To the OW she should join the queue

[VengefulViolet]

Ex left me after 4 years together...had suspicions there was OW and I was proven painfully right....I went through his phone records and noticed there were a few recurring numbers...one is the OW but the others I didn’t recognise so I plugged them into my contacts and checked whatsapp - 2 women who I didn’t recognise so I messaged them one night having had too much gin and they admitted they had been sleeping with my ex from Dec - present and had met on bumble...they are not aware of the OW and I suspect the OW isn’t aware of them. I despise the OW nearly as much as my ex and need talking down because all I want to do is tell her everything which would make me a bitch but it would be so satisfying....she cheated on her DP to be with my ex so karma would be served up...gin is helping to numb the pain...can’t believe my ex is so evil.

[Prettylovely]

Do what you think will make you feel better.

[ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual]

get some dignity and stop wallowing in self pity - and put the booze down. No one likes a crazy drunk.

I agree with not bothering with the OW but this is a foul thing to say to the OP.

[greensockbluesock]

I'd do it.

It's not exactly massive understatement a relationship you want to salvage in any form

I'd see it as therapy tbh. Im guessing you knew the OW and she may be a former friend?

Add all the OWs to a WhatsApp group and forward every piece of proof again so she sees it. Add him too

Then block the lot

[Italianherbgarden]

it's funny isn't it, that you can't get away with bad behaviour now say, with money, any CCJs etc will follow you around due to technology, but there's no place where you can look up and find that the knight in shining armour you've found through OLD is in fact a cheating/abusive troll. It's one of the few areas left where you have to put blind faith in someone, and probably one of the reasons why these wonderful men keep getting partners.

I don't know op, I don't mind a bit of revenge but I agree, the best revenge is letting her keep her prince charming. Because he clearly isn't anything of the sort.

[NewSingleMummy]

I would add her to the group

[Emmageddon]

Revenge can be sweet but it can also backfire spectacularly. Your ex will drop himself in it all on his own, sooner or later, you don't need to manipulate his downfall. Just be careful.

[CoffeeOrSleep]

OP - be careful and think about what you want. If you haven't dropped this info to OW yet, then don't. Have you started divorce proceedings? Right now, if he's feeling guilty, rather than angry towards you, it might be easier to get a decent financial settlement sorted with minimum fuss. (he might even be slightly more generous out of guilt than he needs to be, particuarly if he's expecting to live with OW and so share the bills etc with her)

You are hurting and you want them to hurt too. That's understandable, but right now, you need to sort out splitting your life from him in the best way for you. and those messages/screenshots would make excellent engagement gifts should he decide to marry the OW, not wedding, just engagement, put a nice little downer on it so if she knows before marrying him what she's getting

[Alwayslumpyporridge]

Sort out any shared property etc out first, then message her just screen shots, no text then block both the ow and ex from all media

[Shockers]

I find that if you bide your time, arseholes usually out themselves as such without any assistance.

I’d say nothing at all. Nothing.

The other two might though, then he’ll know that you know.

But still say nothing. Your silence will drive him slowly insane.

[hellsbellsmelons]

get some dignity and stop wallowing in self pity - and put the booze down. No one likes a crazy drunk
Unit you've been there - do NOT judge!
And if you have been there, then you should know better.

If you add her she won't see any previous messages only new stuff.
In case you were expecting her to see everything, she won't, unless you post it all again.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

So... not married, 4 year relationship and 3 OW that you know of.

You have every right to confront him with the information you have. It isn't meddling, this is your life and he is a serial cheater. You don't have to help him continue to be so by staying silent out of some weird code of honour!

I have never understood why the cheated partner is supposed to accept their dumped status silently and with apparent good grace. That feels so much like collusion, lying by omission and letting the cheating bastards get away with it.

OP, you have every right to be furious, better that than embarrassed. Get that feeling out there, acknowledge it and move on.

Good luck

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

But still say nothing. Your silence will drive him slowly insane. It won't you know. He won't give a shiny shit. He'll just fill the vacancies in his little harem and carry on regardless.

[Manylights]

Simply inform her that she needs to pay a visit to the STI clinic as mutual ex was sleeping with at least FOUR women at the same time and provide sufficient proof that he can't deny.

