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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for trans threads to stay in Feminism?

345 replies

yawning801 · 23/02/2018 17:11

Just that, really. This isn't meant to start a debate, or be goady in any way. I've just hidden the Feminism board to avoid the trans threads but they're seeping into AIBU (like this one I suppose Grin) and other places too and I'm trying to avoid them! Can we keep trans threads in Feminism please? TIA

OP posts:
SpringHen · 23/02/2018 19:56

I've read plenty of these threads recently and I can honestly say I don't think I've seen any man hating comments on them.

But plenty of posts saying that boys should be allowed to wear dresses and play with dolls WITHOUT being channelled into chemical and surgical castration fast tracks.....

....I would say that that is the OPPOSITE of boy/man hating personally

beepthemeep · 23/02/2018 19:57

Can we keep women in women only spaces?

When we can do that, YWNBU!

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 23/02/2018 20:00

hibbledibble - They also aren't willing to engage in intelligent debate, but simply insult anyone who does not agree with their hard-line opinion.

Wow!!😮😮 This is the biggest lie I have ever read on this site! People opposing self-ID have put across the most intelligent, sane and reasoned arguments and NOT ONCE has the opposing side done the same. Not once! They just shout about haters and bigots.😴

PencilsInSpace · 23/02/2018 20:01

There are a fuckton of trans threads at the moment.

This is because the debate is finally hitting the mainstream and lots of 'live and let live, I support people having a tough time' people (which is where the vast majority of us started out) have begun to notice what's actually going on and are going WTAF!?!

SpringHen · 23/02/2018 20:05

Oh and as for man hating, if gay men were told that they now had to have sex with man-vaginas, I would be "hell no"ing right there with them!
Funnily enough this isn't happening to gay men
So I'm just "hell no"ing at lesbians being told to Fuck and suck lady penises instead!
Where's the "man hating" in that?

whoputthecatout · 23/02/2018 20:06

With us just having the 100 year celebration of (partial) votes for women, this reminds me a lot of the suffragette and suffragist movements. Women fighting for women's rights while many of the female population put their fingers in their ears and went lalalala yawn.

Funny that because once women won the right to vote all the lalalalas piled in and voted without too much acknowledgement of the all the work and suffering that other women put in on their behalf. It was just the war what done it etc.

This is a bit like it in reverse. Lots of lalalala while, in this case on MN, mainly feminists are fighting to point out the unintended consequences and collatarial damage that will be done to women's rights if these absurd and damaging GRA proposals go ahead. Yet, if we manage to stop them will the lalalalas give a nod our direction? Nah. They'll probably say it was never going to going to happen anyway.

Jeez I despair of women sometimes.

AnxiousPeg · 23/02/2018 20:08

I really wish hibbledibble would come back to defend that drivel he/she spouted.

Fuggit · 23/02/2018 20:11

I have to admit that I am getting bored of all the (endless) threads on this topic.
Although the new craze of 'peak transing' is quite amusing. People falling over themselves to report to their cronies 'I peak transed my Granny/hairdresser/dog etc... ' Hmm

IveGotStupidHair · 23/02/2018 20:12

Yabu. I never used to really read the feminist boards as everyone seemed a bit too clever and I didn’t really follow tbh. But, having read about trans issues on other parts of this forum I found it incredibly interesting, depressing and frustrating. MN is one of the only places that it is being discussed calmly, clearly and, most importantly, by women.

Bishybarnybee · 23/02/2018 20:13

I have been lurking on mumsnet for months because I forgot my password and this thread has finally motivated me to get off my arse and get my password changed. And no, I haven't read the whole thread but I'm guessing the first couple of pages will just have been repeated ad infinitum.

You are not alone in being baffled and worried by the level of vitriol in the anti trans threads. I just don't get it. I can see why there might be some concerns, but the level of hatred and obsession with it is almost incomprehensible to me.

Some of it conjures up a vision of defenceless fragile women unable to cope in the real world - that absolute hysteria that we might unknowingly be getting changed in a cubicle next door to a penis. It's like we are reverting to Victorian maidens.

And so little compassion for people who may be really struggling to find themselves.

Why a woman would choose to make it the defining issue of her feminism, I cannot imagine. Other than that the moral high ground is such a very enjoyable place to occupy.

