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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partners who sent flowers/balloons to a person's workplace

277 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 14/02/2018 17:40

That's it really...AIBU to think this is incredibley showy to send flowers or balloons etc to your partners workplace. It reeks of smug couples and "look at me and this big generic grand gesture I can do in front of as many people as possible ". Understated things done more privately are a lot better and I've never actually seen anyone not look embarrassed to have flowers delivered to them at work. It's done more as a "look what a wonderful DP I am in front of my partners work colleagues " thing....

Yes I'm in a relationship and not bitter. I get flowers and this idea would be my worse nightmare Grin

OP posts:
ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 14/02/2018 20:56

My husband sends me flowers to work because he knows I love it. Though he would send them elsewhere if I wasn’t working that day (so the day valentines was a Saturday they came to our house). I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks!

FinallyHere · 14/02/2018 21:02

Our first valentines day as a couple, cough, cough years ago, I thought it would be fun to send him a balloon. It was advertised as a metallic balloon in a box with glitter confetti. Brilliant.

What I had not considered was that he worked in the defence industry, where every parcel is run though a metal detector and that a box, with no return address containing something metallic is not going to fare well. When i phoned him to ask whether the glitter had gone everywhere in his office, the security staff were jus5 preparing to blow up the unopened parcel a controlled explosion. Sigh.

willdoitinaminute · 14/02/2018 21:12

I once had an employee who spent the whole morning telling everyone that her wonderful DH would be sending her 30 red roses because he loved her so much. The flowers eventually arrived and were duly paraded for all to gasp and admire. I was suitably impressed, since like the rest of the staff I had had my doubts about him, until I checked the phone bill for that month and found 26 phone calls to her home number and the one call to the local florist.

GrannyHeadology · 14/02/2018 21:12

My husband often sends flowers to my workplace. It certainly isn’t to show off, there is just no body at home to take the delivery so it’s a logical choice to send them to work. I couldn’t give a fuck if anyone at work has an opinion on it

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 14/02/2018 21:27

Happened to me once.

Fucking hated it.

I think it's a bit wanky when others get flowers at work but if they like it then it's none of my business. I do agree that sometimes it seems like showboating (but not always).

I am notoriously anti-valentine though and reminded my partner a few weeks ago not to get me a card or present.

Voice0fReason · 14/02/2018 21:29

I think it's lovely - whether it happens to other people or me.
It's happy - I like to see happiness.

TooManyPaws · 14/02/2018 21:29

It just makes me feel happy for the person. I've had flowers delivered twice at work, the Sam work, and both from my colleagues - once for a significant birthday and the other on my last day there. I bloody loved it.

DF was a traditionalist. DM got flowers on birthday and Christmas plus anniversary - which was Valentine's Day so she also got a single red rose along with a bouquet of her favourite flowers. I send the same to their grave now. When DM had her stroke and I took over all the cooking etc at Christmas, I got flowers too as a thank you.

I'm a sucker for silly little romantic stuff too, like the time my then boyfriend used his keys to sneak a big bar of chocolate on to my coffee table.

colourful86 · 14/02/2018 21:30

I'd have preferred flowers at work to the crotchless kecks and fishnet bra I got... 🙈

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/02/2018 21:40

That’s certainly not the usual floral display!did you open them in work?

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 21:45

Willdo that’s a really sad story.

FireCrotch · 14/02/2018 22:09

Last summer there was a woman on the bus going home carrying a huge bunch of flowers. An old bloke said to her that they were beautiful and must have been expensive. I saw the gleam in her eye when she asked him if he had a partner at home. He said yes and she practically threw them at him and said to give her these! The bloke looked thrilled and so did she. Grin

JustHereForThePooStories · 14/02/2018 22:18

I promise this is true.

I used to work with a woman whose boyfriend would send her twelve dozen roses every year. As in 12 x bouquets of long stemmed roses. He was self employed as a drug dealer and goon for hire and it happened every single year. She’d always pretend to be surprised.

It was quite stupid because she always took the bus to and from work but, on Valentine’s Day, he’d have to drive into the city to collect her, in his van.

