to feel sorry for my friend with the eco-warrior DH?

[k2p2k2tog]

(sort of lighthearted but not really)

Very close friend is married to a professional eco-warrior. He's employed high up in a green charity and has in the past been involved in Green politics. They have two daughters of school age. Friend also works but not in the green sector, she's a nurse.

Because her DH is a dyed in the wool "knit your own lentil" person, he has to be seen to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Nothing non-eco. They do have a car, but he cycles to work and she takes the train.

But what makes me feel REALLY sorry for her, and her girls, is that they have bought a touring caravan for all holidays. Despite the fact they're earning good money and could afford a week in the sun somewhere, they spend every holiday cooped up in a tin box so he can show what a WORTHY person he is.

They are currently in Wales. In the freezing cold and rain. In fucking FEBRUARY.

Are caravan holidays particularly ecologically friendly? We live somewhere where RVs (recreational vehicles, basically big caravans integrated into your vehicle) are very popular. Also hugely expensive and very expensive to drive around too as they use a lot of fuel. I would have though taking a train and staying in an older building was likely to be much lower footprint. And possibly more fun than a cold, wet week in Wales.

I also find it better to be non- hypocritical. I've been veggie all my life and am moving towards veganism as it's a natural progression IMO. I also only buy cruelty free stuff.

If he was high up in a green charity but jetted off to the Caribbean I'd judge.

There's nothing inherently 'better' about holidays in the sun.

Oh yes there is.

I am in Scotland.
Going abroad is the only time my knees get any daylightg.

YABU. And so is everyone suggesting that he’s doing it for show. It’s his job. He’s dedicated the skills he has to environmental causes. That’s a bloody big ‘show’.

He’s away right now with his family. That’s all the kids and his wife need. Time with their dad/husband. Presumably having their own van will mean they can get away together more often. And go to the continent.

Holidays mean different things to different people, but to me they are time together to reconnect. The worst holiday I ever had was on a tropical island with one of the world’s top 10 beaches on it. The best one in recent years was camping in Cornwall. It’s the memories you make, not where you are.

And doing it in a way that minimises your environmental impact should be applauded not sneered at.

I have met more people recently in my line of work who are living according to environmental principles, so I think it is growing. Part of me, like you, has had thoughts that they are making life so hard. But then, they are the ones being realistic really, aren’t they? Living within their environmentsl means - the rest of us are looking the other way and chucking more fossil fuels on the fire. Also, what kind of a person would he be if high up in his organisation and NOT living according to his apparent values, we would be criticising him then, eh?

YABU to use the tired old 'knit your own lentils/yoghurt' trope to sneer at somebody who, effectively or otherwise, is attempting to live by their own values and make the world a better place. So tired of seeing people think it raises them to put down others with a bit of passion for helping others/the planet.

Read through the whole thread wondering when someone was going to ask if the friend actually was OP, which is how I read it? Are you, OP? (If you say no I shan't believe you now anyway )

To be fair, wild horses couldn't drag me to a week in a caravan in Wales in February, or to a built-up resort in Mallorca in August.

Funnily enough, holidays aren't such a polarised choice.

They sound like DH and I frankly and you sound like an utter ARSE OP.

Not everyone wants "a week in the sun" ffs!

What? Some God-awful package holiday with all the other Brits?

No ta.

I would LOVE Wales at any time of the year. It's packed with atmosphere, history and stunning countryside. What's not to love? We don't ALL relax in the same way.

For some, being around historical buildings and quiet countryside is the most wonderful thing and some people hate hot weather.

Unless the OP's 'friend' has asked for help, I don't think its any of her business how this family live their lives. I detect a hint of envy and guilt, otherwise why so worked up about it?

Eh? So you dislike what they do and feel sorry for friend?
Presumably she married him knowing his feelings and is quite capable of saying no if she didn't want to do these things.
Plus, if your idea of hardship is having to get the train to work and having a caravan then you live a very charmed life.

And yabvu (and silly)

Good on him for not being a raving hypocrite.

If flying unnecessarily is against his principles so be it. She could always leave him and jet off on holiday if flying somewhere warm is more important than her marriage.

Do you think your friend must prefer somewhere hot because of something she's said to you OP, or because you can't possibly conceive of someone not actually liking the heat of a southern European summer, much less paying to inflict it on themselves?

I'm not environment mad but hate flying - much rather be in wales than abroad.

I’m assuming that your friend has complained about this?

You can’t win sometimes. Do some good for the environment, go on holiday in the UK with family, generally be a good person and you get called all sorts.

That's great. Good for them. They could go abroad by train or put the camper on the ferry. We went to Italy by train last year, it was ace.

He is the kind if person who would survive if there was an environmental catastrophe..he sounds sensible and resourceful tbh.

Id love a camper van and ii bet the kids love it too!

Nothing wrong with a caravan although personally in February in wales we’d hire a cottage with a fireplace. Nobody needs to fly to Mallorca every year.

When I read the thread title I didn't think it was going to be about holidays.

I was struck, when I first became a mum and hellbent on being "good" at it how all of a sudden being eco was being pushed to the fore. All of a sudden it was considered important to be eco in a way that required the kind of effort that wasn't humoured pre-kids. Wash your own 'real nappies' - effort, don't use wet wipes - effort, make your own cleaning products - effort, source ethical, organic clothes for the baby - effort. And who was the person meant to be running this renewed green campaign on the home front ? Yeah that exhausted bastard on maternity leave, trying to reformulate something resembling a life around a new (and colic ridden in my case) baby.

But no, I can't get too excited about holidays.

I couldn't be married to anyone that selfish.

Sounds like my perfect holiday.

I stopped going abroad years ago - couldn't see the point in going abroad during our own summer months, paying shitloads of money to give to another economy, and the local people seemed to resent me for being openly British and proud of it.

So DH and I decided (he was relieved when I suggested it) that we see more of our own beautiful country. And we do :)

Saving up for a caravan at the moment, to use as a home from home.

We have reluctantly agreed to go abroad with our DD, her DH and 2 children, next year, for her 30th. That is her wish, so we will honour it. Luckily she wants to go to the only country that I would go to anyway, having already been there 17 times :)

But with a caravan you can have lots of holidays not just one week.
We are motor homers and go away all year in ours and it's very cosy.
I love sitting in ours with the rain lashing outside and the gas heating on and a Good film or game of scrabble.
Last year we had a three week holiday in Spain in it, three festivals and numerous weekends away. I pay around 20 a night and have the use of two pools, soft play, entertainment nad a beach on my doorstep.
What's not to like.