to get points on their license. And I can well imagine a driver like that verbally abusing pedestrians as well.

I'm sorry you had that happen, OP. Thanks

Lizzie48 · 26/02/2018 07:55

But I second @MaisyPops as well, crossing at a junction isn't a great idea, as you really can't see well enough.

LoniceraJaponica · 26/02/2018 08:10

"Lonicera the OP stepped out on a road that had NO cars on it"

So, I repeat - either the driver was going too fast or the OP was taking too long to cross the road, or even the car was there and she just didn't see it, especially if she was at a junction.

"It's why the green cross code talks about listening as well as seeing because cars can come into view (especially if you're slower).

Walking further up the road away from the junction and crossing there makes more sense.
If a car turns into the road from the junction then they should let pedestrians cross who are crossing. That doesn't make it sensible to cross close to a junction if you're slower or have kids."

I agree with this ^^

The onus is on the pedestrian as well as the driver to behave in a safe manner on roads.

Lizzie48 · 26/02/2018 08:22

Sometimes people react aggressively when they've had a fright, and the driver might have had to brake hard to let you cross. Especially if she was going too fast around the junction, with the lights being green she wouldn't be expecting to have to stop (although she should have been more vigilant obviously).

It's the correct use of the horn, but verbal abuse is never ok and I understand why the OP is upset.

But I've seen so many instances of non drivers just not understanding about braking distances and not realising that the driver might well have had a fright. As it was a junction, did she see you, as you didn't see her?

You need to understand what goes on in drivers' heads, OP. (Although I've managed not to hurl abuse at a pedestrian, once again that's wrong and is a manifestation of road rage.)

ivykaty44 · 26/02/2018 08:37

Motorists need to slow down as teens don’t know the dangers and 20 is plenty, you don’t need to drive at 30 miles an hour around built up areas. Drivers should never put pedestrians at risk and if they want to drive faster there are motorways and dual carriageway to go at a faster pace

Unfortunately many motorist do speed and this raises 2.1 billion in speeding fines

About time motorists realised that driving incorrectly kills and ruins lives it’s shameful

ivykaty44 · 26/02/2018 08:42

Highway Code stipulates pedestrians have right if way at a junction and motorists should obey the rules of the road..

To think you don’t beep your horn at pedestrians with sleeping children in prams?
WitchesHatRim · 26/02/2018 09:01

Motorists need to slow down as teens don’t know the dangers

If course teens know the dangers!

LoniceraJaponica · 26/02/2018 09:01

If the driver had been driving round the corner of a junction they wouldn't have been driving at 30 mph would they?

We need a diagram

Iprefercoffeetotea · 26/02/2018 09:13

You were slowly crossing the road. An approaching car beeps their horn to alert you of their presence on the road

Pedestrians always have right of way. If it was safe to cross when they left the pavement a car driver who suddenly appears has to wait. It's a pity not more car drivers bear this in mind rather than simply expecting you to disappear. Obviously very different if you just walk out in front of someone.

And if you have time to beep, you have time to brake.

TempusEejit · 26/02/2018 09:24

ivykaty it specifically states that pedestrians have the right of way on junctions you are turning into, because the situation there is different in that you are joining a road that they are already on. Same principle behind the onus always being on the car pulling out from a side road onto a main road, not the cars already on the main road.

This was a straight crossroads so that rule wouldn't apply.

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