I think it gives feminism and mumsnet a bad name. I am getting to the point where I would hesitate to mention I am a mumsnet user without qualifying it that I am not one of "those" mumsnet users.

So - I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think its very depressing that so many threads keep re hashing the same old arguments. I'd love to know what proportion of mumsnet users feel strongly either way. In the real world I know a couple of very gentle trans people and I don't know anyone who feels as strongly as the posters on here.

I'm sure this will go down as well as the original thread......

AnxiousPeg · 23/02/2018 20:13

Ha ha. How amusing Fuggit

How witty you must be.

soapboxqueen · 23/02/2018 20:14

YABU. If you aren't interested in the massive impact Self-ID will have on everyone, particularly women or the rank misogyny, homophobia and racism of the TA movement, just don't look at it. We'll carry on regardless.

Beetlejizz · 23/02/2018 20:15

Some of it conjures up a vision of defenceless fragile women unable to cope in the real world - that absolute hysteria that we might unknowingly be getting changed in a cubicle next door to a penis.

If it's conjuring that up to you, there might be a problem with your interpretation rather than the actual posts themselves. Just a thought.

SpringHen · 23/02/2018 20:16

I have to admit that I am getting bored of all the (endless) threads on this topic.

Oh me too, I'm fed up with hearing of sportswomen being beaten to a pulp by transwomen in contact sport that should be sex segrigated, fed up of hearing about children who just play with whatever toys they like being lined up for future puberty blockers, by kids being told backwards harmful lies

I'm fed up with it and I hope it stops!

SpringHen · 23/02/2018 20:18

And so little compassion for people who may be really struggling to find themselves.

Wrong.

TONNES of compassion for children who don't confirm
Paired with anger about them being told that if you don't confirm with gender stereotypes then you should switch to the opposite sex so you fit more neatly with the associated steriotypes.

AnxiousPeg · 23/02/2018 20:20

I think it gives feminism a bad name Grin

That pretty much guarantees it's right on the money then!

CertainHalfDesertedStreets · 23/02/2018 20:20

Yet, if we manage to stop them will the lalalalas give a nod our direction? Nah. They'll probably say it was never going to going to happen anyway.

^This

I've been thinking the same. They'll say 'See? Nothing to worry about.'

IveGotStupidHair · 23/02/2018 20:20

Bishy I get the impression you haven’t read many of the threads about it. Personally I’m not too fussed if there’s a man using the cubicle next to me although I can completely see why some women and girls would. My particular issue is males competing against females in sport. I have a very sporty teenage daughter. She’s not yet 15 and there is a male that competes in her category. The ruling body can’t do anything because he says that he’s a girl. If he continues to compete (and win, obviously) we will lose a whole generation of girls competing in this particular sport. That’s why I think it is a bad thing. If you could explain to me why you think that particular issue is beneficial for women I would be very interested.

Garmadonsmum · 23/02/2018 20:21

Some of it conjures up a vision of defenceless fragile women unable to cope in the real world - that absolute hysteria that we might unknowingly be getting changed in a cubicle next door to a penis. It's like we are reverting to Victorian maidens
Nope, it's not in a cubicle next door it's beside you in the communal changing room or shower
Surely you realise that? Confused

PositivelyPERF · 23/02/2018 20:23

Blimey! We really have had an influx of MRAs/TRAs here, haven’t we.

Isn’t it awful Fuggit? All those people out there being given the information that TRAs want to keep quiet, must be very upsetting for all the TIMs. I’ll continue peak transing others, just so you can continue your girly manly giggling.

AnxiousPeg · 23/02/2018 20:23

Those who can't understand the strength of feeling about this... I'm sorry - have you seen the hatred/threats levelled at women on this issue??Do you have any idea what is going on?

PositivelyPERF · 23/02/2018 20:29

I must admit I have a chuckle when I see another hide all the tran’s threads because it always opens up another opportunity to educate others on the risks of self ID. Thank you for starting this thread, OP. 😁

blackberryfairy · 23/02/2018 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ButteredScone · 23/02/2018 20:36

YAB- a bit - U but not completely.

I left MN for a while after Brexit because it was full of Brexit threads. I voted

ButteredScone · 23/02/2018 20:38

...for Brexit and I found MN had become so remoany that I felt unwelcome. I imagine it could be like that for someone not bothered about the trans thing.

(And I say this as someone VERY bothered about the trans thing)