To not announce the sex of baby...

[spongebobsquareface]

I just want to keep it between ourselves, last time we told relatives what we were having and I regretted it afterwards because I was enjoying it just being mine and DH's little secret! It can be wrong anyway, so I'm not sure what all the fuss is about?!

SIL and "D"Sis are due a couple of weeks before and have both announced theirs. SIL is fine and just happy our babies are close. My sister not so much and has kicked off because apparently she told me so I should tell her this was never agreed prior to her telling me so I'm not sure why her knickers are in such a twist. She's mentioned several times that the names can't be the same or even slightly similar, so I'm assuming she's worried they'll be the same sex. She is a spoiled brat, always has been and behaves like a 2 year old at the best of times, hence why we aren't close. This has resulted in my mum giving me the cold shoulder, which isn't a shock at all to be honest but still upsets me nonetheless.

Am I really being that unreasonable? Apparently it's causing her stress so they can't understand why I wouldn't! We're not planning any more babies and I just really wanted to keep it quiet this time.

Tell them all you don’t know and have done with it?

Do they know that you know?
If Not, can you just say that you have decided not yo find out?

We did this, except only I knew, OH didnt want to know

YANBU. No ones business but yours and plenty of people keep the sex quiet until the baby arrives.

I was going to say what teapot said

YANBU. Your baby, your choice!

No one cares except you. People just ask to be polite. But refusing to tell is daft, just say you don't know.

I take it they know you know? With the power of hindsight I bet you wish you never told them you were finding out!
I absolutely wouldn't tell them. It's your baby, not your sisters. Quite frankly it's none of her business at the moment.
You only have to tell people things when you're good and ready. Just tease her by listing names that can be either boys or girls names like 'alex', 'jamie', 'ashley' etc

Say you didn’t find out.

It’s a bit silly to say you know but are keeping it to yourselves. I can see why that would annoy people.

YANBU. We lied and said we didn’t know with DD1 (we did). This time we’ve been honest and said we know but aren’t telling anyone. Immediate family know but no one else, but no one has made us feel bad for not letting on. It’s entirely up to you who you tell.

Tell them it's a kitten.

Oh please.

Few things are more smug nor boringly self important than the couple who put there head to one side and say 'we do know but were not telling anyone'. Just say you don't know. You are vastly overestimating peoples interest in the contents of your stomach.

I stupidly said we're finding out, but decided to keep it to ourselves this time. I didn't expect such a ridiculous reaction to be honest, I wish I hadn't told them. DH said we can just say they couldn't see the sex this time, but it's a high risk pregnancy and I'll have lots of other scans and with dc1 they used to freely discuss the sex at each scan to double check, so they'll know I'm lying.

Also I don't feel like I should have to lie.

Just say you changed your mind at the last minute and decided not to find out.

Why would you enjoy it being you and your DH's little secret? I really don't see the point. Is it a self-esteem thing that you need to feel you're special?

And I wonder why your sister would be worried about similar names. Weird worry from someone who's supposed to be a spoiled brat and act like a 2 year old.

I don't need to feel special. I just feel that last time as soon as we told them they went into overdrive and tried to take over at every opportunity and if I'm honest this is probably why I don't want them to know.

No you said you enjoyed it being your little secret. No one cares.

You look like a smug sanctimonious idiot by saying ... we know but we’re not going to tell you. Like you want to do a big reveal at the end. No one single person gives a shit.

Why do posters keep saying nobody gives a shit when OP's sister and mum clearly do, or they wouldn't be giving her this much grief?

@MermaidTailUnicornHorn have you not read my posts? They clearly give some shits because they've not stopped having a go at me about it.

This is weird. You could have just said you're not finding out but instead making it all secretive and dramatic.

Keep it to yourself if you want. Don't give in to your SIL. My brother & SIL found out the sex both times when she was pregnant and told no-one. Thankfully no-one minded.

If you haven't had the scan yet I'd just say you've changed your mind and have decided not to find out.

I think people do care though.

Even those who you aren't close to, you often wonder "oh I do wonder what she's having!" And the surprise at the birth is a bigger reveal, in my opinion

Some of your family sound annoying OP. Find out and say you know, but don't tell them you didn't find out! Tell them you did and it's between you and DH

It'll be the perfect wind up

Yes the secretive element is just a bit knobbish, oooooh yes we do know but I'm not telling.... Whatever
Either tell them or say you don't know.

Just say you decided last minute not to find out as suggested?

Saying what you said was a bad idea and makes you look precious even though you may have good reason to keep it secret.

You don't have to tell anyone but I think you'll look more of a dick saying you know but won't tell.

Christ it wasn't like I looked at them with a head tilt and irritating smile on my face and smugly said "we're finding out, but are keeping it a big surprise for everyone else" followed by another smug grin.

It literally slipped out, as soon as a saw their reactions and realised what I said, I wished I hadn't said anything. I'm not planning a huge reveal or anything.