To not want to go to sisters meal tonight?

[Peachyfizz]

Today is my sister's birthday and she's selected a place to go tonight to eat with the family. Instead of asking she's assumed and picked a time of half 6 to meet at hers then walk down to the place.
My D'S hasn't been very well these past few days. He has been running a high fever/irritable/clingy/snotty. We both haven't slept much. AIBU to not want to go tonight if my DS is still under the weather?
7pm is usually his bed time and the poor guy I think will be knackered! Especially eating at that late time too

It’s FINE to say DS isn’t well and will spoil her meal if you bring him, so you’re going to have to stay home. And offer alternatives - a takeaway at yours, lunch out another time etc.

She’s tried to make it possible for you - an early meal and a restaurant close by - but if it’s not possible this time you can say so! Just be nice about it but honest.

Don't go! Let's say you do go and your baby spends the evening crying? Who's going to enjoy the evening? Apologise and say you'll do something another time.

No no no. Text her to say DS is not well enough so you're not coming. Wish her a happy birthday and a nice evening and say you will see her soon.
Then ignore any tantrums, whining or pressure, just keep repeating, DS is not well, we are not coming.
No one with any sense wants an unwell, miserable baby at their restaurant table. If your DSIS is that much of a princess, emphasise that having him there will spoil the meal for her and her other guests and you want to spare her that.

willow - yes, a tantrumming adult takes precedence over a sick toddler....

Obvs, don't go. Prioritise your child. I'm surprised anyone needs this spelling out.

I don't think you are looking for an excuse not to go. I'm not sure why people always reach to that conclusion. You have a poorly baby.

If you think your Ds is too poorly to go tonight just say so. Surely she won't hold that against you?

If your child is poorly, he's poorly and that's that.

'Sorry sis but baby is really poorly (fever, maybe infectious?) and we're both too tired and ill to attend, don't take it personally, sorry but there it is. You'll have a better time without us. Will call on you when we've recovered and have a lovely time.'
If she takes it personally that's her problem, not yours.

No way would I go. Most tots are challenging enough in a restaurant after their normal bedtime, but when they’re not well it can be a nightmare and it’s totally unfair on DS.

She’s an adult, she’ll cope. If she’s a mardy arse just ignore her.

I think the time she's chosen is tricky enough for a child of that age personally, he will be tired and possibly cranky without being poorly. Sounds like she doesn't have children of her own.

I'm on the fence. Looking after a sick child is hard work.
I took mine out last night partly so we could eat without me stressing about making dinner with grumpy baby in arms or him squealing every time I sat him down.

If he's content in your arms then go.

I think that's different Avoiding though, you were just out with your DH ( presumably ) and not at someone's birthday meal. Also was your dc poorly?

Can they come to your for pre dinner drinks then send them on their merry way?

I can't believe so many would drag a toddler with a fever out for a late meal.

Just say sorry but child is too ill and would spoil it for sis...

Like hell I’d be taking an unwell baby with a fever to a restaurant.
id expect a decent adult to understand not whine what about me
If i was unwell with a fever I’d not drag myself to restaurant just to please folk

I started a similar thread a while back. I didn't go, expecting my 4 year old to sit down for a meal and behave himself through possibly 3 courses when he's normally getting ready for bed was too much.

The time alone would be too late, if he's ill I definitely wouldn't take him.

Why on Earth did she leave the arrangements so late? Sick child or not, if someone texted me at 9pm to make arrangements for the following evening I probably wouldn't be able to go.

Last year we went to the same place and he was then 8 months and was fine so isn't so much the time. Although now he's older he gets very cranky if hungry and tired so yes I can imagine he could be a nightmare even if not ill. Also last time he was just crawling so couldn't get out a high Chair etc. Id imagine he wouldn't want to sit in a high Chair this time. He will not fall asleep in q pram and where we are going there's no room for a pram to be beside any table.

My sister has form for this yes. She gets in moods over the smallest thing. And I can also imagine my parents trying to pressure me to go and say "oh he's not that bad dw, we want to see him".

You're a parent. This is not in your child's interests. Just say no.

Just say no - he's ill, he needs to stay home. If they are that desperate to see him they can call round at some point over the weekend.... Stand up for yourself and your child - it's ok to make decisions that are in your best interests, you don't always have to please your family.

I don’t even get home from work until after 6.30 so I think she’s chosen a perfectly decent, if not early, time to eat.

Then again if DS is unwell and you’re tired, they’re valid reasons not to go.

Your ds is unwell. He comes first. Don't go.

It’s quite simple, no one should take an unwell child out. No good for the child and not a good idea to go spreading viruses or germs to the rest of the community. There are plenty of vulnerable people out there who shouldn’t be exposed to it.

Quite simply your priority is the poorly baby not a churlish adult who might get the hump
And it sounds like your parents tippy toe around her to avoid any scenes
You don’t have to tippy toe you simply say sorry can’t attend as baby ill have a super time

My sister has form for this yes. She gets in moods over the smallest thing. And I can also imagine my parents trying to pressure me to go and say "oh he's not that bad dw, we want to see him"

In that case I'd probably tell a white lie and say he has actually vomitted or has diarrhoea. Nobody wants a pukey, shitty toddler at their birthday meal.