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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to sisters meal tonight?

109 replies

Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 07:57

Today is my sister's birthday and she's selected a place to go tonight to eat with the family. Instead of asking she's assumed and picked a time of half 6 to meet at hers then walk down to the place.
My D'S hasn't been very well these past few days. He has been running a high fever/irritable/clingy/snotty. We both haven't slept much. AIBU to not want to go tonight if my DS is still under the weather?
7pm is usually his bed time and the poor guy I think will be knackered! Especially eating at that late time too

OP posts:
Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 07:58

Sorry forgot to mention he's 20 months old

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 23/02/2018 07:59

Have you no partner to lool after him?

Jamboree05 · 23/02/2018 07:59

How long ago was this birthday celebration organised?

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 08:00

No I'm a single parent so that's not an option unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 08:01

She told me about 9pm last night about it

OP posts:
Millybingbong · 23/02/2018 08:01

What is the actual problem? It is not late to eat.

You just don't want to go do You?

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 08:03

The problem is he's still not 100% well and still has a fever. So I feel bad dragging him out as I know he will be tired. If he was well I wouldn't have an issue

OP posts:
Jamboree05 · 23/02/2018 08:04

Can you take a car seat or something bubba likes to sleep in and have him at the side of the table snoozing?

If he's not feeling well and you're exhausted, it's a perfectly legit reason not to go but do you really want to piss your sister off?

Alternatively, text her back and ask her to make the reservation slightly earlier.

OuchBollocks · 23/02/2018 08:05

Would I fuck be dragging a miserable poorly 1 year old out to dinner. He'll just scream the whole way through until he falls asleep in the high chair. That's no fun for anyone. A polite refusal and arrange to see her and give a gift over the weekend is needed here.

Jammycustard · 23/02/2018 08:05

I wouldn’t go and my sister would understand and vice versa.

RollTopBath · 23/02/2018 08:06

The child isn’t well so of course you shouldn’t go. However you should have told her that when she was making arrangements.

MaxPepsi · 23/02/2018 08:08

Hi sis. Really sorry but DS is still not well. Don't want him ruining your meal out or getting worse, so we will have to miss out on tonight.
Have a fab time.

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 08:08

My sister takes things very personally so a bit worried on her reaction. But I was thinking maybe offer to take her out for dinner when D'S is better?

OP posts:
Thedogsmells · 23/02/2018 08:09

I would not be going. It was arranged last night, it isn't a long standing thing. Suggest a lunch or takeaway at yours instead. I hate being summoned places

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 08:09

rolltop she knew he was poorly and I didn't know she was arranging anything until last night at 9pm

OP posts:
Liskee · 23/02/2018 08:10

If I took my nearly 20 month old out at that time when he’s poorly then no one at the table would be having any fun. No one needs subjected to that!

Sack it off, and perhaps promise a smaller celebration when DS feels better.

HolyMountain · 23/02/2018 08:11

Who are you more obligated to? If my boy was ill and irritable he’d be the most important person to consider.

If she’s stroppy let her stew.

pinkdelight · 23/02/2018 08:12

It's fine to say no, but it's cos your dc is poorly not cos she's being unreasonable. 6:30pm is an early start for an evening out. If you can't get childcare offer to take her to lunch at the w/e. It can't be that big a deal if it was only organised last night.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 23/02/2018 08:12

Well it is her birthday meal so she doesn’t need to ask your permission for timings. If it’s a genuine one off that DS is ill then don’t go.

But it does sound to me like you just don’t want to go and are making excuses. A 20 month old can have the odd late night.

CurcubitaPepo · 23/02/2018 08:12

I certainly wouldn’t take him. That wouldn’t be fun for anyone.

DenPerry · 23/02/2018 08:13

No I wouldn't take an unwell baby out to a late meal (late for him!) it's best all round for everyone. If someone didn't understand that then they are dim.

seeingdots · 23/02/2018 08:13

Tbh I don't think family should expect you to be able to make evening events with a 1 yo and nobody else to look after him at home. I did this for a family bday with my 1 yo, against my better judgement. It was a shitshow and I felt terribly guilty. And that was without her being under the weather. Don't do it, and don't feel bad about it!

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 23/02/2018 08:15

I have long learnt (3 children on) to say no to this kind of thing. If she is pissed off she is pissed off. Tbh i wouldn’t even go if he was well and I had to take him. Terrible eve for all with an over tired child and you get the brunt of it.

Hi Sis, really sorry but I won’t be able to make tonight after all, I had hoped DS would recover enough to come but unfortunately he is still really under the weather. Let’s go out next week?

Sirzy · 23/02/2018 08:19

Did you not sat last night “well x isn’t well so it depends how he is feeling?”

NerrSnerr · 23/02/2018 08:23

I wouldn't go, to be honest I'd be reluctant even if he was well. Toddlers are fine having a late night but a tired toddler in a restaurant isn't fun for anyone.

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