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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A man just shouted at me in the street

622 replies

Dallia · 21/02/2018 18:18

“Why are you wearing a curtain?”

I kind of smiled awkwardly and carried on crossing the road to him shouting “oi, you, I’m talking to you!”

I was absolutely mortified, lots of people were watching but no one said anything.

Why do people do this? He seemed like a “normal person” and it was really intimidating. He turned back to look and I thought he was going to start following me. Has anyone ever had weird random things shouted at them in the street, or is it just me Hmm

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

OP posts:
DarthNigel · 22/02/2018 17:17

Victorians Grin
I've also been howling at that zombie willy willy willy thread.
But other than that-it's bloody awful when you get heckled on the street. I wa Spain fully shy until I started work really-so shy I could barely go into a shop and buy something in case the shop assistant spoke to me. When this kind of thing used to happen to me it could leave me literally housebound for a week. Those that do it have no idea of the effect it has. Bastards.

MrsElvis · 22/02/2018 17:22

About 12 years ago I was quite a bit heavier and every time I went to Egypt with another female friend I would get abuse every day, all day. With men catcalling or plain approaching me. It boiled down to

"why is such a pretty girl letting herself be so fat? This isn't right you need to stop doing X Y Z you need to do this and that."

They really were quite pissed off with me for not being as attractive as I could be Angry

exaltedwombat · 22/02/2018 17:30

I must admit to sometimes noticing a stripy dress with 'That reminds me, I must get my deckchairs re-covered'. Or something particularly lurid with 'Sold the caravan, kept the curtains?' If they can't take a joke...

The best was Dame Edna. She'd invite a large lady on stage and compliment her on her dress. 'What a lovely fabric! And you managed to get so MUCH of it!'

emmakc1977 · 22/02/2018 17:38

I often get “smile love” - it’s my resting bitch face!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 22/02/2018 17:39

HE did Wombat. Bet it made the poor woman feel really good.

Member899646 · 22/02/2018 17:39

You should have told him to pull himself together!!

NewspaperTaxis · 22/02/2018 17:42

Ha! Ha!

Only today, a bloke shouting 'On your bike! On your bike!' As indeed, I was on my push bike, waiting at the traffic lights. So not sure what to say back, but he was just a shouty aggressive fellow taking offence when I had said nothing to him. Perhaps it's the cold.

keffie12 · 22/02/2018 17:52

Most people who shout out like that have mental health issues!

Some are in groups of men who are usually drunk where we are as we live in a tourist town.

Then you get the group's of youngsters still at school out on night in gangs.

Had it happened a few times to me before. Ignoring is the best way forward.

As for a retort- I would have said " cos I want too" and carried on walking

JustJayne1959 · 22/02/2018 17:53

Oh good grief get a grip. Maybe you ought to go for counselling or claim compensation for having bad fashion sense and “feeling intimidated” Maybe your comeback ought to have been “Yes, glad you like them!”

treaclesoda · 22/02/2018 17:54

Most people who shout out like that have mental health issues!

In that case there must be an epidemic of male mental health problems. And the weird thing is that these problems only afflict them in such a way that they feel compelled to insult women, but not men.

DatingLife · 22/02/2018 17:55

As Rothbury says:

*I always assume men like this go home to their mummy because they have never been able to hold down a relationship and are incapable of looking after themselves/living alone.

After their fish fingers and smiley faces, they go to their room to watch porn until bedtime.

Sad fuckers*

MentalMaggie · 22/02/2018 17:58

This reminds me of the time I was walking down the street to our local shop when some pleb stopped me and asked “ stockings or tights ? “ I thought I’d heard wrong so replied “ excuse me ? “, again he asked “ stockings or tights, what are you wearing ? “ , my response was “ does your mouth bleed once a month? “ he then looked puzzled and said “ no, why ?” My final reply before walking away was “ because you talk like a cunt !! “ 😳😁 Other people who heard him burst out laughing at my reply. I hate people like that, they think they’ve got a God given right to ask sleazy questions of people they don’t know.

Chowmum · 22/02/2018 18:01

I have found that walking is much more peaceful when accompanied by a large somewhat ferocious looking dog.

This thread is actually making me feel sad and anxious. I've lost count of the vile remarks over the years, and each one made me feel like shit.
Even if you tell it's them, not me.

Chowmum · 22/02/2018 18:01

insert "yourself" somewhere in that last sentence

Chowmum · 22/02/2018 18:02

That sounds rude, it wasn't intended to be

JazzyJelly · 22/02/2018 18:11

I was reading this thread and it made me a bit nervous about going out for the first run in a while. Hadn't got half way round the first loop and a van honked and made an obscene gesture.

gingergenius · 22/02/2018 18:12

@JustJayne1959 my aren't you just so 'woke'?!? Confused

Bobbi73 · 22/02/2018 18:12

I once heard a man in a van screaming at someone, calling her a funckin bitch and a lot worse, I turned around to find he was shouting at me. I have no idea who he thought I was but it was really scary particularly as I had my tiny baby in the pram and it was my first time out after a c-secton. I feel very sorry for the woman it was aimed at.

Dallia · 22/02/2018 18:13

Just okay thanks for that.

OP posts:
LineofDuty · 22/02/2018 18:15

This reply has been deleted

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Bluntness100 · 22/02/2018 18:18

I think it's ridiculous to say all these men have mental health issues. Not everything is a mental health issue. Sometimes people really are just arseholes with little decency or manners. That's not a mental health issue, that's just being a wanker.

skodadoda · 22/02/2018 18:19

“oi, you, I’m talking to you!”
Reply, 'not like that you aren't'.
Actually, if anyone feels intimidated by such behaviour they would be quite justified in calling the police.

namechangefriday · 22/02/2018 18:20

Why are you a cunt always works in this type of scenario

cjferg · 22/02/2018 18:20

Once someone shouted "YA SPOOKY BITCH" out a car at me which I just found funny tbh

Also had "why is she wearing a carpet?" said loudly by 12yo girl to her pals when I walked past. Managed to laugh at her but that one stung.

The joys of wearing harem pants.

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2018 18:21

Lineofduty. I don't agree with you. It's nothing to do with over crowding. That's ludicrous. Whenever I've been abused it's predominantly been by white British men and I grew up in a small town, and it happened to me multiple times over thirty years ago.

I actually find your rationale offensive and a bit racist.

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