A man just shouted at me in the street

[Dallia]

“Why are you wearing a curtain?”

I kind of smiled awkwardly and carried on crossing the road to him shouting “oi, you, I’m talking to you!”

I was absolutely mortified, lots of people were watching but no one said anything.

Why do people do this? He seemed like a “normal person” and it was really intimidating. He turned back to look and I thought he was going to start following me. Has anyone ever had weird random things shouted at them in the street, or is it just me

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

@LineofDuty racist much?

"My husband thought it was a table cloth!"

YES, years and years of it.
Catcalled, spat at, groped and worse. when pg, when on crutches, when with my v young children. I have naturally large breasts which doesnt help.
I recently had someone i worked for 30 yrs ago discussing that time. I was 20 and pretty and worked with lots of 40-50 yr old men. I was from a very disadvantaged background and they were not. Person said: 'your tragedy was that everyone wanted to fuck you, no one would have dreamed of taking you seriously yet you were as bright as the rest of us'. But he didnt seem to think that it mattered - it was just an observation. Later he walked with me along a very narrow alleyway in the pitch black and then around a dark park. I would NEVER do that as I know the dangers too well. It didnt even occur to him, even as an elderly person - white male privilege. I felt so angry.

My first experience was when I was walking home from school at age 11 and a drunk man staggered over to me and shouted "well fucking smile you stupid bloody woman!" That scared me a bit but since then I have to say I've not experienced anything nasty, just the generic beeping of horns and shouts of "oi oi!" which to be honest don't bother me personally. Once I even laughed after a man in a van beeped at me and he laughed back and cheerfully called out "have a great day!" before driving off, and I definitely didn't know him.
After reading some of these stories though I do feel that I've been very lucky and completely understand how upsetting some of those situations must have been. Love and hugs all round ladies 😘

"this happened with my 12 year old niece. "Man" in his twenties was very openly looking her up and down. I got in his face and hissed "she's 12, cunt". Did the trick"

My friend & I had just entered a restaurant in London. She was visiting from Germany with her 3 yr old daughters. There were 2 guys in their 30s whose eyes were out on stalks checking out the 13 yr olds. My friend had not even noticed and I was furious with her. (So even the presence of a parent doesn't seem to influence how some men behave). I went up to their table and said in a quiet but menacing voice something like: If you continue that aggressive staring at the girls I will call the police. One of them said something, so I raised my voice ensuring I included the word *paedophilia^, they got their bill and left.

Some weirdo told me his arsehole was sweating

I think it has always happened. I've lived in different parts of the UK, and different parts of the rest of the world. I remember a time I was chased by a man with a baseball bat because I wouldn't say hello, that was 20 years ago. I do agree it is more frequent now. And it doesn't seem to matter much the age of the woman, or how 'invisible' we are as middle-aged women. I'm not sure if there is a link to the availability of porn, but it is definitely worse.

I think the most perplexing time it happened to me was when a group of girls did it to me! There was at least 3 in the car (2 in the front and one in the back I could see clearly). I was walking home from Aldi in my work clothes. They were all screaming "slut" I've never been so confused in my life! It happened before and after then (by men) but that's the only time any women did it and I was maybe wrongly so, but I've always assumed as most women experience it they wouldn't want to do it to others.

When I was a bit bigger (size 12!), one idiot said 'Hey love, what's that on your chin... oh, another chin'.

I also remember when I was 17 (wearing a polo shirt and baggy jeans) walking down our town High Street, one man loudly commented 'Nice tits - shame about the arse'. I had a complex about my bum for years even though I'd never had a problem before.

I used to get this when I was younger but thankfully when you get to the age of invisibility, as I have, it does improve, believe me. I definitely think ignoring the idiots is the best approach. If you react, it gratifies them. Treat them as if they are pond life, which they are. Would you trouble to berate stray algae? Of course not! I hope you're feeling better. I've been the victim of such behaviour myself often enough to know it's bewildering and upsetting but probably without any real malice. It's just another manifestation of womb envy.

Bluntness - I don't care, this is a discussion forum. This is your opportunity to educate yourself - check out the 11 COLOGNE threads here on MN. Various behavioural experiments (with rats mostly) have shown over and over again how overcrowding causes aggression. Short term experiments with human volunteers produce the same response, i.e. impatience, irritation, aggression.

Gingergenius I take it you did not find the Rotherham/Rochdale/Oxford sex scandals disturbing. Did you not read the official report and conclusion? Obviously not.

I Was flashed while driving past a guy who was standing by his work van. Wtaf!!

DD also got cat called walking down Oxford St, with me! She was 13...

It's not always harmless, though, it can lead to attack. And it does happen to middle-aged women. It happens to me and I am entering menopause.

LineofDuty Have you missed all the news stories about white male paedophiles, white male rapists. It's nothing to do with race. Get your head out of your racist arse.

It is any entitled male, of any race. Stop being so blinkered by your prejudices and hatred and you might be able to see the problem for what it is.

Some people have genuine mental health issues but some people are just fucking idiots. The other day I had a ‘cheer up, it might never happen’ from a man at the entrance to the hospital ward where I was visiting my mum who’s just had a stroke. Prick.

@LineofDuty your Overtones are insinuating that it's immigration and race causing the problem. In mine and many others' on this thread it's white British males behaving like this.

Of course the matters you've raised are an issue. But to say overcrowding (ie immigration) and cultural differences (ie racism) are the main reasons these things are happening is nonsense. The issue of casual sexist abuse is not simply down to race or immigration and is not even in the same ballpark as the appalling issues or organised rings.

What rubbish line
'back in the day' I used to get aggressively cat called.
I have been abused in the street by men of all races. The only think they have in common is their gender.

I live in a part of London that is often claimed by the far Right as a no go area for white women. Utter bollocks.

Best comeback I ever heard was when my friend got called fat her reply 'the only reason I'm fat is because everytime I shag your dad he gives me a cookie' they did not know what to say back at all just absolutely stunned was amusing to see a group of lads go from giving it all the big I am to just stuttering to say a better comeback which didn't come. Hope that wasn't to rude to post here

Love it @lauramaywharton

On the way back from my school run i walk past a kitchen manufacturers, expensive bespoke kitchens. One of their workers feels obliged to shout out at women as they walk past.

First I though it was me, then I was really upset by something he'd said one day and my sis realised i was upset and i told her why, she said he did it to her too. She too thought it was just her and was equally as embarassed. Then a friend admitted she'd started driving to avoid walking that route.

I hatched a plan to do a YouTube 24 Days of advent arses. Men who are happy to be abusive whilst showing their company colours. Anew one revealled each day.

I mentally add each annoyance to my top 24 but haven't filmed any yet. It does make me smile when things happen. Gives me a sense of control, even if I never do it.

I wish we were all as cool as Jane...

@RippleEffects you should TOTALLY do that!!!