To ask who you feel is in best position/you'd want to be?

[sundowners]

Humour me. Its me and 2 friends. Not saying which I am.

Woman 1-
Works in successful, high powered city job. In a good marriage but often barely sees husband during week. 4 day week but work often spills over. Has 1 lovely child but stress of combining work/family has put her off having more/feels she has left it possibly too late as 40s anyway. But studied hard at Uni and carefully paved out her career ladder to get where she is and friends are envious of her career- has money, success and child but a lot of stress.

Woman 2- Late 30s, single with amazing media job/hangs out with celebs in glam places. Lots of travel/events/inflexible working hours so couldn’t continue current job is had a child. Lives in lovely flat by herself- loves the freedom of this. Loves her lifestyle but also always longed to settle down/have a family. Goes on dates but they never lead anywhere- feels pressure of clock ticking as most friends are or have married/had kids by now.

Woman 3- went to good uni and was ambitious but lots of short term job contracts in 20s/being made redundant meant she re-started at bottom of ladder. Then met her husband (successful/high earner) and has 2 lovely kids. Is in a middle of the road role but on 3 day week. Still feels resentment/shame/regret at working in mediocre role and frustrated at self for not establishing a better career prior to family to reflect her good education. But loves the flexibility of 3 day week/4 days at home with kids. Has no work or pressure to take home so can switch off.

I am 3 except I don't have any regrets. I love spending time with my son.

Can I say I would not want to be any of them?

I don't understand why woman 3 would feel shame at not having established a high-flying career when she has a lovely family and a relatively easy job which can fit around her hubby and kids. She's still an integral part of the family and very important to them.

1

All of them sound good.
I wouldn't be no 2 as by 30 I was married with 2 very much wanted children.
I then went part time as I knew working full time with no family to rely on would be difficult.
I was no 3 and wished I have kept my career but I didn't have the support to do it.
I was also recommended for doing a degree but with 3 dc and no decent childcare where I lived, didn't go for it.
Everyone has to deal with their circumstances.
My dd1 has told me that I am a wonderful mother and she could not have asked for more.
The downside of that is that I have more of a job than a career.
It does annoy me when people moan about work, take a step down then!
I don't think there is anything wrong v in either not having children or only having one.
If I was woman 1 I would stick to one child.
If no 2 I wouldn't worry about being single, it's not the end of the world not to have a partner.
I wouldn't want to be childless though, no amount of meeting so called celebrities would compensate for that.

Cant say which is the best as thats down to the individual living the life & what makes them happy.
I can relate to number three as that would be me without any guilt/ shame.

I took redundancy after I had my first child and am now in a part time job that fits around kids school hours.

Im happy with my life and feel the balance is right for me/ my family.

I’m number 3and happy to be number 3 . Number 2 sounds dreadful and I find the whole celebrity culture nauseating sonnumber 2 doesn’t appeal at all . Number 1 has the money and career but if she stress d and not content what’s the point .
Time or money ? Take your pick , it’s rare you get both

1. I'm like 3 in terms of working hours/responsibility and number of children, but I do a reasonably well paid skilled job and I love it. I think 3 still has the chance to retrain or find a career that suits her though.

If I was 1 I would have that 2nd child ASAP even if it impacted my career although I appreciate not everyone would feel the same.

If I was 1, I’d get out of the rat race and then have a try at the second - trying to have a second and juggle more without changes seems unwise.

But how many hours does 1 work a week? Is it 32 or 40? If it's near 32 that's hardly rat race hours? I agree with pp that said a lot of jobs are stressful even those that have crap pay. Does this high earner work 4 days and pay for house cleaning and other jobs?

I'd be whomever is the happiest. Happiness and health. What is everything else without these?

Ive been 1 - including the four day week and only child. It was incredibly stressful and I walked away from it all. I wouldn’t want to be 2 as family is important to me. So I’d choose 3.

Slane, I only worked 30 but it depends what you are doing, not just how much time you’re there. For example, if huge consequences rest on your decisions and there’s big ambiguity around the information for you to make those decisions, that could be stressful enough.

I'd want to be 3.
If her DH is a high earner she has the flexibility to change jobs or look at doing something she prefers when the kids are a little older.

1. Best of both worlds compared to the other two.

Two has a nice life but I'd like to be 3. My 1 and 2 type friends are either lonely or burnt out or have no life outside their jobs. I sometimes wonder where my ambition went but I do still have it, just in smaller, less outwardly obvious ways.

I wouldn't really want to be any of them. Of all the lifestyles, I'd prefer Woman 1, but I wouldn't be feeling upset about the lack of another child so that probably takes a lot of the negative out of it. I wouldn't want to be Woman 2 at all - celeb-adjacent life has almost nothing that I value in it! Woman 3 sounds kind of normal - shame she's so invested in the idea of career that it hurts her self-esteem, she has nothing to be ashamed of.

I think Jimbo's comment about wanting to be the most optimistic is probably the best way to think about these sorts of things - making the best of what you have is the way to have the best life you're ever going to get.

I would only want to be woman 3 and can't for the life of me work out why she cares about her job as long as it pays the bills.
Actually I'd like to be woman 4 who is a SAHM with a husband who earns enough to support the family but I'll go with 3 in this scenario.

I’d be 3.

I am 3 except for the regrets. No major regrets. I worked very hard for it too. No one paid for me. Now that I have my kids and a good marriage, I feel happy with what I have and what I see in my future work and life generally. Age is on my side too somewhat.
Woman 2 is facing the toughest situation in your scenarios.

I'm 3 too, but within no regrets, 4 DC and no part-time middle-of-the-road job.

1 doesn't appeal much and definitely not 2.

Woman 2 but never wanted kids or a full time partner so that has made all my decisions very much easier.

I’d choose to be number 3. If she’s thinking about having another child then I assume she is still young (I’d guess 40 or under?). She can make the most of her family life now when her kids are young and still have potentially 20 years left in which to relaunch her career. She can have it all, just not at the same time.
The other two might not be able to have the families they would like. If I was number one, I would always regret not having another child.
I don’t envy number two’s life at all, although I hope she is able to make the most of it while it lasts. Assuming her life will change dramatically when she settles down, it could be nice to have these years of freedom and travel to reflect on.

Woman 1 or 3.

I would hate to be woman 2