To not want to go to sisters meal tonight?

[Peachyfizz]

Today is my sister's birthday and she's selected a place to go tonight to eat with the family. Instead of asking she's assumed and picked a time of half 6 to meet at hers then walk down to the place.
My D'S hasn't been very well these past few days. He has been running a high fever/irritable/clingy/snotty. We both haven't slept much. AIBU to not want to go tonight if my DS is still under the weather?
7pm is usually his bed time and the poor guy I think will be knackered! Especially eating at that late time too

If he’s ill don’t go. Must admit it does sound more like he’s just at the tail end of a snotty cold and you’re looking for an excuse. You could always feed him earlier and let him sleep in his buggy. You are an adult and it basically boils down to whether you want to go or not. How old is your sister, is she still a child or an adult?

I don’t think a fever is an excuse, it’s a pretty genuine reason not to go. I wouldn’t. You also risk making everyone else ill.

Does she live near enough, that you could nip round at tea time with some flowers, and tell her why you can't make it ?
If she takes Umbrage, let her get on with it, you're putting your child first, that is to be commended.

Stay cuddled up at home with your bubba. Hope he feels better soon.

'Did you not sat last night “well x isn’t well so it depends how he is feeling?”'

??

If someone arranges something with no consultation and tells you, you are under no obligation to go

Sorry posted too soon

I'm sure if you've mentioned your dc is poorly she will totally understand

If he is ill especially a fever then dont go. Its not fair on him or you and its not fair on other diners if your poorly baby meltsdown.

Is there a history with your sister being unreasonable and demanding?

My sister takes things very personally

Oh dear. Is that why she springs things on you last minute and then tantrums when she doesn't get her own way?

Stay home. If she tantrums just say 'Apparently it is illegal to leave children home alone at 20 months, and he is not leaving the house as he is sick so you are just going to have to deal with it'.

Just tell her your ill.
Tell her the child has thrown up and so your not going.
Just keep repeating this,

20 months was a spectacularly awful age for my youngster in restaurants. Even when she wasn’t tired or a bit sick. Mine certainly wasn’t one of those happy to nap in a pram or sit happily in a high chair. It was excruciating enough just the two of us having lunch somewhere public.
No matter how arsey a relative got about me declining something it was still less stressful than me juggling toddler, not being able to eat and dealing with meltdowns. No fun for anyone.
Things are different 6 months down the track... but back then? A big fat hell no!

It sounds like she’s chosen a time earlier than most adults would eat probably with her nephew in mind. If that isn’t going to work for you because he’s I’ll tell her that now, plan something else with her and give her chance to make it an hour later so it’s easier for the adults to get there after work.

Did you agree to go last night or mention that DA was poorly?

Dear god! Who the hell would drag a sick toddler with a fever out for a meal arranged last night? It's not an excuse not to go it's a genuine reason not to go! Why are you so worried about pissing her off? She's an adult, she can get over your not being there because your son is ill. FFS. YANBU. Text her now that you're not going, fuck putting him in a car seat (At 20 months, none of mine, none of whom were ever referred to as 'bubs' or 'buba', either, would sit in one through a meal), or going out.

NO, big fat juicy NO, you'll have a horrible time and your baby won't behave because it's two hours past bedtime and he's ill. THEN you'll have to pay for the privilege of being judged in a restaurant for having an clearly not well and overtired baby out until 9pm

I would't take my 8 year old out at any time of day if she was feeling under the weather and needed to stay home, never mind my 2 year old when ill and at their normal bedtime.

If he wasn't ill, then fine - being out past bedtime won't hurt but not if he is sick. Tell her no and if she strops, ignore.

I don't know why the OP is getting a hard time from some. Who arranges a birthday meal the night before and expects everyone to jump to it?! Plus she was told the DS was ill.

Just don't go OP your child comes before a bratty sibling and you don't need to defend yourself to the ends of the earth.

Say you're worried he's got something contagious and you don't want him to pass it on. It's mean to take a child out when they are unwell.

You really really need permission not to go?

Seriously?

YRBVU just for asking.

let him sleep in his buggy
This certainly never worked for my DC.

he’s just at the tail end of a snotty cold and you’re looking for an excuse
If I was at the tail end of a snotty cold I wouldn’t want to go out for the evening and (not) sleep while everyone else enjoyed themselves, why would anybody think making an ill baby go out is a good idea?

It sounds like the flu. I definitely wouldn’t go.

I definitely would not be going. The children cime first esp when they at ill. Offer to do a takeaway at your house - it was only arranged last night so not exactly a long standing special date. I wouldn’t worry if she is annoyed that’s her problem, she should be more caring

Is she the golden child who can do no wrong and this will cause her and your parents to accuse you of being selfish?

Cant believe some of the post on here expecting you to take an ill toddler out for a fancy meal! And accusing you of making excuses not to go!

Who the hell expects that when they know the child is ill already?

Your child comes first. If she is that selfish she expects people just to jump when she says so then let her stew. Time she grew up.