To get so angry I smashed crockery?

[Ultrasonica]

Name changed for this. DH unilaterally decides to play "professional" poker instead of getting a job to pay me back the £250k he owes me. He wants to turn it into a loan instead. We've been backwards and forwards on trying to find to an agreement for weeks. He had no idea how angry I was as I have been trying to discuss it all calmly. I lost it just now and smashed a lot of crockery. AIBU?

But smashing things can seem appealing when your blood starts to boil. In the US, entrepreneur Sarah Lavely insists she has come up with the perfect way to channel the urge to smash. She recently set up the Smash Shack in San Diego where people pay an average of $30 (£19) a head for wanton but controlled destruction. It’s proving popular and she’s planning to expand her business into the UK

customers supply the anger, and she supplies goggles, a safety suit and a padded room where they can smash crockery and glasses, or bring their own items to destroy — one woman brought in a framed photo of her and her ex-husband

Nope - you want to make something sexist that isn't there .....

OP wasn't throwing plates AT him! OP smashed her own plates in her own home - out of frustration ....

Perfectly acceptable - her crockery her choice (and she'll have to clean it up as well)

Op has bigger problems

EmyRoo you're absolutely right. Sadly he doesn't see it that way. But I think that's where we are headed.

green tulips
OP wasn't throwing plates AT him! OP smashed her own plates in her own home - out of frustration ....

True, very true.

I'd list the house asap then if it's in your name.

Nice that he doesn't want to pay you back, but wants to live in your lovely, renovated house while he pursues his gambling ... when he loses it all, it won't matter! He'll still be in your lovely house while you cover the bills. Nice.

Is he this much of a selfish, irresponsible arse hole in other respects op?

Get the house transferred into your name then sell it and use the money to buy something smaller.

If you are already SE and only earn £10k, I wouldn't be investing in a further business as it's going to end up wasted money, no different to him wasting on gambling.

The house issue is simple... get it transferred into your name. Throw him out. Sell the house. Buy a cheaper property for you to live in. Invest in your business.

Are you unreasonable to feel angry? No. Are you unreasonable to smash crockery? Depends. Was this done with anyone else there? If so then yes I think YWBU as it could have been physically frightening. If it was done on your own to get your anger out then no YWNBU.

I’d do what loads of others have said....play nice, get the house signed over to you (as a friend is doing the paperwork I’d get it checked by an independent solicitor). Then tell him to shift his hook. He’s let you down badly, this isn’t a man to spend your future with.

You’re freelancing for £10k a year...how much money are you looking at spending on your business and what are you doing with it? You don’t have to answer me, of course, but you need to have a bloody good think about that because it sounds like you’re intending to spend a shitload of money on it, when it’s currently returning 5/8ths of fuck all.

He's agreed to move out at the end of this month. We'll separate our finances. For now we will still keep seeing each other a couple of nights a week. I'll have to get a lodger or two.

AnnieAnoniMouse

I'm a gym instructor part time.

The capital is for buying renovating and selling properties, which I have done successfully for the last seven years, averaging one renovation per year. I average £30k profit per development which I plough into the next one.

DeathStare
Are you unreasonable to feel angry? No. Are you unreasonable to smash crockery? Depends. Was this done with anyone else there? If so then yes I think YWBU as it could have been physically frightening. If it was done on your own to get your anger out then no YWNBU.

No one else was in the house, other than DP. It was done to get my anger out. He probably found it unpleasant and quite possibly frightening. I haven't asked.

We are talking but it's hard facing the end of a ten year relationship.