37 weeks isn't premature. Is it?

[37weeksisntearly]

I need a massive grip handing to me.

A friend has recently has a baby, induced at 37 weeks. Small but perfect and needed no scbu care. Because baby is so small, everyone thinks they are premature and are not being corrected.

I had a 36 and 5 days baby, who was too small for the regular charts. I had to fight for their 'prematurity' to be recognised because so that it wasn't a problem with all the bloody charts and growth milestones - they were so close to 37 weeks, medical staff didn't bother - why have the bloody cut off at 37 weeks then, you may as well say premature is anything before 40 weeks, or 24 weeks given the consideration it was given in my case. Mine had scbu care which, although mild being just blood sugars and feeding, was still very stressful at the time. And we still have issues now which are only just being suggested as to do with birth size and 'prematurity'.

Anyway, I just need a grip handing to me because I don't want to lose my temper with a first time mum.

This reads absolutely as you not having dealt with the experience you had with your dc. I understand that SCBU is stressful (I had a 34 weeker in SCBU for a mercifully short time) and if you feel you weren't helped it is really hard to see other people making a meal of early full term delivery.
The thing you have to remember is that everyone's baby is special and even having a 40 week straightforward delivery is huge. Women talk about their delivery, they talk about feeding and nappies. And if you have a 37 weeker as your first, it's another thing you talk about.
They didn't induce her at 37 weeks for fun. Something was going on and she needs to talk about that.

Please just let this go. You both have children. Really doesn't matter what you label them fgs

Well, you’re right that babies born after 37 weeks aren’t considered to be premature.

But as far as your friend is concerned, you need to try and let it go.
It sounds like you’re upset about the issues with your baby not being recognised as premature, and the possible impact on your baby’s health - is that perhaps making you react so strongly to her letting her healthy 37 week baby be described as premature? Because really, her letting people assume the baby is premature isn’t worth more than a bit of internal eye-rolling.

Why was she induced at 37 weeks?
You need to remember that anything to do with her baby doesn't diminish the attention and services available for yours. So what if people talk about her baby being early? It changes nothing.

My full term baby was tiny, just under 6lbs. People often presumed she was premature. I couldn't be added to say anything half the time, I was too knackered and after a horrible birth had other things to care about. I don't see why you are mad at your friend.

Bothered not added. I need to go to sleep haha

No, and nor is 36 weeks & 5 days. Slightly early but not premature. Sometimes full term babies do require extra help at birth though.

I can see where you're coming from, but its not her fault that medical staff didn't attribute your baby's issues to being prem. They might have still had these issues being full term, you'll never know.
Ive had 2 preemies, at 30+4 and 33 weeks. Thankfully they are both fine and thats all that matters

Lose your temper? Fuck me - whatever has her child's gestation got to do with you or your child?

Gestation isn't a competition.

Oh - and the 2 babies either side of ds in NICU were late babies, one was 10lb! Admittance to NICU isn't always about prematurity

I'm trying to understand why calling your baby premature is so important to you. I can't think of any support you would be able to secure with that label, that you wouldn't be able to without it. I had a 26-weeker and it really didn't make any difference support/healthcare wise once we left the hospital. Can you explain exactly why you're putting so much significance on the use of this term?

My 37+0 baby was 8lb 8oz! He was covered in lanugo, became quite jaundiced and had to be readmitted. He was definitely early but not prem and larger than most full term babies, but even the midwives thought I must have got my dates mixed up. (Despite using ovulation sticks and dating scans agreeing.) My ExH was an 11lb full term baby.

I was told that age was more important than weight but being heavier was still an advantage over an equally early 5lber.

Try bite your tongue. I'd never have got away with calling my DS prem at 37 weeks. With a much smaller baby, though, cut your friend some slack.

37 is considered full term but the hospital Dr's like for u to hit 40 weeks before they take any kind of unnecessary intervention unless. It's an emergency of course.

My daughter was a month early and weighed 7lb 4.5oz. Never occurred to me to consider her premature.

sounds like you have some stuff to work through from your early days of motherhood

Does it help to remember that 12 week dating scans are +/-5 days (i remember 7days but being conservative) which means both your babies could be technically prem or both technically term.

I'm so confused. What has the new mother done to upset you?

Oh because her baby was born a few days later the yours and she therefore isn't entitled to fall it premature but is doing. I get it now. You are being ridiculous.

Of she was induced at 37 weeks I assume there was a medical reason. The baby would be unlikely to be ready to be born and therefore might have had feeding issues etc.

Wow massive autocorrect problems there.

It’s a 48 hour difference, absolutely nothing. You need to try to stop focusing on this and get some support with whatever is really upsetting you.

It’s a 48 hour difference, absolutely nothing.

Wrong. A day in the womb is worth a week out of it.

6 weeks in scbu with a 2lb 9oz baby here, no one gave a shit whose babies weighed what or how early they were, we just rooted for those babies fighting for their lives and supported one another as much as we could. Total strangers became lifelong friends because of what we were going through. Go give your head a massive wobble

I think posters should be a bit kinder OP, it sounds like you found your experience difficult and frightening and it obviously rankles (though no fault of your friend's) that your experience where your baby's term can genuinely be described as premature, wasn't recognised as such medically, whereas your friends' baby is not technically/medically premature but is being described/recognised as such.

Just keep reminding yourself that your DC is (presumably, hopefully) healthy despite their premature arrival, as is your friends' baby for its early (albeit not technically premature) arrival, so you both have safely arrived healthy babies. That's all that matters. And moan about it as much as possible to a sympathetic ear (partner, close friend, sibling?) but obviously not to your friend, it won't help you and it will feel like you're competing with her when really you're probably angry that your DC's term appeared to have been minimised by staff at the time. These kind of details are important to mothers. This site is full of people reminiscing about a single, off the cuff remark a MW or MIL or whoever made when their babies were born 15 years ago etc.

I had 2 premature babies, one born at 35+3 and the other born at 36+6. It's hard having a baby at that gestation. Both of mine have long term problems and spent time in neonatal. My almost term baby was born by emergency c-section and didn't breathe or cry for nearly an hour. The first photos I have of him are him looking lifeless and blue, surrounded by worried looking drs and nurses. I was lucky that he had a paediatrician who considered him premature and corrected his age in his red book. The health visitor didn't agree but I just said firmly that "Dr x said we should use his corrected age".

I understand how you feel. Babies born at this stage can vary enormously and it seems unfair when your baby is poorlier than others born at the same gestation. It's horrible being told that your baby isn't premature, usually by someone who has never had a baby born early.