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AIBU?

To the OW she should join the queue

129 replies

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:30

Ex left me after 4 years together...had suspicions there was OW and I was proven painfully right....I went through his phone records and noticed there were a few recurring numbers...one is the OW but the others I didn’t recognise so I plugged them into my contacts and checked whatsapp - 2 women who I didn’t recognise so I messaged them one night having had too much gin and they admitted they had been sleeping with my ex from Dec - present and had met on bumble...they are not aware of the OW and I suspect the OW isn’t aware of them. I despise the OW nearly as much as my ex and need talking down because all I want to do is tell her everything which would make me a bitch but it would be so satisfying....she cheated on her DP to be with my ex so karma would be served up...gin is helping to numb the pain...can’t believe my ex is so evil.

OP posts:

Report

lucylouuu · 20/02/2018 23:52

add her to the group definitely

GreenTulips · 21/02/2018 00:02

Add the OW to the whatsapp group

She will only see future messages and not the full thread of messages - so you'd have to start again!

Worth keeping one message board 'just for you'

GreenTulips · 21/02/2018 00:10

What did you choose 'the two' and not OW to message? Why pick her as the 'odd one out'v

diddl · 21/02/2018 00:20

Does she know that she was the "OW"?

If so then why bother?

She was willing to cheat with a cheater...

squarecorners · 21/02/2018 00:22

Speaking as someone who has been serially cheated on... don't dwell on it. Move on with your life as if he meant nothing to you. He is not worth your time and effort. It feels like you want to lash out now but if he's a serial cheat it's most likely because he's a narcissist. Just ignore him. Be very matter of fact: "I know I'm not a priority in your life so you don't deserve to be a priority in mine." Seriously don't even give him the time of day.

Lashalicious · 21/02/2018 00:32

I agree with pp, great detective work, Op. Do send her screenshots, texts etc from other women to new ow of your ex. With you in spirit !!

Lashalicious · 21/02/2018 00:35

You can move on with your life and not dwell on it and not give him the time of day right after you’ve sent the screenshots. You will still be on the much higher moral road. You’re simply informing all of the truth of the situation they’ve put themselves, and you, in. Then, move on and enjoy your life, knowing that you stood up for yourself, and in a way, for all women who have been betrayed.

taylorj86 · 21/02/2018 00:43

Lashalicious Waatt? Sending screenshots is no way a part of the higher moral road. I agree about moving on and not giving him the time of day but gathering evidence and sending petty messages achieves nothing, it's just attempt at revenge.

Slartybartfast · 21/02/2018 00:44

just let it go, op.
it is not worth your time.

Slartybartfast · 21/02/2018 00:50

sorry, you invest too much op.

GnotherGnu · 21/02/2018 00:50

She does actually need to get checked for STIs (as do you if you have continued sleeping with this charmer) so you probably should let her know.

Fionne · 21/02/2018 00:50

Dont do this Op. In fact I'd put money on you regretting this just a few days from now.

He really just needs to be put down to experience.

Teabagtits · 21/02/2018 01:00

it's just attempt at revenge

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of revenge. This better person bullshit isn’t real life, same with moral high ground. Do what makes you feel better OP

Slartybartfast · 21/02/2018 01:02

it is not the ow you need revenge on.
what will it achieve?
proof you are unhinged i feel

GUMBYMUMBY · 21/02/2018 01:03

I hope you do not take this the wrong way but you sound a bit like Dr Foster.
Why not just move on?
Your behaviour is akin to stalking including contacting his new shagettes.
Do you think you could just move on? Seems all a bit pointless.

Lashalicious · 21/02/2018 01:06

taylor, taking a few minutes to send the other woman the ex’s two additional other women’s texts/screenshots to show the philandering does not make op fall off the moral high road. Staying on the moral high road is not limited to rigid total ignoring of reality and total inaction. I think you’re confused. The people who fell off the high road are the 3 other women and op’s ex. Comprehend?

There is a time to ignore and a time to do a little tiny something, to tell the truth. Both can happen and still be on the moral high road.

Lashalicious · 21/02/2018 01:10

The Op deserves to be able to stand up for herself, to stand up and tell the truth to these people, her ex and the other women. That is far different than “obsessing” or “stalking” how ridiculous. I am so sick of the hypocrites on these threads. The cheating is fine, it’s the betrayed person who had better shut up and accept everything like a doormat. Absurd. That is not always taking the high road.

TheLovelyHorse · 21/02/2018 01:18

I think the OP has every right to do what she damn well feels like if it's legal. Why should she make herself (metaphorically) smaller? Like Lash says, it's strange that the betrayed party is expected to be the doormat, the dormouse, the polite silent actor.

GUMBYMUMBY · 21/02/2018 01:22

You are dying for the OP to be cited in a harassment case I think...
Time to put the junk back in the trunk.

taylorj86 · 21/02/2018 01:22

Oh lord. Well in the spirit of revenge, op should go and shag around in her next relationship too then? where does it end. That's what morals are for, retaining your own decency and integrity even when some guy has been a bastard to you. i.e not being like the bastard that you hate.

taylorj86 · 21/02/2018 01:28

Lash they are all as immoral as each other so surely let them get on with their crap of cheating and STIs, don't waste your time and move on - as gumbymumby wisely suggests.
It's not being a doormat, it's being the better person - ignore Teabagtits - if we all "did what what makes us feel better" what kind of anarchy would ensue.

TheLovelyHorse · 21/02/2018 01:28

Keep it legal, stand up for yourself.

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TheLovelyHorse · 21/02/2018 01:31

It's the equivalent of forwarding a few emails; not grand larceny.

taylorj86 · 21/02/2018 01:36

TheLovelyHorse send a few "emails" and it ends there? Not as simple as that. It's a pathetic attempt at some kind of petty revenge, for who's gain.

TheLovelyHorse · 21/02/2018 01:41

I said "forward" not "send". The words are those belonging to others, and they speak for themselves. They are neither invented nor embellished.

Then one might walk away with one's head held high, yes; and leave the sad circus behind. I do see what you're saying, taylor; but I don't think that betrayed parties need always be subsumed into silence.

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