To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

[hungryhippo90]

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

From what I've seen from fb neighbourhood groups, the most petty, small mindedness weird stuff seems to be aired seemingly arising from little prospects and people spending far too much time in one square mile or so. It's hilarious, and the who's lived there the longest competitions are fantastic 😃 and any incoming riff-raff from nearby towns are treated in utmost contempt 😎 of course

I’ve always thought new build estates were a bit naff but this has put me off for life!

"A bird landed on your roof yesterday. Please install an anti bird system."

Please use this note OP - and report back on the discussion it provokes on FB.

Ahem... I pick all litter off our road (I stopped the car to pick up one wrapper this afternoon) and I empty the bin at the end of the road. Is that some kind of crime? Would people prefer if I walked down the road throwing litter as I went? (We are not a new build estate but a private estate open to anyone who chooses to come up here to walk and we are very nice to everyone)

Firesuit this? I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day. Are you serious? You'd hate me then mine is quite often left out for days sometimes even a week. I work away a lot and put the bin out before i go if it needs emptying. I'm more than happy for you to pop round and bring in for me though....

Why would anyone smugly display their bins all week round?

Sorry I only got this far. I'm crying.

I’ve always thought new build estates were a bit naff but this has put me off for life!

Yes, I imagine the Hyacinths of the new built estates actually reduce the prices. I'd need to see some real discount to put up with compulsory bin doilies and neighbourhood patrols.

Great thread I've enjoyed it. Thank fk I live on a plot off the road, on a street where most of the other houses are bungalows occupied by very quiet elderly who conform to rules, cut their grass and bring their bins in when emptied. I wfh so d the same.

I love living here

The neighbour opposite knocked on her door and asked her to please take down her ironing board when she finished her ironing because it could be seen through her front window and it lowered the tone of the estate!

You must be making it up. Ironing's posh, it's the scuzzers like me who just don't bother......

Dear oh dear, this thread is the thread that keeps giving. Bin wars and the neighbourhood watch getting burgled have made me laugh out loud

Our village hasn't put its bitching online yet, we save it for the paper newsletter that goes round once a month. The passive aggressive bitching, weird injokes and humblebragging (there was a whole series composed of someone telling 'hilarious' anecdotes about their very expensive holiday and the oddities of the foreign people they met in the foreign country they visited) on the letters pages are a sight to behold. As was the two episode recounting (with cliffhanger ending to episode one) of the coach trip to attend Terry Wogan's funeral

It's marvellous. Nothing on bins yet, but give it time!

Thank you LivingInMidnight, I never knew chavy bins could even exist, this is classic.

On another note, but telling people what colour paint they have to use for the front door is not on.
well...

I never realised what a delight it must be to live on a road with all the bins on show. It looks so welcoming, I feel like I am depriving my children of something now with our silly clean front gardens.

Living following on from your photo - the left is how I think I look smugly showing my bin - the right is more real.... (I love celeste barber #challengeaccepted)

Thank you all for giving me the best laugh I’ve had in months. My life has been difficult the last year or so. Slowly getting back on track and having a real good belly laugh today has been a small victory for my MH. Keep them coming please.

myrtle love it.

OP you should do this and make it your profile pic of FB 😂

I don't know where you live Saska but it doesn't look like that down my road, even on bin collection day.

I think I might get a bin sized version of those loo roll cover dolls. That would look awesome and make all the neighbours jealous for sure.

Jesus Christ, they'd shit their beds if they saw the bin arrangement here - we have a row of communal bins that are publicly visible AT ALL TIMES (it's brilliant, I never have to get out of bed at midnight because 'fucking bin day tomorrow', just take my rubbish out when I need to).

When we built our extension it meant our wheelie bins were now kept at the front of the house. We built a bin enclosure on our drive so they wouldn’t blow down the street. The enclosure was at the bottom of the drive beside our house so nowhere near the pavement.

Someone made an official complaint to the council as they could ‘see our bins from their house. ‘
The council actually sent someone round to investigate it, there was a whole file with photos. (So the complainer trespassed to get them ) Since it was made of bricks council said I had to submit a drawing showing its position. I also didn’t have to build an enclosure, I could have just left the bins loose on my drive.
Council person apologised and said if I had any bother from a neighbour about the bins To let them know as it would be classed as harrassment . I suspect I know which neighbour it was.

Reminds me of a new build cul de sac we lived in when we were young, best laugh I've had all month x

this thread is hilarious.

Some of you have some right batshit neighbours.
I'm actually quite jealous our local Facebook page is normally people selling stuff or looking for tradesmen.

I don't know where you live Saska but it doesn't look like that down my road, even on bin collection day.

I live in a fairytale land where bins magically disappear until bin day when they appear and disappear without a sound. I thought my house was completely overpriced because of the schools catchment, but it appears it was because of the magical bins!
We have flowers and fairy in our front gardens, it's amazing.

Saska are you being serious??

Someone made an official complaint to the council as they could ‘see our bins from their house.

That's classic. Their poor eyes...

The head of our watchmen group complained that the cat of a neighbour he didn't like were making the dogs of another neighbour bark. These particular dogs barked at everything. He was most bemused that the council noise people said he could either complain about the dogs and they'd speak to the owner, or he couldn't. He couldn't actually complain about the cats as a noise issue.

He also constantly complained about any cat in the street like the neighbour he didn't like was responsible for them all.

I moved out of a new build estate last year but didn’t leave the Facebook group as me and DH and too much fun laughing at the dog shit and parking arguments! WW3 broke out recently as someone complained about cat shit in their garden, someone suggested ‘killing the cat up the hole’ in jest, all hell broke loose, cat owners were raging, police were threatened and then said cat owners left the group as admin wouldn’t delete the comment!

Omg I laughed so much at this, twice!! 😂😂

How does one smugly display a bin?