To think he's out of my league

[nipnips]

I am fairly recently separated from my husband and after a much shorter cooling off period than I'd planned, I've gone and met someone else.
He's 4 years older than me and also separated. He's dated a few women over the last year or two but hasn't found anyone he wanted to see more of. Until now, he says.
We met online, and spent a number of weeks chatting daily. He's witty and playful, and although I wasn't sure about whether I would find him attractive after receiving some photos from him, I knew we'd at least become friends so I arranged to meet him in a local pub for a drink.
As it turns out, we hit it off. Conversation flowed, he made me feel good, he looked great in the flesh and I fancied him. When we left the pub together we hugged and I pecked him on the cheek and went home.
An hour later he messaged me to tell me that he thought our date was 'electric' and couldn't wait to see me again.
To cut a long story short he's been driving cross country to spend time with me, he treats me with total respect and has suggested we wait before we have sex. So I know he's in it for me as a person, rather than sex.
On paper it all sounds lovely, but something is bothering me. He has a very high powered well paid career. He is incredibly driven and successful, the type of man who gets up at 5am to go to the gym before jetting off to close a multi million pound deal, then finishing the day with a meeting on the board of governors for his daughter's school.
Then there's me. I'm skint. I drive a clapped out old banger and run a crappy little business from home which fits in well around my children, but i'm hardly raking it in. Until I met him I was happy with my place in society, so I don't really need people coming along to tell me I have low self-esteem etc. I don't.
I just wonder why he's interested in a relationship with me? Will my lack of drive and ambition be too much for him to bare? Can a relationship like this work, where one person is contributing so much and the other so little?
I've asked him not to be flash or talk about money because it makes me uncomfortable, and he listened. He's been really trying, but it still bugs me.
Am I better off letting this one go?

I think you've got too caught up in trying to decipher things that if you carry on dating you'll just be paranoid and insecure now.

Most dating starts out with a grey period where there's always a chance that one person might not be as into it, might not know what they want, might be lying etc. I don't think you can ever get away from that - you have to just go with things for a while until they do something very concrete that makes up your mind one way or the other.

You're coming across quite needy and that won't translate well. Perhaps you need some time to be single.

I knew you'd get a hard time for this title but I think it's sensible to be aware of it. Chemistry is one thing but in case nobody else has mentioned it ''assortative mating'' is where people commit to somebody who is, well, in their league.

kik is well known for cheaters op - thats all you need to know

A good looking woman contacting him out of the blue...yeah he'll know it's you.

Oh dear. OP you do sound quite unstable. Setting up a fake account with a photo to try and catch him out? You've been very busy today.

If he is legit then hopefully the scales will fall from his eyes soon.

Wow this thread is astounding.

He's not out of your league, but he's obviously still married, come on, you don't believe all that separated but living together bollox do you?

Also, he'll have known it was you on the dating site.

It's all sounds far too drama llama.

Well you’re adamant he doesn’t know it’s you and he is referring to you as unstable. That’s a worry.

As for his story, who knows? although if he is complaining about the fact that she doesn’t show affection and she likes his money then why doesn’t he move out? What are his plans for separation and divorce?

I separated from exh and we lived in the same home for two years. We agreed that neither of us would have a new partner out of respect for the other and also as it would complicate things. If either of us had met someone else, one of us would have moved out as the situation would have been untenable.

OP in the kindest possible way I think you should just take some time to properly get over your marriage break up before entering into another relationship. Your children must be going through a very difficult time, especially since both their parents are at each other’s throats and are arguing in front on them. If I were you I would put them first and give them time to adjust. I mean this kindly - this relationship is causing you so much drama and that will inevitably make it harder to parent your dc. Best wishes

My my, the games people play. I'm glad I'm old.

Get off this thread, OP. You're a grown woman who can make up her own mind. Talk to him and take it from there. He might be a player, he might not. Nobody here knows.

OP you do sound like an immature drama queen. Talk to him, make up your own mind. You are not 16.

Ok, getting off this thread now. We've just video called and discussed everything. I believe him 100%. He's invited me to meet his children.
Thanks all for your input. xx

OP, just trust your instinct, which we all develop through our own experiences, not from reading mumsnet advice.

Meanwhile on kik..

Really though, I assume this has been discussed and all cards are now on the table. You can't begin a relationship with lies and viewing one another as 'unstable' or a potential player.

Trust and honesty are the foundations of a successful relationship. Start as you mean to go on.

Good luck op.

Does anyone believe this?!?!?

Between 5-10pm, OP has messaged him questioning the relationship and got a satisfactory reply, successfully catfished him and video called him to discuss their future. This man is a high-flying business exec with children.

Sashmus, apparently yes. 🤣

Why the fuck do people think that anything that deviates from their normal shit- stained crappy little existence must be untrue? The mind boggles.
My situation is true and I've been frank. This is not even in the top 50 most interesting things that have happened to me.

Nipnips - why so aggressive? My existence isn’t shit-stained, it’s great and I work in an industry where I meet many people like this guy. Which is precisely why I find this all fairly implausible.

Ps you’re starting to sound like jay from the inbetweeners (“this isn’t even in my top 50”)

Why the fuck do people think that anything that deviates from their normal shit- stained crappy little existence must be untrue I've changed my mind, whoever he is, he's probably too good for you.

You're considering meeting the children of a man you haven't even shagged yet? And worse, he wants you too? And while he's still living with his wife?

Oh dear!!

Run, Tinder Trash, Run!!