Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he desperate?

174 replies

Whatislife123 · 24/02/2018 22:36

Hello, what do you all make of this? I have been going to a public place, wont say where as possibly outing, with my DS and his father. Although me and DS' s father are not together we still go out as a family and may well look like we are in a relationship.
Anyway we go to this public place everyweek and a person that is employed there has made it very obvious that he likes me. He smiles and stares. The usual stuff to show he 'likes me'.
However in that time I have been pregnant and had my DD, which he is aware of, and he is still giving me hints that he 'likes me'. I also believe he thinks I like him as 2 years ago I stared at him for no particular reason but since then I have given him no 'hints'.
I do not get why this bloke would pursue me withme having two children and a 'partner'. AIBU unfair to think he is desperate

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 25/02/2018 01:36

Maybe he just likes babies? I smile at pregnant women because I'm pleased for them.

I don't want to shag them.

doesthislookoddtoyou · 25/02/2018 01:41

He's not pursuing you at all. I think you need to get over yourself.

Original poster
Whatislife123 · 25/02/2018 01:45

Maybe I am over thinking it but my ex partner has also noticed without me mentioning anything to him. Also I am very aware of when someone likes me and when they don't. Maybe I need to get out more. Thanks for all your replies

OP posts:
steff13 · 25/02/2018 01:45

I think remembering that you stared at someone once two years ago IS bonkers...

Agreed. And it's unlikely that he's thinking, "well she stared at me two years ago, she must be interested."

I don't think he's pursuing you. If he was, he'd actually, you know, pursue you. Certainly pursuing involves some sort of action other than looking and smiling. Maybe he's just friendly, maybe he's weird, who knows?

doesthislookoddtoyou · 25/02/2018 01:48

Also I am very aware of when someone likes me and when they don't

You may think this, but you have no way to tell. You may be convinced someone likes you but how do you actually know? You don't, unless they actually tell you. You're just telling yourself what you want to hear, could be total nonsense. Sounds like it,.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 25/02/2018 08:02

Persuing you?? Hardly! He works in a customer facing environment and smiles at you, I think you'll find that's his job. Do you often think people are after you?
Ps. Even though I answered your post, I'm not interested in you.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2018 08:08

I’m not sure what the issue is then if you admit he isn’t pursuing you.

He may just be like that with the opposite sex. Just a bit awkward.

Maybe he does think you’re attractive but he’s done nothing about it other than look...

What’s he done wrong?

APontypandyPioneer · 25/02/2018 08:30

If you put it in context

  • he's a customer service person so needs to be friendly, encourage repeat custom ec
  • he's seen you frequently for 2 years so recognises you and may well be a polite person acknowledging your presence.
  • he stared at you once.

If you're waiting for him to make a move you might be waiting a while. He's either shy or just not that into you.

But he certainly isn't desperate if 2 years on all that's happened is a stare. Confused

Coconutspongexo · 25/02/2018 08:33

You sound like a teenager

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2018 08:34

I'm sorry, but I think you're the one who's coming across desperate. Some bloke smiles and looks at you and you decide he's pursuing you and Post about it on mumsnet. Honestly, stop over thinking it.

If you fancy him go without your child's father and see if he approaches you. If not, forget about it.

Original poster
Whatislife123 · 25/02/2018 09:33

Maybe I am over thinking things and I do have a habit of being over analytical at times. Well I think him being awkward around the opposite sex seems like the best explanation. Like I have already said my ex has noticed that he constantly stares at me without me mentioning it to him. So it is not all in my head. Thanks for the replies😀

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatislife123 · 25/02/2018 09:38

And no, I do not think every guy who looks at me fancies me, after all we do have eyes and look around.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 25/02/2018 09:40

Easy way to solve It, go without your dp and children and see if he makes a move! (and I don't mean just a stare)

x2boys · 25/02/2018 09:43

Maybe he smiles because he sees you in the same place every week? , every morning when I take my son to his school mini bus I see a couple of familiar faces who smile and say good morning I don't think they are in any way attracted to me
.

SparklyMagpie · 25/02/2018 09:50

Who's to say your ex isn't one of those who get jealous if even another human being looks and smiles at You?

I know my ex would be if a guy smiled at me just once Hmm

I'm not getting this vibe at all from what you've said, sounds like he's just being polite...and to think about it for 2 years Confused

Zaphodsotherhead · 25/02/2018 10:05

Have you tried going there on your own to see if he tries to strike up a conversation?

Saying that, I'm in a customer facing role and laugh and joke with all my customers, and have heard that half the men think I fancy them. I really don't. It's just my job.

TheJoyOfSox · 25/02/2018 10:07

Can you find any ther place to visit as a family? He comes across as a bit creepy!

starbrightnight · 25/02/2018 10:07

Some people do just stare. I've had that and brush it off as meaningless, or they think I have an interesting appearance or something.
Some people are just friendly, especially if you see them regularly in the same place. This sounds like a mixture of the two - staring and being friendly

If he was a little old lady who smiled and stared and looked friendly would you not think she was just being friendly? I don't get what is different here - no actual innuendos or flirting mentioned as far as I remember.

Coconutspongexo · 25/02/2018 10:24

TheJoyOfSox

Can you find any ther place to visit as a family? He comes across as a bit creepy!

No he doesn’t.

Mammyloveswine · 25/02/2018 10:27

Does he speak to you op? I Think you are being a bit OTT it not... also he might be thinking you started a game of "wink murder" when randomly stared at him.for no particular reason two years ago (as you do...).

Honestly makes me laugh at how many people think they are so irresistible! Op if hes making you genuinely uncomfortable then have a word with the manager, although it does seem the poor guy is just doing his job...

PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 10:50

Ok maybe you aren’t weird. Maybe you just look weird and he’s very rude to keep staring.

Btw- it’s McDonald’s isn’t it? He serves you in McDonald’s.

Original poster
Whatislife123 · 25/02/2018 10:55

And no it's not mcdonalds. And no I DO NOT HAVE A WEIRD APPEARANCE. I would say I am attractive with lovely skin and hair. With all my own teeth tooGrin So not surprised he stares

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2018 10:57

Maybe he’s adopted and wondering if your his sister mother

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2018 10:57

You’re! Ffs

Original poster
Whatislife123 · 25/02/2018 10:57

And there is nothing wrong with finding yourself irresistible.Blush

OP posts: