Tv in room of a 3 year old

[IAmMumWho]

Our 3 year olds have a tv in their room, they share.

My moan is DH let's them watch it on a weekend morning so he can get extra sleep. I'm up from 6am every morning and sometimes don't hear the kids in their room talking or whatever.

I don't like him putting it on, would rather he

1. come down with them and watch lounge tv
2. bring them down go back to bed and they watch lounge tv.

I don't think kids at that age should have a tv in their room. What is everyone else's thoughts on this. I never did so I think that's why I have a negative view on the matter.

Just to make it clear it's for a Saturday and Sunday morning only while DH gets extra sleep. Not every morning! As I'm the main carer when he's at work so I don't let it happen

Why are you ignoring all the posts that say you need to talk to your husband?

Blimey! You really need to chill out a bit 🙄

Totally agree with this

*Today 08:51 ShapelyBingoWing

TBH OP, it sounds like in general the household is run your way and the parenting is done your way. And your way seems to take every waking minute from 7am. Perhaps the TV is his way of trying to relax the household a bit. Try having a lie in with him at the weekends. You might enjoy the rest.*

"And your way seems to take every waking minute from 7am. Perhaps the TV is his way of trying to relax the household a bit."

Did you miss the point about them having 3 year old twins?

I'm noone's idea of mother of the year, but even I think that children that young need a parent to get up with them.

You can't lay in bed until 11am and leave 3 year olds wandering about unsupervised, hungry and in last night's stinking nappies. It's neglectful.

With the three year olds watching TV in their room you could even have some morning sex.

I totally agree with the PP who said this isn’t a tv and 3 year olds problem. It’s a communication with your husband problem.

You seem to be a point scorer- I do all the housework (which you actually seem to do far too much of-I have a huge house and four kids and don’t do three washes a day!) and I get up at 7 am every day so you must as well... even though I’m assuming he IS up Monday to Friday to go and work to pay for your large home and the 2.5 days of childcare and the shopping you buy etc.
You should be a team and you don’t sound like at all. He undermines your choice of no TV and you ignore or belittle his desire for a long lie.

Stop bloody cleaning your house and talk to your husband like two grown ups. Let the kids come down the stairs at 7.30 and leave him sleeping til 9. Then wake him up and spend the morning together doing family fun stuff.
Or use the TV in the kids room to give you time together in bed!

What time does your husband usually get up for work? Maybe he just wants a bit of a rest...this does seem a bit 'me me me' here.

I don't agree with kids having TV's in bedrooms either though. But if you are removing the TV, taking off the plug etc and he's just putting it back (are you really? Honestly?) then your issue is wider than that. It's about you both wanting different things and not communicating.

TELL him what you think. Let him tell you what he thinks. I reckon the poor bloke wants a lie in with his wife while the kids are contained and not emptying the kitchen cupboards under cover of Paw Patrol or whatever.

I don't think a TV is the worst thing in the world unlime a lot of MNers but I don't let my children have one in their bedrooms.
It seems odd that your husband wants to keep them in their room watching TV when you're up and about downstairs.

Did you miss the point about them having 3 year old twins?

No, I didn't. But if they were wandering about, the OP would know that they were up. If they were wandering about, the OP wouldn't have told us they're watching TV. They're not wandering about. They're watching a TV that their DF has put on for them. If this was a safety issue, OP would be keeping an ear out for them and bringing them downstairs.

To all who mentions speak to DH

I have on many occasions, gets us nowhere, tend to bicker. Granted tv has only been in 5 months. Maybe it's a agree to disagree situation, I don't know.

Only wanted opinions which I've received highly. So thanks to all who have commented.

I will take some things on board and maybe try and lay in myself too and slow down I've always been an early riser and had routines.

To those who asked what DH does housework wise, nothings more of a handy man DH will do DIY stuff in or to the house. Like fitting the areal or rewiring

@Zaphodsotherhead

He's up at 8 during the week but doesn't get to bed till after 1.

"If this was a safety issue, OP would be keeping an ear out for them and bringing them downstairs."

Yes. Because she's awake, and downstairs pottering about- instead of lying in bed with her "poor" husband, relaxing the household a bit.

I really can't see how anyone can read this and not immediately grasp that the problem is him lying in bed all morning like Lord fucking Muck every weekend, instead of getting up and parenting his small children.

@SaucyJack

At your previous post they don't wear nappies Hun, they use the toilet but we still wipe their bottoms.

I really can't see how anyone can read this and not immediately grasp that the problem is him lying in bed all morning like Lord fucking Muck every weekend, instead of getting up and parenting his small children.

If our two had stayed in bed for an hour, watching the tele, when they were 3 both me and DH would have taken advantage of it, tbh. Yes the bloke should get up before 11 but I can’t say I blame him for having a bit of a lie in.

I agree, coming across as point scoring. TV became my best friend when my kids were little. I became a single FT working mum in a demanding job with no support when they were 1 and 4. They were both up from 5am, so frankly, if watching TV meant that I could remain sane, then I was going to make the best of it. The TV wasn't in their bedroom, but they made the living room very much their bedroom so it wasn't that different.

I'm pleased to say that DD is about to go to medical school in September and she has been way too busy with working, volunteering, studying, doing sport etc... to watch TV in the past years and she doesn't even have one in her bedroom. DS is doing very well at school, involved in various activity, and although he has a TV in his room, he really only used it to play Xbox like most boys his age and doesn't care much for TV programmes. Getting up at 5am though, there wasn't much for him to watch but Spanish football and at 6, he knew more about Spanish team than the Premiership, and at 15, he still supports Spain in Euro/World cup!!

Chill out, your relationship with your husband will make much more of a positive impact on your kids than then watching TV on week-end mornings.

Well that's tough shit if he doesn't go to bed until 1am. He still has to get up. You EACH need one lay in at the weekend he needs to make his own lunch and do his own washing as a bare minimum. If you cook, he washes up.

And remove the tv from DCs room. Tell DH unless he steps up with co parenting he doesn't get to dictate that a tv goes in the room. He can get up with the and lounge on the sofa while they watch tv. Or better still get them reading books when they wake up.

My initial feeling on this was that it’s fine and that you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. While my kids don’t have TV sets in their rooms, a lot of kids do and it’s hardly the worst thing in the world. I used to plonk mine in front of the box and catch an extra hour on the sofa of a weekend and when it was his turn to get up, so did dh. I can see no problem with him using the box for a bit of extended shut-eye on a Sunday...sometimes it’s all you need to save your sanity.
However, if he’s leaving them to it for hours, that changes play somewhat. Lying there till 11 is pretty awful...not only is it selfish and negligent, it’s a waste of a day! The day is half over by the time he decides to make an appearance. Grabbing an extra hour is one thing...wasting your free time stewing in your pit for hours while your kids watch telly in their bedroom is another. Hardly inspiring parenting is it?
So yabu AND nbu.

I'm supportive on the no tv in room thing but this is a very odd thread. Why does your opinion on it matter less than DH's? And it all sounds a bit Stepford Wife to me around the housework. Sorry.

My 4 and 6 year old share a room. We recently got a new tv downstairs so they have the 32" that was originally there. They only have a dvd player attached.. but they only watch it on a Friday and Saturday night.

They both know how to work the tv downstairs and will go downstairs as soon as they wake up. They don't really play in their bedroom, they prefer downstairs.

But it means I get to sleep a bit longer! Which at 34wk pregnant, I'm quite happy about!! I'll do what I can for an easy weekend!

I really can't see how anyone can read this and not immediately grasp that the problem is him lying in bed all morning like Lord fucking Muck every weekend, instead of getting up and parenting his small children.

Because different people often have differing opinions.

I, for example, don't hold the opinion that he should be allowed to stay in bed until 11. But nor do I think the only alternative is for him to wake at 7 when the OP would normally get up. It's weekend. They could easily both stay in bed until 9ish, put some TV on for the kids and tell them to come through to their bedroom if they get hungry beforehand. That isn't neglectful, just relaxed, and works perfectly for my 3yo.

I have friends with 3 DC, 7, 4 and 6m, and on weekends they take turns having a lie in to 10:30 while the other tends to the kids. That's what works for them.

I certainly wouldn't be starting the day as a family at 7am at weekends. That's not a reasonable expectation if both parents aren't on board. But saying I don't really agree with the OP's way of doing things doesn't mean I think the DH is necessarily right either.

We didn’t let 15 year olds have television in their bedrooms let alone three year olds.
There is very good research that shows children who have a television in their bedrooms achieve worse outcomes at school, unsurprisingly.

He's taking the living piss!

What's he doing till 1am?

all me as I am their mum.

And he is their father, I presume?

YABU for using “hun” and “hubby.”

Things will change as the DC get older. When mine were 3 we had to be at the swimming pool at 8.30am on a Saturday for their swimming lessons.
By the time they were five we had to be up and out by 10am for junior football.
Suddenly the weekend becomes a whirl of driving about and doing stuff and nobody was lying in bed half the day.

Then they become teens and the DC are the ones lying in bed all morning.