To not want to go for lunch

[Nibblertron]

We are invited for lunch at a (sort of) friend’s house today, and I can’t think of anything I would less like to do. I just said to DH I’d rather poo-pick the garden and he agreed and said there’s a hole in the wall he'd prefer to concrete in.

I just can’t cry off though, it would be too rude. Got to go, get flowers and wine, grin and bear it. Bah!

AIBU?

YABU. If neither of you wanted to go, why accept the invitation in the first place?
To cry off now, when food is bought and probably already being prepared would be really crappy.

You've been up in the night vomiting, haven't you? Can't think where you got it from - must be one of those weird 24 hour bugs that's going round - but they can be very contagious so best you stay home.

Why did you agree to go? What’s so bad about going?

Without any further info I feel really sorry for your hosts. They’ve put time, effort and money into preparing this and their guests have no interest in going.

Next time say no, it’s quite easy to do.

It depends

What are your reasons for not wanting to go??

Don't you like your friends??

Or does they're cooking resemble some creation from an 80's domestic science lesson??

Actually ignore me - MrsTWH is right. They'll have shopped and maybe cooked by now. You can't cry off. It might actually turn out to be fun.

If that’s the way you feel then why on earth did you agree to go in the first place?

Having now said you’ll go you are committed & yes YABU moaning about something you could have excused yourself out of, but didn’t

You need to go. They've spent time and money buying and preparing food, cleaning the house etc. They may well feel the same as you but you need to suck it up. It might actually be fun!

I'd be really annoyed if someone cried off on the day because they didn't fancy it rather than they were unwell or something else unavoidable. They are likely to have already bought ingredients, tidied up etc.

Doesn't sound like you're that fond of them; why did you accept the invitation in the first place?

Why did you agree to go if you hated the idea so much? Surely you could have come up with an excuse when you were first asked?

Don’t accept invitation from them again. I’d be very upset if people I considered friends felt like this about coming to lunch with me.

Imagine they were reading this and feel heartily ashamed?

I heard a good bit of advice once:

"Never agree to something in two weeks time that you wouldn't want to do today/tonight "

Obviously there are variables in that but I think it's good advice!

You have to go now but remember not to accept in future!

Its hard hosting. They'll have tidied the house, bought food, planned the meal. All you have to do is turn up and eat it. Then they clear it all away. What's not to like?

YABU. Don't accept invites in the future. I'd hate to go to all that trouble for someone who'd rather poo-pick the garden. Do you not like them?

Why agree in terms first place then. I would be very upset if someone dreaded my invite as much as you are this.

Yeah, go.

You might not enjoy it, but you’ve committed to it, and not every moment of every weekend can be bliss.

I'm sure you have time to pick the poo out the garden and go for lunch. It's three hours out of your life and you wont have to cook today.

Whilst I do feel its wrong to cancel this late, i actually think it might be worse putting on them two hours of your fakery, eating their food and drinking their wine.
Depending in timings they may not have started actually cooking which means they may be able to reuse the extra veg etc. Extra neat is easily used in the week. Dessert can always be eaten the next day etc.

I'd call off sick, then not be such a crap person in future. You dont like them, don't pretend to be their friend

I know I can’t cry off. I’m not that rude.

I am fond of one of them. He is a bit like a little brother, I’ve known him 20 years or so. The problem is his sniffy new wife. She’s snooty and clearly doesn’t like us. We have had them here a couple of times but she is rather snide.
They have a new baby, who is nearly 4 months old now. We weren’t even told the baby was born till it was about 6 weeks old, and while he wanted to invite us round she said she was doing the 90 days thing??
Yet her brand new next door neighbours that they’d known for 5 minutes were invited in to meet baby. Not that I would have wanted to go then either, but it is a nonsense.

It’s going to be a grin and bear it day.

No cooking, glass of wine. Think you are being slightly mean really.

Why did you accept the invitation in the first place?

As PPs have said, they’ll probably have started cleaning, cooking etc in advance of your arrival.

Go or don’t go but stop accepting their invitations in the future.

I just know she thinks we’re beneath her.

So she doesn’t like you and you don’t like her. Stop hanging out wifb them.

Wifb = with

Well your mate likes you enough to have invited you so focus on him. If she’s a bit snotty just ignore it , enjoy whatever they’ve cooked and remind yourself not to accept another invite.

Go and coo over the baby and your DF , he needs your help OP , think of it as a mission of mercy , Good Luck. I wouldn't take anything for the wifey though, just stuff for the baby and your DF , bgr her.