To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

[hungryhippo90]

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

Of course I am Smellylittleorange, what a strange question.

People who live their bins on their front drive or in the street attract the wrong kind of fairy Smellylittleorange

What are they teaching you at school these days?

exfury yes that was the main part of the complaint. They could see our bins. !

The file had photos from all angles and close ups of the wheelie bins.
Council said they had to investigate it as a complaint had been made. Total waste of resources and money.

Op this is scary but funny ! Id be freaked right out ! But saying that im also hunting for my balaclavas and hoodies to join Norbert

Putting aside the nut jobs on OP’s estate ........ I find it odd that there are lots of weird assumptions about people who live in a ‘new estate’. At some point everybody’s house was part of a ‘new estate’, unless you live in a farm or similar.
I’ve lived in houses built at just about every period of history and there has always been some odd ball lurking around with strange ideas of community living. (Think of the daily posts on here from people in flats).
I recall seeing a house with a sign on the window saying ‘save our village, no new builds here’. The house with the sign was all of 15 years old 🤔
It is good to have some nosey, fussy, watchful neighbours as they keep places safer, but OP’s development does seem to have cloned the gene in that department.........would love to know where it is so could watch developments.

Maybe send one of these?

It sounds hideous. Glad I don't live on an estate, new-build or otherwise.

@Marmaladeorange - yes to the Hot Fuzz reference. I wonder if they've got a living statue?

I was going to say I wished our bins didn't make a sound but it's the sound of the neighbours bins rumbling as they put them out that usually remind me it's bin day. Horrifyingly I have been known to run out in my pyjamas when I've forgotten and have heard the bin men arriving!

Maybe you could disguise your bins like these so they stealthily born in with your herbaceous borders OP?

Blend in.

I have had such a good read on this thread. I thought it was just my street but it seems there are plenty other streets like this all round the country. We have the neighbour who gets so agitated over parking. He must get the parking space he wants even if it coned off for works or even when the police for some reason closed off the area. We have another neighbour who not only watches any visitors to the various houses they can described them, their clothes, their car and even the colour, make and age of car. They hang over hedges and fences to see what is going on. Bins in this street are used to stop people parking. I was told what type of flooring to get and I disobeyed! No-one in this street seems able to hold a conversation or even just utter a Hello, Good morning, Nice day or whatever.

I thought this was a weird place but some of you have so much more going on. I just don't understand how some people can be so interfering in others' lives especially when they themselves would go apeshit if anyone interfered in their lives.

I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day

You’d hate us then. The five houses in our little lane all leave their bins out on bin day in the only bit of the lane big enough for the bin lorry to turn round in - right outside our house. I can see a whole row of bins all day until my neighbours get home and take them in. Ironically the smartest house on the street keeps their bins at the front beside the house.

I have apologised to my neighbours about the state of our front garden for years but they’re all very polite and say it’s fine. We’ve been trying to clear it for ages. We’ve had a skip on the drive for months now. Fortunately our neighbours are all nice and normal and don’t give much of a shit about that sort of thing.

I have a sofa and a fridge in my front garden.
Living the dream, aren't you

I also have 4 cars a big white van, 5 green, 1 brown and 2 black wheelie bins and weeds everywhere. Oh and random piles of rubble

The house opposite is derelict, the one down the road is derelict and they have just built a new estate round the corner which sold out before they had laid the first brick for between £1-3million.

When those people move in they better not complain about what goes on in my front garden

Where we used to live they had all sorts of covenants you had to abide by. They had bin police who would impound your bin if it was left out beyond 7pm on collection day and you had to pay to have it released from the bin prison. Ridiculous. We only stayed a few years until we could take no more.

I thought if this thread this morning as I put out my 3 bins, a broken chair, a lamp and 236 broken down ikea cardboard boxes for the bin men to collect.

Zero fucks. I won't be home until after 6 either so my poor neighbours will have to face this horror of 3 empty bins all day.

I woke up still chuckling about that kim kardashian picture.

“Right getcthat body stocking on we need a picture. What can we pose you with today? Draped over a sofa? Poised on a chair? Lying on a beach?.. I know! Squatting! By... ok what by? Ummm, well we’ve done most things... The bins?”

Then some flunky gets sent off to monogram KKs wheelie bin.

“I’ve laddered my body stocking Kanye..”

It's an old fashioned approach from a time when people had 'standards' and everyone was expected to adhere to them. Women were at home, so could take the bins in. If not, then a neighbour would do it for you.

If you live in a terrace, then you can't bring your wheelybins in.
Moving to a 'nicer' area- a detached home- means no longer needing to leave the bins out. It's aspirational!

Wheelybins are relatively new- some areas campaigned against them because they are big and ugly and there may be nowhere to store them.

Op, please keep us updated! This thread is a scream!

A family member of mine lives on a new build estate with a facebook page. I remember one post she showed me where a resident posted a photo of an older car with a huge cardboard sign that he had placed on the window with 'THIS IS NOT A 'estates name' CAR! A resident then claimed the car. They have a fitness group and events for special occasions. Nothing wrong with that but there was a time that the lady who organises the get togethers suggested the idea of extending the invite to family members of residents who live outside the estate. It was met with disgust and one woman even said she didn't want any 'tom, dick or harry' able to attend.
They have chased a man off the estate once but had good reason too, known burglar trying doors and back gates.

It's because new build estates are predominantly Lower Middle and the Lower Middles are obsessed with appearance and What Other People Think.

It's a pretty safe bet that "obsessed about bins" and "has a post-21 education" don't overlap much.

I feel compelled to go and take a photo of my three wheelie bins all situated at the front of my house 😱

I live in a new suburb in Australia (I.e. an estate). Our local FB page is filled with moans about dog poo (and whether the perpetrators are from our or other less posh suburb), some complete with camera footage, reports of suspicious characters wearing hoodies, state of front gardens etc. After a ferocious winter storm someone posted to complain that a bin had blown over (empty) and was still there 24 hours later.

In the last week the highlights have been:

1. A row about an energetic dog at the dog park, resulting in some prat videoing the dogs at 5.30 every morning so he has “evidence” for the ranger.
2. A complaint about a cat that wandered into a garden, making the homeowner squeal, and got hair on the garden furniture.
3. A woman who posted at 9.30pm that a man was “going crazy” at her door, so she called the police. Turned out to be a neighbour knocking to tell her she’d left her garage door open.

My all-time favourite piece of bat-shittery ... someone leafleted about 10 streets asking people not to drive down his street as he’d bought there thinking there would be less traffic and was quite annoyed. I know that I and a few others have had to detour down that street several times since then ... ;).

I've laddered my body stocking Kanye...

Those bin hider pens are screamingly Hyacinth Bouquet like. Awful. Rather see the bins than that affected nonsense.