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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners who sent flowers/balloons to a person's workplace

277 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 14/02/2018 17:40

That's it really...AIBU to think this is incredibley showy to send flowers or balloons etc to your partners workplace. It reeks of smug couples and "look at me and this big generic grand gesture I can do in front of as many people as possible ". Understated things done more privately are a lot better and I've never actually seen anyone not look embarrassed to have flowers delivered to them at work. It's done more as a "look what a wonderful DP I am in front of my partners work colleagues " thing....

Yes I'm in a relationship and not bitter. I get flowers and this idea would be my worse nightmare Grin

OP posts:
000bourneFarm · 14/02/2018 18:44

But I have an even better plan. For 2019 because right next to florist was something else and I thought....hmmm....,now you could do those mail order, or over the counter, at Easter, birthdays and high days.

Dragons' Den here I come.

Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2018 18:45

I really don't think the OP sounds bitter. Just matter of fact.

trinity0097 · 14/02/2018 18:46

I spend more time at work than I do at home, so I prefer to get flowers at work as I see them more there!

fabulousfrumpyfeet · 14/02/2018 18:48

I would be mortified. To me it seems a bit like marking territory.

Bloodybridget · 14/02/2018 18:48

Ha! I started an ill-advised affair with my former driving instructor shortly after I finally passed my test. The morning after, large bouquet arrives at my workplace. Uber manager on visit: Hey, Bloody, who sent you those? Me: My ex driving instructor. Her: Hmm

ReinettePompadour · 14/02/2018 18:51

According to the schools twitter feed 3 bouquets have been delivered to staff at school today.

1 had a proposal attached que students taking the piss all day and the headteacher is bragging one of those bouquets is from his wife. hopefully for him and not another member of staff if you listen to gossip

I don't really have an opinion on them being sent to their work but I do have an opinion on the headteacher putting it on twitter. It doesnt really fit in with the e-safety messages, netball results, staff vacancies and my wife still loves me because she sent me flowers Confused

ChocFudgeLover · 14/02/2018 18:52

If there's a genuine reason like a partner working away and the person obviously won't be at home to receive them = fine.

When a partner could just give them to them person at the end of the day = Hmm

I used to work with two girls who would practically have a competition over it and make out no one else's partners cared as much. It was lame and pathetic.

Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2018 18:53

I wonder how many of the recipients of flowers today sent them to themselves? Wink Grin

BrimFire · 14/02/2018 18:54

Valentines is meant to be daft and cheesy though surely. Big showy bunch of flowers at work, mysterious admirers etc.
I think the couples in secure happy relationships are right to not celebrate. It's not for them.

thehairyhog · 14/02/2018 18:54

I don’t think op sounds bitter either. I’d hate it too and clearly lots of others on this thread would too, though I wouldn’t mind really if it was someone else and they liked it. I’d just think ‘good for them, glad that wasn’t me Blush’

And it’s certainly no worse than the tedious social media posts about flowers received!

ChocFudgeLover · 14/02/2018 18:55

To me it seems a bit like marking territory

Just need to add some love bugs and a barbershop quartet Grin

A580Hojas · 14/02/2018 18:56

My husband has sent flowers to me at work. I assume it's because the florists are not able to deliver all Valentine bouquets before 8.00am and after 6.30pm (or whatever).

Only very silly and insecure people read anything in to that sort of gesture.

ambereeree · 14/02/2018 19:00

I would bloody love it!!!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 14/02/2018 19:04

Balloons are a bit much. Do you have to have them bobbing about on your desk all day and wrestle them home on public transport? How awkward.

Roomba · 14/02/2018 19:05

When a partner could just give them to them person at the end of the day = hmm

I appreciate everyone feels differently, but I feel like this too, tbh. I mean, it's still a nice surprise at the end of the day, isn't it? And then you're near a vase so don;t have to stick them in the sink in the grotty loos (urgh, airborne germ contimination anyone?) and have to keep refilling the sink because the plug is shit. And have everyone in the whole office wanting to know who they are from and why...

Maybe I'm just bitter because the only time I got flowers at work was as an apology after my ex hadn't come home for 3 days, then phoned me saying he'd just sobered up and had no clue where in the country he was (answer: Walsall - he'd never heard of the place!). So of course everyone was nosy and wanted to see the card, while I tried not to mention what a twat I lived with.

Mollieben · 14/02/2018 19:05

I agree op. It is really nice when it happens to you though!! Wink

ShatnersBassoon · 14/02/2018 19:07

I like to see people being surprised with romantic gestures. DH did it once last century, on our first anniversary, and I bloody loved it. He wasn't trying to mark his territory or show off, it's just I was at work from 8am and wouldn't be home until 6pm, and he thought it would please me.

I can't imagine there's any sinister motive in the vast majority of these deliveries.

gillybeanz · 14/02/2018 19:12

You sound bitter but why if you get flowers yourself?
Me and my dh only did valentines a couple of times in 29 years.
Not our thing at all, but I'd think it was a lovely gesture and be happy for the person.
My cynical side would hope it wasn't a guilt gesture sent by a man who liked dressing up as a baby, or an adulterer.

willstarttomorrow · 14/02/2018 19:14

I find it a bit cringe and uncouth tbh. I know I am bu though because a few weeks ago flowers were delivered to our office. I know this as I was trying to get out of the car park and was blocked in by their van. I commented to a colleague that I found this show of affection a little showy and 'notice how much we love each other'. She pointed out that I was bloody unobservant as the fostering team had flowers delievered on the same day for years by the the fostering team for new foster carers who had just got through panel!

GertNBert · 14/02/2018 19:15

I think it's really cringe'y (not sure how to write that word). It's very showy and naff. It's nice when people are in love and it's nice when people do romantic things such as giving flowers but why involve other people.

MollyHopps · 14/02/2018 19:22

Things like this never EVER happen to me.

I would be absolutely ecstatic to have flowers randomly turn up. YABU Grin

PoorYorick · 14/02/2018 19:23

My husband did this to me once. If I'd known in advance I'd have vetoed it as I always imagined I'd hate it. I actually really liked it.

Nothing wrong with keeping your gestures small and private if you like, but my God, why do so many of those people always bang on and on so loudly about how small and private they like their gestures?

MincemeatTart · 14/02/2018 19:24

My husband has done this if I’ve been working away and staying in a hotel. No,choice except to not buy flowers.

Welshlovebicuit · 14/02/2018 19:25

My poor DH went and bought flowers and turned up at my office to surprise me...I went home sick at lunch time :-/ ooops

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 14/02/2018 19:28

My cynical side would hope it wasn't a guilt gesture sent by a man who liked dressing up as a baby
Eh? Grin

I'd hate to receive a big bunch of flowers or balloons at work. I don't like to have attention drawn to me and would be cringing my head off if lots of people started ohhing and ahhing while secretly thinking How Showy.