To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

[hungryhippo90]

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

Rarelyinfallable- you win the thread.

Oh I could notbe doing with that. I'll stick with my slightly crime ridden area where everyone keeps out of everyone else's business, thanks! And I say that after being burgled by someone who lived nearby last year. If someone put ketchup on my car because they didn't like outsiders parking perfectly legally, I'd not be responsible for my actions!

Someone posted a message through our door recently with the details of a Facebook group for the road. I'm starting to regret not joining now. Although I can't imagine anyone here being that strange, at least, not in that way - a few neighbours are definitely eccentric. But not the type to be petty and small-minded.

@Tapandgo Wed 21-Feb-18 22:38:07
My inner pedant is making me reply to your comment that "at some point everybody’s house was part of a ‘new estate’, unless you live in a farm or similar."

That's not true. I've lived in about fifteen different flats/houses in my life and I wouldn't describe any of them as part of an estate. There have been houses in a village, that grew organically over a thousand years, houses along main roads, several Victorian terraces, and (sadly rented) Edwardian villas.

We live in a new build estate, the neighbours barely talk to each other let along have a Facebook group going!

There is one new build estate, massive over 3,000 houses - nearby where use to live - I believe they are the sort who have Facebook pages - they actually tried to get their estate recognised as it's own village and have its own council, etc. That didn't happen. I think they are now trying to be classed as a country park or some shite.

so what? It's probably not a bad idea if they want to increase the value of their property, I can understand their point.

People want to live in a home free from nit pickers.

Nc for this.

I live on a new build and it's batshit.

Each week we have a 'polite complaint regarding...'
Dog poo
Parking
Driving (school run)
Litter
Management company

The admin of the fb group has let the power go to his head. Dick.

This sounds absolutely bonkers but I think I'd enjoy watching a documentary on it

Someone puts my wheelie bin, various recycling sacks and two recycling tubs back onto my drive if I'm not back early... not sure if they're trying to make a point but if they want to do it for me they can carry on

There is one new build estate, massive over 3,000 houses - nearby where use to live - I believe they are the sort who have Facebook pages - they actually tried to get their estate recognised as it's own village and have its own council, etc. That didn't happen. I think they are now trying to be classed as a country park or some shite.

That's just reminded me. We live in X town (nice town) which is on the outskirts of Y town (ver naice town). When the new houses were first built there was a campaign to have the new estate to be "Twee name estate, Y Town", rather than "Twee name estate, X Town" as it would be a more fitting address, until it was rather bluntly pointed out that it wouldn't be more fitting as they weren't in the Y town boundary.

This sounds absolutely bonkers but I think I'd enjoy watching a documentary on it

Oh, YES! It'd be awesome.

My elderly mum’s neighbours are batshit over stuff like this. She was waiting for a total hip replacement at the time and walked, in agony, with a stick, yet when she mowed her lawn and - shock horror - a very small amount cut grass blew onto the neighbours drive he came round to complain expecting her to sweep it up. She went full Nan Taylor on him.
Another time he complained that on hot summer’s days her bin smelt. Well yeah, they can do that, but he then went on to tell her how his wife freezes things like chicken carcasses until the morning of bin day to keep their bin smelling fresh. Who has time for that shit?!
I have laughed so much as this thread. Comedy gold!

On our residents page today we've had a fab post by Susan..

Two youths seen hanging around the duck pond. Faces in their phones. Ruining the aesthetic.

For fucks sake Susan get a life.

I LOVE our Facebook page, it’s comedy gold. People are insane.

We’ve just had one with a post about a moose coming into someone’s garden and eating their fruit trees and hedge.

Not ‘guys any tips for stopping the flipping moose from coming in?’ Which would be Normal and logical but a full on ‘OMG how CAN there be moose how DARE they why doesn’t the council DO something! Make it GO AWAY.’

There are a few bemused posts under pointing out that.

We live in Sweden. There are moose in Sweden.
We live on the edge of quite a big forested area, there be moose
The moose was here first
What the fuck do you want the council to do about it?

It’s just gem after gem.

I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day

Really??? Is that the mark of a nice area? Though it did come into my mind that you might live on a street where no one works and everyone claims benefits so people are always around to put there bins in

@dejectedharry - don't be on your phones. Don't ruin the aesthetic. Be more like Susan.!

watt she freezes the rubbish till bin day??? Hilarious

thinkofthemice that would be an elk then www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-a-stag-a-moose-and-an-elk

This all sounds awful.

When DP and I were house hunting we discounted anywhere that had tidy bins because it's always indicative of stuff like this.

On the estate I grew up in there was a petition against the council's new design for the lampposts. Even as a kid I was like, "oh PLEASE".

I think I might get a bin sized version of those loo roll cover dolls

I WANT ONE TOO

It’s true Trevor utterly batshit. He thought it was totally BU for anyone to not freeze anything that might smell the bin out. Explained she would careful take the skin off fish, parcel it up into little freezer bags and freeze until Tuesday morning at 6am when she would empty her special freezer drawer of its “waiting for bin day” contents and put in the bin. Bonkers!

..... what’s that saying? There’s nout as queer as folk?

Fucking bin day freezer drawer!!

@Oliversmumsarmy Thu 22-Feb-18 01:40:18
The house opposite is derelict, the one down the road is derelict and they have just built a new estate round the corner which sold out before they had laid the first brick for between £1-3million.

When those people move in they better not complain about what goes on in my front garden

Your street is going to become awful. You'll be getting all the wannabes that want to tag on to the 'exclusive'-area-by-proxy moving in and I bet they will all be fucking nightmares. Hyacinth Bucket will have nothing on them.

blimey, it cost a tenner to get your bin cleaned, and a whole lot more to buy a (bigger) freezer. Bonkers.