Quickerthanavicar · 14/02/2018 22:24

Used to work in a large call centre. The flowers would arrive and everyone would think, how are they for. Late in the day deliveries were also thought to have bene ordered by the recipient.

TheStoic · 14/02/2018 22:35

I had roses delivered to me at work this year...just after I’d been chatting with my colleagues about how my partner and I don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s Day. I was very flustered and embarrassed, but in a good way.

Backtoblack1 · 14/02/2018 22:36

I think it’s vulgar

2018SoFarSoGreat · 14/02/2018 23:29

posted this on another related thread today. Told DH don't send me flowers on V Day. He does buy me lovely flowers every week for home, and did so this week so thought he'd listened. Day before V day the most enormous arrangement arrived. It is stunning. Has been several years that I've given him the ban and he has followed it. This year, I am delighted he chose to get around it.

I also spend long hours at the office, so am enjoying them. Just can't see my desk at the moment - they are ridiculously enormous.

Scuzzlet · 14/02/2018 23:44

This reply has been deleted

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LardLizard · 14/02/2018 23:48

Can be a warning sign of a controlling man esp if I’m fairly early stages of relationship
Like he’s marking you as his

Metaphorically pissing over you

Cringe and embarasssing

NewYearNiki · 14/02/2018 23:50

Its pathetic.

Valentines was to send someone you fancied an anonymous card

Not from husband to wife between long established partners and dont get me started on the cards for children and to and from the cat /dog.

Ssssurvey · 14/02/2018 23:54

I've worked in a call centre where the florist arrived with 2 half dozens and 1 dozen, the 2 half dozens were in bloom so looked fab, the dozen looked pathetic but cost much more.

Ssssurvey · 15/02/2018 00:00

I've been called to reception to collect flowers (not valentine's) only to find they are from a petrol station and hand delivered, it was actually very embarrassing to go back up with a tiny bunch of flowers. I know I should appreciate the thought, but give them to me at home please

YouGotRedOnYou · 15/02/2018 00:18

My sister who is very down to earth, friendly and not in the least bit showy had some sent to her at work a few years ago by her ex (well he's an ex now). It wasn't a Birthday, anniversary, Valentine's day etc so she had no idea they'd be arriving. My sister is a lovely and attractive person. She draws people to her naturally and has many friends of both sexes. Someone took a photo of the team she worked in and tagged her in it. Her boyfriend was horrified to see 5 men in the picture and made it clear he was jealous. The comments he made were really petty and my sis had no choice but to remove the tag. They "talked" and the conversation moved onto showy behaviour. She happened to mention that as she's a low key kind of person she would hate to receive flowers at work or in public as when it did happen to others it made her cringe and all eyes were on that person. A couple of days later a bunch of the gaudiest flowers ever turned up at her work it had glittery sticks with bees and butterflies pinging about and leaves sprayed gold and silver. The card said "Is everyone staring and cringing? He-he-he!" She was fuming and ended it with him. She might have forgiven him but the person next to her read the card out loud. Arsehole.

Fluffyears · 15/02/2018 00:22

My anniversary is the same day as an old bosses birthday. She’d been banging on all day about how popular she is and how many cards and presents get sent to work blah blah. My phone went when she was away from her desk and it was reception as I had some flowers from DP. As I walked back to our department with them she stood up and tried to take them off me. She honestly thought they were for her!

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes · 15/02/2018 01:27

Fluffy I once had a colleague accuse me of stealing squirts of her perfume and try to take the bottle off me. When I said it was mine she marched over to her station, open the drawer only to find her own bottle still in there. It was a rarish perfume (Alberta Ferretti?!) which was an unwanted gift given to me by my sister. Her face was a picture Grin

ReanimatedSGB · 15/02/2018 01:41

As with most things, it depends a lot on the context. (I think I remember a boyfriend bringing/sending flowers to my workplace once about 20 years ago but can't remember now if it was VD or we'd had a row.) it can be rather nice to be made aware that someone's thinking about you. It can even be a kind of shared 'We both know this is a bit naff but, hey, have some flowers anyway' Nice Thing.
And it can be embarrassing or scary, or a competitive wank - 'well MY man sends me orchids and diamonds and all you got was a single red rose ner ner ner.'