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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s wrong of this man to film a child?

358 replies

MrsA2015 · 14/02/2018 23:02

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5391341/Passenger-films-toddlers-eight-hour-tantrum-flight.html

I can see why he filmed it but for it to be put on the net is too far! I feel quite sorry for the mother she must have felt mortified

OP posts:
k2p2k2tog · 15/02/2018 08:16

Sedation is a chemical restraint and should not be used so willy nilly

Totally agree. But unless the child concerned is flying back and forward from Germany to America monthly, this is likely to be a once or twice a year occurrence. Doctors prescribe diazepam to adults who are nervous flyers to get them through a flight on an irregular basis.

Chugalug · 15/02/2018 08:22

My adult son with autism would behaved exactly like that on a plane for 8 hours...so we never took him...he says he will never fly as the stress would be too much for him to cope with...which is why we never took him on a plane as a child.as a parent you know what your child can and can't cope with.

5plusMeAndHim · 15/02/2018 08:28

The doctor suggested Phenergan for my lively toddler on a longhaul flight (in the days before it was contra indicated for littlies) Thank god I had a trial run at home first.it had the opposite effect and had him bouncing off the walls!
Seriously though parents should not have taken someone like that on a longhaul flight.Absolutely selfish
I think airlines carry gaffer tape-maybe that should have been employed

MotherforkingShirtballs · 15/02/2018 08:30

I've seen/heard and dealt with SN children (and adults) who've been stressed out and having a meltdown. This boy didn't sound anything like that. He sounded exactly like the NT kids I've heard having normal tantrums.

Holy fuck, you can diagnose SN based on the pitch and tone of a child's screams? Have you told the NHS? This could save them a fortune in diagnostic processes! At the moment it takes years of assessments and knock backs to get a diagnosis and the waiting lists are horrendous. I'll send you an audio clip of DS next time he kicks off, interested to see if you concur with the neurology team.

ShatnersWig · 15/02/2018 08:32

Kettle There is tolerance and then there is common sense. Putting every other issue aside, it simply isn't sensible or safe to allow any child to climb on, sit on, stand on headrests of planes. It just isn't and I don't understand how anyone could actually think it is.

Spikeyball · 15/02/2018 08:34

"someone like that"

How about just saying 'their child'.

HangingRoundInABofAlorsStance · 15/02/2018 08:35

So...this was posted last August on you tube by Shane Townley. He then had said video managed by Newsflare so I assume he gets money off the back of it, when various outlets have picked it up like this week.
Motivated by hits to his channel from the previous filming he did of a distressed OAP in the subway a year ago. That gem was placed under a comedy tag.
More hits than his art videos get, put it that way.
I would rather spend 8 hours with the screaming child than this creep.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 15/02/2018 08:38

This must have been awful for all concerned. Someone upthread mentioned his "so called mother". If the child was having a meltdown (and I don't know but there seems to be a question mark over this) then comforting, cuddling, telling off and distraction won't necessarily work. They can't hear you. You could actually add more sensory stimulus and exacerbate the meltdown. I suppose I must look like I'm doing nothing when my son does this, I've no choice but to hover and be there when the wave recedes.

We can't know why they were on the flight, it could have been unavoidable or it could have been his first time or he was alright last time.

I don't frequently fly (sadly) but is this not something that would have made the flight divert, land and remove them. I'm not saying this is right but 8hrs is a long time and I'm surprised they just kept going.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 15/02/2018 08:39

Oh my gosh hanginging what a creep!

whiteroseredrose · 15/02/2018 08:40

I'm really sorry about that Spikey. But the point I'm making still stands. I'm objecting to the rights card being played all the time. Everyone has rights, or should have. But often they clash. Eg my right to a female only, penis-free environment when I get undressed or when I had a miscarriage and a man-who-feels-he's-a-woman who also wants to be on a women's ward. Whose rights are more important? My right to stay a citizen of Europe and the slight majority's rights to vote to leave. That mum's right to upset her child and a plane full of people vs their right not to have a stressful 8 hour flight. The passengers didn't have a choice. They knew nothing about this child when they bought their tickets. Yet its 'tough tits' to 200 not 'sorry Madam you have to leave' to the mother of this child who kicked off before take off.

Spikeyball · 15/02/2018 08:46

What an utter cunt that man is. Obviously looking for some attention for his art.