She at least should be given the chance to protect herself health-wise.
If she chooses not to listen, then on her own head be it.

Then wash your hands of him, and get on with your own life with dignity and a clear conscience.

[greensockbluesock]

Meh dignity is overrated in this case

Dignity is when he tells you he's just not feeling it anymore but he hasn't done anything too bad and you don't beg him for another chance

I'd enjoy the WhatsApp idea and let him face his karma

[CoffeeOrSleep]

Agree that silence won't drive him insane, it'll make him think he's got away with it.

Hold off until you have your finances separate, then just send her the details. Or send them to him, saying you are going to send them to her...

[flumpybear]

Sorry but I'd definitely be sending joint WhatsApp to all the women involved if nothing else so they can keep their sexual health safe he sounds like a serial shagger with the morals of an alley cat 🐈

[flumpybear]

I hope your GU med clinic is all negative

[Lashalicious]

taylor you started this argument with me. Why don’t you stay silent like you are insisting the op do and take the moral high road? See? So you can spew insults, you claim it’s ok when you do it, you are justified when you do it, but when you are called on it, it’s terrible and awful. What a hypocrite! You pick out from somebody else the same thing you just did but they don’t have the right to do it, only you! You are one of those people who think you can say and do anything you want but you lecture other people on the moral high road. You’re not on the moral high road. You are siding with the people who acted cruelly, and you are attacking the victim. According to you, the op is supposed to lie down and be a very still, very silent doormat and she’s supposed to like it. How dare she tell the truth about what happened to her and show these women that they are all cheating on each other?

The Op has been betrayed. It is actually ok for her to take a week or so and process her feelings and acknowledge them and yes, tell others. It is actually ok to tell the truth about what has happened to her and tell the truth to these other women. It is not revenge or petty. Of course she is upset at the ow, what human being wouldn’t?, but if anybody has the right to stand up and say how they feel and show them how they are all cheating on each other, then surely the op has that right since her own life was impacted by them? Being petty or revengeful would involve going beyond this telling of the truth. I’m not sure you know what the word petty means. If someone brushes past you in line and you are massively obsessing over it and take that person to task loudly etc, that is petty. This is not petty. This is a major happening and the op has been mistreated massively. Lying down and being a silent doormat is not the moral high road. These women may learn an invaluable lesson about ethics and loyalty, about hurting others. Op is not going to give them a lecture, she is showing them that they are being cheated on too. sometimes it’s better to be silent but sometimes it is better to bring it out in the open and confront the people doing something. This is one of those times. It doesn’t have to be a loud, back and forth, she is just going to send this proof, the truth, and then get on with her life. Op has the right to speak up. You are exaggerating her wanting to send the screenshots to guilt her into staying silent. Sounds familiar to me. Victim blaming. The manipulation is coming from people like you, not her.

[3EyedRaven]

Do it OP, make sure you use the screenshots.

Moral high ground is overrated, and revenge is sweet.

[magoria]

Best revenge is leaving the skanky pair to it.

She won't be the last. That is her problem and best punishment.

Thank your lucky stars she has taken him off your hands.

[Totallyfugly]

get some dignity and stop wallowing in self pity - and put the booze down. No one likes a crazy drunk

Don’t worry just ignore hollybaytree she is a total odious toad. Do an advanced search...she’s quite a bitter lady...

[pollythedolly]

I'd do it. No qualms. Dirty bastard so that OP has to get tested.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

I’d tell her for sure lol

[Strokethefurrywall]

Yep, I'd tell her too.

I don't believe in any moral high road in this kind of instance because honestly, it's an excuse to keep the wronged party quiet.

Revenge is living well? What a crock of shit. But still say nothing. Your silence will drive him slowly insane. - Also rubbish. He'll be busy shagging around and thinking he's gotten away with it.

Assuming she knew she was the other woman, bring them both down and enjoy it. Not sure how it could possibly come back to bite you, other than making two shitbags upset.

And once you hit send, crack a bottle of wine and enjoy the "don't fuck with me" feeling

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Add OW to the group and then add Ex and watch him try and explain himself.