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AIBU?

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Original poster

to hate school proms

153 replies

MargoLovebutter · 22/02/2018 12:17

Maybe it is just my DD, but I cannot wait for her bastarding prom to be over. I think I am just about managing to feign interest, so that DD doesn't think I am a total killjoy, but it is doing my head in.

I am so fed up of talking about dresses, looking a photos of other girls dresses, going to try on dresses, ordering dresses, sending back dresses, getting dresses altered, looking at more photos of other girls dresses, talking about dresses....... OMG, she's going to wear it for 3 hours!!!!!!!

I am so fed up of talking about potential dates, other girls dates, dates that won't happen, dates that may happen, unsuitable dates, looking at photos of dates ......

I am so fed up of paying through the nose for so much bloody stuff for a 3 hour shin-dig - the dress, the shoes, the fake tan, the event itself, I drew the line at professional make up and I'm debating about professional hair dresser. Apparently a limo is now involved too, with everyone chipping in - the kids live, at most, 15 minutes away from the flipping venue!!!!!

I am also having to hear about pre-prom and after-prom. Whose allowed to have a drink, who isn't, which parents are trying to control alcohol intake, which parents aren't. Who is likely to try and sleep with who at after-prom, who will break up, who will get wasted, who won't drink, who will have a crap time, who will be smoking, who will try and smuggle in spirits, which teachers may try and go to after-prom and the endless speculation about collection time .......

Gah!

OP posts:
Ructation · 24/02/2018 23:42

We have FB pages offering to loan dresses to those in need plus lovely offers of hair and makeup for free - there are usually a few suits bags and shoes as well - loaned or given freely. Certainly saves waste!

Yes - this has long been a thing in the US. Are you in the UK? It's good to see this happening.

BadLad · 25/02/2018 04:56

How school-leaving has changed.

Once they were satisfied I hadn't forgotten anything I was just told to bugger off.

mathanxiety · 25/02/2018 06:34

What's odd is that that the UK seems to adopt the worst bits of American traditions

This^^

YY to the loaner dresses and shoes and evening bags and suits. My DCs' high school does this for the graduation attire too.

I can also confirm, after seeing three DDs and one DS off to prom, that endless discussion, fake tans, and dresses costing an arm and a leg are all 'optional elements' that very few take seriously. Prom time comes a few weeks after universities send out their offers, and that is the big topic around here, with hair and nails a distant second.

MiaowTheCat · 25/02/2018 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenTulips · 25/02/2018 08:02

Are you in the UK?

Yes I am!

This started here because a young lady couldn't afford a dress and was quite upset - so a relative started a group to help others. After all most dresses are just left hanging in the wardrobe never to be worn again.

Belindabauer · 25/02/2018 08:56

I disagree that the girls all look the same.
Dd1 was the only girl who wore her colour dress.
The risk you take if buying second hand/on line is that someone else will be in the same outfit but like I said the shops here do not sell the same dress twice.

Like a poster up thread said it's far more likely that your wedding dress is the same as someone else's. Cream strapless floor length wedding dresses are two a penny but no one moans about that.

dementedma · 25/02/2018 09:23

dd1 didn't go, dd2 sorted herself out with dress from ASOS and did her own hair and make up, DS probably won't bother when it comes round next year. If he does we will hire a kilt for him.

DD2 has just got engaged....now the fun really starts!

MsHarry · 25/02/2018 09:44

Prom=Ball=Party. Different words of the same thing.

MsHarry · 25/02/2018 09:45

DD's dress was online £65 and she was the only girl in in and only girl in that colour dress. If she wasn't she/I wouldn't have cared anyway!! Who does care?

IncyWincyGrownUp · 25/02/2018 09:56

Belinda they really do all look the same. Same styles of frock in a few muted colours, same hair, same makeup, same rictus grins.

Unless you’re personally invested in that particular prom as a parent you see a picture and would be hard pushed to make out an individual.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 25/02/2018 09:57

My daughter’s school do a prom. She’s planning on wearing a pair of haigh waisted tailored trousers and a dress shirt.