OliviaStabler · 15/02/2018 08:47

Having a disability is not an excuse to subject other ppl to something like that for 8 hrs, especially as they couldn't get away.

I totally agree. This child was seemingly allowed to act how he wanted for the whole flight. What would have happened if there had been bad turbulence and he would have to be strapped into his own seat for safety?

From what I can see, I agree in this case with the child being medicated for the flight, not only for his safety but for the relief and safety of all the other passengers.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 15/02/2018 08:48

Or can't get attention for his art.

HangingRoundInABofAlorsStance · 15/02/2018 08:50

MotherforkingShirtballs best name ever! I loved The Good Place. Season 2 finale made me cry. If I could like your posts I would btw.
What do we owe each other....
Compassion would be a start.
My youngest does not travel anywhere that isnt within 90 mins. We hop in two plane rides to reach home. We have done that only twice in 5 years and holidays are restricted to local or a nearby city.
I was lucky, my kids got compliments. Cabin crew were excellent...shout out to Sarah Malpass at KLM if anyone knows her.
But I am well aware on a different day, it could be different. Long haul will never be attempted. We do not know the circumstances of this trip or the editing of the video.
The prick exploiting the footage however can do one.

RJnomore1 · 15/02/2018 08:54

This would have driven me apeshit and I'm quite tolerant.

Guy was right. The aircraft should never have been allowed to take off with the child in that state. It wouldn't have with an adult.

The reason for the child being like that is irrelevant to the other 200 whatever people on the plane who had paid for and expected a safe flight.

The mother could easily have had downloaded apps to the iPad to keep him going till the wifi kicked in if that would have helped.

Whole episode was disgraceful and while not the poor child's fault most definitely not the fault of the other passengers. My mother has health issues which would have resulted in this making her very unwell for example. Not just irritated. Staff and parent dealt appallingly with the situation.

I'm still able to have sympathy for the child and realise it was not handled well at the same time.

snash12 · 15/02/2018 08:57

Keeping him strapped in for 8 hours is physical restraint. One step better than medical restraint. I disagree with both unless all other avenues have been exhausted.

American Airlines physically restrained me with my seatbelt last year for almost 7 hours. Do you think I have a case to sue? Grin

5plusMeAndHim · 15/02/2018 08:57

What an utter cunt that man is

he really isn't!

Spikeyball · 15/02/2018 09:01

Yes perhaps utter arsehole would have been a better description for a man who makes a habit of filming distressed people and sticking it on YouTube.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/02/2018 09:03

This reply has been deleted

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kaytee87 · 15/02/2018 09:03

It is never acceptable to film someone else without permission and post it on the internet, especially a child.
I feel for the other passengers as I find children crying really distressing but I'd realise that 8 hours of crying isn't normal and think to myself there's possible SN, then I would have offered the Mum a smile and, if I was sitting close enough, some help

HangingRoundInABofAlorsStance · 15/02/2018 09:04

5plus He deliberately posted that video for the 800k hits and optioned it to Newsflare for financial gain. Had previous form for filming an OAP who wanted/needed space in the underground. That makes him morally corrupt in my book.

RedHelenB · 15/02/2018 09:09

If he was distressed running around he may as well have been distressed being forced to sit in his seat.

BarbarianMum · 15/02/2018 09:09

Nobody has the right to fly if they cannot fly safely. A child who cannot bear to be restrained cannot fly safely. A child who copes with flying by climbing on and over other people's seats cannot fly safely and also poses a possible risk of injury to others on the flight.

The screaming is actually a separate matter as it is unpleasant but not dangerous. Ironically constant screaming would have been far worse for people with certain disabilities than for nt people, so whose rights do you prioritise then?

ChickenPaws · 15/02/2018 09:11

Filming people for monetary gain, shits and giggles or to humiliate them is despicable behaviour.

MotherofTerriers · 15/02/2018 09:13

No, he shouldn't have put the video on the internet
We don't know that the child has SN
We don't know that the woman with him is his mother - she could be the nanny, with mum and dad having a nice quiet time in first class
We don't know whether she made attempts to calm him down, or didn't because she knew it wouldn't work, or didn't because she couldn't be arsed.
But the plane really shouldn't have taken off. It wasn't fair to put a distressed small child through that for 8 hours. And it also wasn't fair on the other passengers, at least some of whom might have had their own problems and not been able to cope with 8 hours of screaming.