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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To the OW she should join the queue

129 replies

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:30

Ex left me after 4 years together...had suspicions there was OW and I was proven painfully right....I went through his phone records and noticed there were a few recurring numbers...one is the OW but the others I didn’t recognise so I plugged them into my contacts and checked whatsapp - 2 women who I didn’t recognise so I messaged them one night having had too much gin and they admitted they had been sleeping with my ex from Dec - present and had met on bumble...they are not aware of the OW and I suspect the OW isn’t aware of them. I despise the OW nearly as much as my ex and need talking down because all I want to do is tell her everything which would make me a bitch but it would be so satisfying....she cheated on her DP to be with my ex so karma would be served up...gin is helping to numb the pain...can’t believe my ex is so evil.

OP posts:
InBlackwaterWoods · 20/02/2018 23:07

Little thats excellent!

OP-do this and send to OW. I would.

BlubberBlubber · 20/02/2018 23:07

@little and @vengeful both genius!

Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 20/02/2018 23:11

I would tell her with proof so she can't say you're the crazy ex.

Original poster
VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 23:13

WhatsApp’s are coming though thick and fast...quite upsetting actually and he names me and the OW as exes and labels us both as unhinged and needy...prick! One of women has photos of her and my ex which is helpful....he has sent them things that he also sent them...poems and suchlike...the exact same fucking thing. Must have been copying and pasting....pacing here

OP posts:
RainbowGlitterFairy · 20/02/2018 23:15

Add the OW to the whatsapp group

DianaT1969 · 20/02/2018 23:15

Were you married to him? How long ago did you find out about OW and split?

Original poster
VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 23:18

@rainbow - I think that’s a most wonderful idea. Need to check others are good with that which im sure they will be.

@diana - just over a week ago. No, not married...I suspected there was an OW before we split but he denied...the proof of OW was seeing them together last weekend..

OP posts:
DingDongDenny · 20/02/2018 23:19

The more I hear, the more I think this man needs to be stopped - you are doing a service to womankind

Crashbangwhatausername · 20/02/2018 23:21

Yes - definitely add ow. I'm assuming she knew about you from your posts?

ZBIsabella · 20/02/2018 23:21

Yes, keep it all and upload to the cloud too in case you lose your phone. Could be very useful information to have.

Stormwhale · 20/02/2018 23:25

I think getting angry in this sort of situation gets you through. It's easier to let anger carry you than drag yourself through sadness. I hope it turns out well for you ok.

Stormwhale · 20/02/2018 23:25

*op

SukiTheDog · 20/02/2018 23:26

She won’t believe you. Cheaters tell the most plausible stories. I’d walk away from it (and that’s so, so hard) and let them rot in their own juices.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 20/02/2018 23:27

Well of course you are just concerned for her health aren't you? If you already know of four of you there could be more. Clearly you all think she has a right to know so she can get appropriate testing. It would be a shame if that knowledge got in the way of her enjoyment of your ex, but that's life Wink.

sanesera · 20/02/2018 23:28

I'm sure it's satisfying but it seems like a lot of work. I would like to think I wouldn't bother if I was to be in this position

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 20/02/2018 23:29

Have you seen the movie "the other woman" (or first wives club) - this could be fun

Bouledeneige · 20/02/2018 23:29

Put them all in touch. Fuck her.

SandyY2K · 20/02/2018 23:29

they are being most helpful and are going to send me screenshoted messages from him...I got ooooodles of proof

I love it. She left her partner for him and he's more of a cheater thsn she thought.

Priceless

Original poster
VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 23:34

@sane - id like to say I’m the bigger person but I’m not...

@needmore - I am changing the name of the group to first wives club as that is Perfect and adore that film.

@sandy - ahhh yes, karma is a beautiful, beautiful thing....what’s about to hit is going to shock her to her core I’m sure..I’d allow her to join our support group if she weren’t such a conniving bitch

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 20/02/2018 23:35

tell her and send her the screen shots as proof......HE deserves this shit to come out.

ginplease8383 · 20/02/2018 23:40

Definitely do this!!!

Perendinate · 20/02/2018 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tara336 · 20/02/2018 23:45

It’s only been a week your still hurt and angry. I’ve been in a very similar situation dirty bastard was sleeping with two other women and spinning some amazing stories. Get as much evidence as you can together. Get the two OW to stay quiet for minute and then just bide your time. Show him a tiny bit of evidence and use it to your advantage

OhBigHairyBollocks · 20/02/2018 23:48

Do it. I hope your ex gets very much what he deserves and more

taylorj86 · 20/02/2018 23:51

I think you can't eat the meal and then complain afterwards. They're not all bastards, I've found the warning signs of cheaters are there early on. Maybe a lesson to choose differently next time and go for another personality type.
Also why be angry at the OW, they havent betrayed you only your Ex has.