OakIsBetterTho · 25/02/2018 10:22

What I can't get over is how quickly it's escalated!! I left Year 11 in 2010 (16yo) and Year 13 in 2012 (18yo) and it was nothing like the same!
Yr11, I wore a second hand (albeit utterly beautiful) Karen Millen dress which cost £40 and paid £20 off to ride in a limo with my friends, hair and make up was done myself (when I say make up, I mean a bit of lipgloss and some mascara!). I didn't bother with the school organised party and we just had a house party instead.
Yr12, I wore a dress I already had, hair and make up done myself and we all went to the local and got my maths teacher fucked up on tequila 😂

Jaygee61 · 25/02/2018 10:55

Prom=Ball=Party. Different words of the same thing.

No not really. Not all parties involve formal evening wear, professionally styled hair and make up, limos etc.

LoniceraJaponica · 25/02/2018 10:57

Neither does prom Hmm

dementedma · 25/02/2018 11:33

dd stood out at hers as she seemed to be the only girl with dark hair! Everyone else was blonde, most of it dyed.

LadyLapsang · 25/02/2018 12:03

The joys of a son - brand new very expensive tux on ebay for £29 and the guy gave us a new shirt too as he had bought it for the evening of his wedding and subsequently put on weight. That saw him through sixth-form, five years of university and still fits today, although he has needed to buy new shirts. No fake tan required!

Myfavouritechild · 25/02/2018 12:10

Math we’ve only been here a few years and haven’t built up the cushion of savings that my DDs friends have, so I just see a waste of money that could go elsewhere. But I will be enthusiastic when the time comes. She and her friends will look beautiful and have a great time.

MsHarry in all the schools around me they have set up an Instagram account where everyone posts pictures of their dresses so no one will be wearing the same. They care very much here

Rhubarbginmum · 25/02/2018 12:24

I would be pleased she is confiding in you and discussing things with you. It definitely doesn’t sound like this is your thing but i would make an effort it is a big event in her life and it will pass and be a distant memory before you know it.
My DD is 13 and isn’t into make up, hair, clothes etc. I wish she was a tiny bit interested but she couldn’t care less and likes comfortable clothing. I hope she will be a little bit keen like your DD and share and have discussions with me when she is your DD’s age but whether she will be or not I don’t know.

Quorafun · 25/02/2018 12:30

I think you are fortunate that your dd wants to speak to you about all this. The grass is always greener on the other side. A child who tells a parent nothing at all is just as upsetting

Trendy1 · 25/02/2018 14:37

I defo agree with Rhubarb and Quorafun, hats off to girls who want to confide in mums! I didn't confide in my mum about major things in my life (going on the pill, etc) because she would have had a fit, however, my DD tells me everything, every little detail (no really)! And I revel in it. Rhubarbginmum - my DD was a bit of a tomboy, coming after DS, so wore all his clothes and was proud of it. Now, just leaving teenage years, is beginning to just look a little bit more girly. Hasn't stopped the boys chasing after her thou'. Funny that! Grin

MsHarry · 25/02/2018 15:42

Well Myfave they need to get their heads out of their own backsides!

MsHarry · 25/02/2018 15:44

No not really. Not all parties involve formal evening wear, professionally styled hair and make up, limos etc.

Not all prom goers have to conform to this ridiculous stereotype.

GreenTulips · 25/02/2018 16:15

The risk you take if buying second hand/on line is that someone else will be in the same outfi

Good lord! Will their heads fall off?

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 25/02/2018 16:27

I ended up palming a lot of the prom bolleaux off on MIL and my mum, who handled it better than me. MIL made her a dress.

By the time it rolled around, DD was almost bored of it, and found the prom itself underwhelming.

Belindabauer · 25/02/2018 16:31

Of course they won't greenTulips but I would say most people do not want to be wearing the exact same dress at a prom as someone else.

The same as most brides do not want the bride in the other room at her wedding to be in the exact same dress as she is. Carrying an identical bouquet with identical bridesmaids.
That is the whole point of buying from a specialist shop.
If people didn't genuinely care then everyone would buy a very cheap second hand dress of eBay . Or in the Next sale for £5. But as that generally doesn't happen I'm guessing that most people do want to be in a special dress that is different from everyone else.

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