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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry I smashed crockery?

111 replies

Ultrasonica · 16/02/2018 21:32

Name changed for this. DH unilaterally decides to play "professional" poker instead of getting a job to pay me back the £250k he owes me. He wants to turn it into a loan instead. We've been backwards and forwards on trying to find to an agreement for weeks. He had no idea how angry I was as I have been trying to discuss it all calmly. I lost it just now and smashed a lot of crockery. AIBU?

OP posts:
GlassHalfFullOfWee · 16/02/2018 21:33

How does he owe you £250k?

LEMtheoriginal · 16/02/2018 21:34

Is there a reason you are still with him?

stickytoffeevodka · 16/02/2018 21:35

How does your husband owe you 250k? Isn't money joint in a marriage?

EmyRoo · 16/02/2018 21:35

The crockery smashing just adds extra costs.
How on earth does he owe you that much money?
If you are married, is it not his money too (so he has wasted £250k of marital assetsHmm) ?

Lifeisabeach09 · 16/02/2018 21:36

I'd be pissed off too.
Make sure you get your money before you leave him.

Cherrycokewinning · 16/02/2018 21:36

Are you breaking up? I don’t quite understand how a spouse can owe the other money?

That said deciding to play poker for a living rather than gettting a salaried job when he can’t afford to makes him an irresponsible, immature, and probably fairly thick twat IMO. Direct the crockery at his had

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 16/02/2018 21:36

He owes you £250,000? That’s a mortgage! I’d be looking into having some sort of payment scheme drawn up in writing.

Cherrycokewinning · 16/02/2018 21:36

*HEAD

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 16/02/2018 21:37

Oh sorry - just saw you’re married. Then isn’t it shared money anyway?

goose1964 · 16/02/2018 21:37

I have to say this but LTB, unless he is a phenomenal poker player he's in cloud cuckoo land. I thought DH was bad he owes me around 20 k but he's due a inheritance and I will get it out of that

RemainOptimistic · 16/02/2018 21:38

So he's in debt from gambling, and his solution is... more gambling? Hmm

What a fucking idiot.

He's lucky you threw it at the floor.

Pengggwn · 16/02/2018 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foodylicious · 16/02/2018 21:39

250k!!!

catlovingdoctor · 16/02/2018 21:40

Errr....

FittonTower · 16/02/2018 21:41

Is he any good at poker? I have a friend who's a professional poker player, she does ok. But she plays against plenty who are just addicted gamblers along the way.
Why/how does he owe you that kind of money?

Foodylicious · 16/02/2018 21:41

Did you smash it on your own or mis argument?
Do you feel better?
No one else in the house I hope. Would have been scary to witness I am sure

RoseWhiteTips · 16/02/2018 21:42

Ummmm

MincemeatTart · 16/02/2018 21:43

I might well have smashed the crockery over his head! How can he ‘owe’ you money if you’re married? What did he spend 250k on that wasn’t for the family?
Tell him the loan has interest added at the current rates. Start wo King out equitable costs for housing/ bills/ food/ holidays/emergencies/car/loan repayments and if he can support that regularly and reliably then all well and good. If not then he gets a regular job.
Do you have children? If not I’d consider your future before you do. I’m hoping the 250k isn’t gambling debts.

LoniceraJaponica · 16/02/2018 21:43

This doesn't add up. How can anyone be married to someone who owes them £250k? I don't believe it.

Original poster
Ultrasonica · 16/02/2018 21:45

Sorry I was typing in anger and therefore in error. We're not married should have said 'DP' not DH. The money (my life savings) was used to renovate our house. The deal was when the work was done he would get a mortgage to pay his share, which is £250k. But now he's decided to play poker instead so can't get a mortgage.

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 16/02/2018 21:46

My arsehole ex husband owed me way more than that so it’s totally possible and lots of people do not have joint finances for very good reasons

Whatshallidonowpeople · 16/02/2018 21:47

So the house is yours?

Original poster
Ultrasonica · 16/02/2018 21:50

MincemeatTart we've been sorting all that out. He's going to pay interest and for now has enough for his share of bills etc. But what happens when he runs out of money? The only way for me to get my capital out (which I want for my business) who be to sell the house.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 16/02/2018 21:51

What would he think of you suggesting he moves out and you sell up?

Original poster
Ultrasonica · 16/02/2018 21:51

Whatshallidonowpeople. The house is in joint names but he has agreed to transfer it into my sole name (I've put all the money in to buy and renovate it.)

OP posts:
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