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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners who sent flowers/balloons to a person's workplace

277 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 14/02/2018 17:40

That's it really...AIBU to think this is incredibley showy to send flowers or balloons etc to your partners workplace. It reeks of smug couples and "look at me and this big generic grand gesture I can do in front of as many people as possible ". Understated things done more privately are a lot better and I've never actually seen anyone not look embarrassed to have flowers delivered to them at work. It's done more as a "look what a wonderful DP I am in front of my partners work colleagues " thing....

Yes I'm in a relationship and not bitter. I get flowers and this idea would be my worse nightmare Grin

OP posts:
PiffIeandWiffle · 16/02/2018 00:45

Personally I think it's a bit ch*vvy & would say to me that someone was trying a bit too hard!

Who are they trying to prove something to?

PiffIeandWiffle · 16/02/2018 00:47

YABU - it's lovely to get flowers at work

Not if you work anywhere that's not a warehouse or sorting depot....

squoosh · 16/02/2018 02:43

Personally I think it's a bit chvvy & would say to me that someone was trying a bit too hard!*

??

Is there any bloody thing in the world that some insecure MNers won't try and put down as being 'chavvy'?!

ElizaDontlittle · 16/02/2018 03:05

The only person I've known who regularly got flowers at work was clearly being abused by her husband. People from the wider department would comment how lovely he was and well-trained she had him but it was clear that it was about ownership and control to those of us that were closer. So I'd kind of assume it was something like that going on. Plus it's mad to waste money on the markup that is Valentine's Day prices!!!

Isetan · 16/02/2018 06:49

It wouldn’t be my cup of tea but if someone received them and were happy about it, I’d probably be happy that they were happy. I remember a colleague receiving a massive bunch of flowers and although she was happy I think she was mindful of people like the OP, someone having to temper their happiness because of judgemental types pisses me off more than someone receiving flowers ever could.

Geordie1944 · 16/02/2018 08:59

It's not that people like the OP are not entitled to express their opinion, mean-minded, snide and grudging as it may be.

It's more that people like the OP think that everyone else should be interested in and take note of their pissy little opinions.

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 16/02/2018 09:45

@geordie

"It's more that people like the OP think that everyone else should be interested in and take note of their pissy little opinions."

I'm pretty sure I never said people should be interested in my opinion...you made that one up yourself. I expressed my opinion and posted it up for discussion. You know...on a discussion forum Hmm

OP posts:
1ndig0 · 16/02/2018 10:03

How ridiculous to make generalisations about the simple act of sending flowers to your wife / girlfriend at work!

All you have to do is ring Interflora or similar. That's all there is to it - takes a minute or so.

Yet people are saying things like, "the only case I know if this the guy was abusive / controlling / showing off"....etc. Total nonsense.

People send flowers and gifts in all kinds of ways and what does it have to do with anyone else?

PiffIeandWiffle · 16/02/2018 10:42

Is there any bloody thing in the world that some insecure MNers won't try and put down as being 'chavvy'?!

I thought it was politer than saying "scummy".....

ralfeesmum · 16/02/2018 10:45

No, you're not being unreasonable - it smacks of falseness and seems like a put-up job.

I worked in the local council offices with an unbearably pretentious ans smug woman (the sort who knew the price of everything - and made sure we all knew as well - but the value of nothing) who had flowers delivered each and EVERY Friday afternoon to her desk supposedly from her adoring "hubby". (Yes, she always called him that!)

We all, strongly, suspected that the poor twit was prodded, prompted and damn well nagged into doing it.

And yes, they eventually ended up getting divorced.......his infidelity, apparently.

Bekabeech · 16/02/2018 10:52

Maybe for 25th Wedding anniversary/retirement - okay.
Any other time and I would be furious if someone sent me something like this.

pollymere · 16/02/2018 11:05

I wouldn't mind birthday or anniversary but not Valentines. However, I'm getting more and more self conscious that I've been married reasonably happily for twenty years when friends are divorced or widowed so I try not to do anything showy at all. I didn't post anything on FB for Valentine's for example. Everyone has a birthday so I think this is the safer bet.

Dianag111 · 16/02/2018 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReanimatedSGB · 16/02/2018 11:50

Again, you don't know the actual set-up of anyone else who gets (or sends) flowers. Some women who are regularly deluged with 'romantic' gifts are being abused/stalked by the sender. (It can be very difficult, if you have a stalker who does things like send flowers, to get stupid people to understand: they will be 'Oh, that's romantic, he must really like you, you should give him a chance...') Some women have partners who send flowers every time they have had an affair, made a drunken arse of themselves or some other bad behaviour: the 'flowers as apology' can get tiresome after a whiile when what you want is for him to stop fucking up in the first place.
Some women get flowers because they nag and whine and sulk to the point that the man basically sets up an automatic direct debit for a bunch of cheap carnations once a week or on a list of 'special' dates.

And some people enjoy sending and recieving gifts and flowers from time to time, and good luck to them.

Bekabeech · 16/02/2018 11:53

I like gifts and flowers AT HOME. I do find the thought of someone sending them into work (other than a grateful client etc.) creepy and stalkerish. I prefer private gifts than flamboyant ones that seem less meaningful as they are for public display.

thecatsarecrazy · 16/02/2018 14:11

Fuck flowers and chocolates I just want my husband to put the bins out

RedHelenB · 16/02/2018 14:14

I got roses on the twelfth from my ex. Everyone was joking that He d got the day wrong but it was for the day we met! I quite liked it and it wasn't a control thing either.

Trinity66 · 16/02/2018 14:16

Bit of a negative attitude to something positive tbh

MaisyPops · 16/02/2018 14:48

Trinity66
It's not the buying of flowers or presenrs that people are hmm about. It's getting them delivered to a workplace.

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 16/02/2018 14:52

Flowers at work are lovely, provided you're subtle about it. DP knows I love it so does t once a year or so.

Balloons are only for humiliation!! For my 30th, my so-called friends in the office sent me a massive helium filled balloon.

It was a tombstone with a vulture on top, and the inscription was, "herein lies your youth".

I'm not joking.

I wish I was 😭

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 16/02/2018 14:54

Here's what the bloody thing looked like

Partners who sent flowers/balloons to a person's workplace
MaisyPops · 16/02/2018 14:55

itsmeimcathyivecomehome
That sounds brilliant!!
We have a family member who hates balloons. It was so tempting to send a giant 60 to her. Grin

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 16/02/2018 14:56

Hahaha - why does she hate them?

If she is scared of them (popping or something) that's one thing. If she just goes on about them being tacky, I might well have succumbed 👹👹👹

MaisyPops · 16/02/2018 15:05

She just doesn't like them and thinks the big ones are a bit 'look at me' for anyone other than children

BothersomeCrow · 16/02/2018 15:24

I've always worked in places where you can't have deliveries. So it was lucky my team had just moved into a new building once, where we were outnumbered by bored security and a huge bouquet arrived for me. DP does not do cut flowers.

Turned out to be from a legal firm I had given a seminar to - they couldn't pay me so sprang about £200 on flowers. Needed three vases it was so big - think those huge arrangements on reception desks - and of course colleagues took the piss for the next year.

Currently most of my colleagues are young and single and hit the pub together for Valentine's Day (I'm waiting for the gossip and have a couple bets on who will get together). Someone got a colleague a big helium balloon recently for a birthday - he left it at work so now it gets moved round the huge open plan office each day as needed.

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